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**Jim Cate** · 28-03-2020, 17:52

Good one, ArmyDave!

But fer crissakes, guys... STRING for a wx rock? Down here in Tassie we use 10 mm chain for most installations. However for the wx station on Maatsuyker Island where it gets seriously windy 16 mm stud link is in use.

Jim

Montanan · 28-03-2020, 18:27

Wyoming wind gauge, can be used on the mast of a sailboat. Will show apparent wind direction and velocity.

Montanan · 28-03-2020, 18:31

Quiet zone.

chrisr · 28-03-2020, 19:58

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the arse are interchangeable."

cheers,

belizesailor · 28-03-2020, 21:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montanan

Quiet zone.

I saw a similar image in Texas once. Severe t-storms came thru, drivers pulled over, extreme gusts knocked em over.

CatNewBee · 29-03-2020, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisr

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the arse are interchangeable."

cheers,

So true....

**GordMay** · 29-03-2020, 02:52

Pelagic · 29-03-2020, 04:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tonali99

What's the difference between:

"I'm worth it ..."
And,
"What's it worth to ya?"

Customer expectations

smbdyiam2 · 29-03-2020, 05:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by svmariane

Can't tell if you're deliberately toying with words, here in the Joke Thread. Peevishly vs previously? So.... Well played.

Anyway, it's wise that you chose to use a professional such as your neighbor who recognizes and understands the importance of using a quality rock. Many a ship ended on the rocks because the skipper used a low quality piece of sandstone as a wxr rock, only to find that it disintegrates in heavy rain and turbulent winds. Not all rocks are alike. Diamonds. I hear, are toughest of the lot. And don't forget the string quality! Amateur mistake, that. There's a recent thread on CF about proper UV thread for Sunbrella dodgers. That'll give you a starting point. Ya'get what ya pays for, right? Right. Pls keep us informed!

Update was coming so will do it now. First are you saying that I might not NO how to spill some works right? I went to school ONCE. and I lernered to use spill checkers. Ok for update
yes quality rocks are best we looked at some old rock and roll thingys but finally decided on Diamonds - Not Neil -the other kind. Jeweler keeps saying bigger is better. Also said they have hand helled models. He said they worked best with a swearing at--In ---cerrimatery. But said they had noticed that people that took them off and placed them in pockets rain into big storms--at home.
Thanks for info on string. Wife always said I had quite alighn. more later maybe.

Eigenvector · 29-03-2020, 05:54

As plying out in Texas.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1238924417549377536

LakeSuperior · 29-03-2020, 07:57

Batman walks into a room which Alfred is ìn, late at night.

"Alfred could you fill up the bathtub please," batman said after entering the room.

Alfred replied with, "what's a htub sir?"

LakeSuperior · 29-03-2020, 07:58

My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

Our daughter Chewbacca, not so much.

LakeSuperior · 29-03-2020, 08:02

I am under the assumption that all will now have the time to read these rather lengthy (for a joke thread) diary excerpts...

From the diary of pets

Excerpts from the diary of a dog:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from the diary of a cat:

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...