Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 30-12-2015, 19:57   #871
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Female ATC: Airline123 descend and maintain FLxxx.

Airline 123: Descend FLxxx pilots discretion.

Female ATC reams the pilot: DESCEND NOW! IF I WANTED YOU TO GO AT PILOTS DESCRETION, I WOULD HAVE SAID.......BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Huge pregnant pause, dead quiet.

Finally an unidentified voice says: Was I married to you once?





<enough for now...... >
__________________

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-12-2015, 20:28   #872
Registered User
 
Saleen411's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Discovery Bay, CA
Posts: 1,037
Re: The New Joke Thread

Continuing the aviation theme....true story.

Lufthansa to ground control.....Vee must return to zee gate.....vee are missing some passengers.

United to Lufthansa.......Did you check zee OVENS???

Lufthansa......Dats not funny United.

Thought I was gonna wet myself.
__________________

__________________
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore"- Andre' Gide
Saleen411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-12-2015, 20:39   #873
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: mi /grt lks
Boat: Laguna, windrose 25
Posts: 110
Re: The New Joke Thread

How many blondes does it take to change a light blub?

None! They'll all sit in the dark and bitch about it!!
Joel E Felt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-12-2015, 22:07   #874
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,085
Re: The New Joke Thread

Only Eleven hours till New Year 2016 here in the Philippines.

All the best to my CF friends near and far for their laughs and even the bad ones:thumbup:
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	1451538428186.jpg
Views:	254
Size:	58.7 KB
ID:	115918  
Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2016, 10:38   #875
Registered User
 
CHAZ's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: surprise
Boat: porta bote
Posts: 119
Re: The New Joke Thread

Jimmy to Junior:
"Hey Junior do you know what's a penis?"
"No, but I can ask at home and I will know tomorrow."
At home Junior goes to his Dad and asks:" Dad, do you know what's a penis?"
Dad is a bit taken back by the question but answers:"Ah, yes I know. Come with me to the bathroom and I will show you!"
In the bathroom Dad pulls down his trousers and points at his manly hood. "This is a penis and it is a 'perfect penis'."
Junior thanks his Dad and goes to bed a bit smarter.
The next day at school Jimmy asks Junior:" You know now about this penis thing?"
"Yeah," says Junior, "come to the bathroom and I will show you!"
In the bathroom Junior pulls his trousers down and points at his penis and says:"This is a penis, and if it were 2" shorter it would be a perfect one."
__________________


so what ?
CHAZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2016, 13:26   #876
D&D
Marine Service Provider
 
D&D's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Blue Mountains, Australia
Boat: now skippering Syd Harbour charters
Posts: 1,543
Re: The New Joke Thread

The paper today announced the winners of this years Burlington Liars’ Conference: #1 “I grew up in a family with 16 children. I never got to sleep alone until I got married.” #2 “It has been so dry here the river is only running every other day.” #3 “According to research presented at the 2015 World Climate summit, a major climate shift occurred as the result of hot flashes experienced when the Baby Boomers reached menopause.” All winners were from Wisconsin. At least we’re good at something.

Happy New Year to all!!!
D&D is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2016, 13:39   #877
Registered User
 
goat's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Everywhere (Sea of Cortez right now)
Boat: PSC Orion 27
Posts: 1,363
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by D&D View Post
The paper today announced the winners of this years Burlington Liars’ Conference: #1 “I grew up in a family with 16 children. I never got to sleep alone until I got married.” #2 “It has been so dry here the river is only running every other day.” #3 “According to research presented at the 2015 World Climate summit, a major climate shift occurred as the result of hot flashes experienced when the Baby Boomers reached menopause.” All winners were from Wisconsin. At least we’re good at something.

Happy New Year to all!!!
They said they're from Wisconsin.
goat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2016, 14:27   #878
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

So welcome to year 2016 AD. Or 2558 BE over there in Thailand.

For your entertainment, I've linked to A bit dated, yes, but still..... And I would have posted it in that "likability" thread but, you know, folk were getting serious over there! Hope you enjoy the (short) vid.

Warning: some strong language, some adult themes, no nudity.

We didn't start the Flame Wars!
Peeps were hatin' on it
Cuz I left my comment.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2016, 16:29   #879
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,085
Re: The New Joke Thread

That's funny and well done.....you should post it on the likeability thread
Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2016, 21:17   #880
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

OMG !!! This is TOO good and true to believe!!! OMG !!

I need some help from all of you CF people - and even all of you lurkers who haven't actually joined CF. Yet. {By the way.... Why DON'T you join???}

Anyway - the point is this... Read, please....

According to Good Morning America, this is NOT A HOAX! Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he is giving away $45 billion of Facebook stock. What you may not have heard is that he plans to give 10 percent of it away to people like YOU and ME! All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY. At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day’s posts and award 1,000 people with $4.5 million each as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection.

See the potential???? C'mon, folk! Join Facebook, copy & paste that para. You TOO could be a multi-millionaire!!!!













Disclaimer: I haven't joined Facebook. So If you win, send half of your winnings to me for the helpful hint.









Additional disclaimer:
I'm gearing up for 1st April.
Stay tuned.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2016, 21:25   #881
Registered User
 
goat's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Everywhere (Sea of Cortez right now)
Boat: PSC Orion 27
Posts: 1,363
Re: The New Joke Thread

goat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2016, 21:31   #882
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,206
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
OMG !!! This is TOO good and true to believe!!! OMG !!

I need some help from all of you CF people - and even all of you lurkers who haven't actually joined CF. Yet. {By the way.... Why DON'T you join???}

Anyway - the point is this... Read, please....

According to Good Morning America, this is NOT A HOAX! Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he is giving away $45 billion of Facebook stock. What you may not have heard is that he plans to give 10 percent of it away to people like YOU and ME! All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY. At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day’s posts and award 1,000 people with $4.5 million each as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection.

See the potential???? C'mon, folk! Join Facebook, copy & paste that para. You TOO could be a multi-millionaire!!!!

Disclaimer: I haven't joined Facebook. So If you win, send half of your winnings to me for the helpful hint.



Additional disclaimer:
I'm gearing up for 1st April.
Stay tuned.

Screw FB. It sounds like just another way to ad to their inventory (for profit). People complain about privacy, yet they spill their guts out to the world through social media. These forums are bad enough.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2016, 21:31   #883
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by goat View Post
Waaiiiit a minute......

You're not THIS goat, are you?????
Attached Images
 
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2016, 21:35   #884
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
Screw FB. It sounds like just another way to ad to their inventory (for profit). People complain about privacy, yet they spill their guts out to the world through social media. These forums are bad enough.
Did you possibly miss this little itty bit of info at the bottom of my post, or possibly not know what it means????

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Additional disclaimer:
I'm gearing up for 1st April.
Stay tuned.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2016, 21:47   #885
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,206
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Did you possibly miss this little itty bit of info at the bottom of my post, or possibly not know what it means????
No! But my discontent towards social media still stands.
__________________

__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 23:42.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.