Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 09-03-2020, 01:11   #8791
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 549
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GILow View Post
Subtract half an hour AND fifty years for South Australia.
it's an hour and fifty years when entering queensland...



cheers,
__________________

chrisr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2020, 14:49   #8792
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,399
Re: The New Joke Thread

Meanwhile preppers Downunder:
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	ausietps.jpg
Views:	213
Size:	74.5 KB
ID:	210371  
__________________

Montanan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2020, 00:29   #8793
Bailing as fast as I can.
 
GILow's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Boat: Swanson 42
Posts: 6,660
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanan View Post
Meanwhile preppers Downunder:


Uncomfortably accurate.
__________________
Count-down has commenced.
GILow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2020, 02:27   #8794
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

Among the many things, that never occurred to me.


__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2020, 06:51   #8795
Registered User
 
Eigenvector's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 395
Re: The New Joke Thread

A true story

https://www.wired.com/story/justine-haupt-rotary-phone/
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_0214.jpg
Views:	341
Size:	238.8 KB
ID:	210413  
__________________
==========================
Don't Tell My Mom I Work In the Oilfield,
She Thinks
I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse.
Eigenvector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2020, 13:27   #8796
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2020, 23:55   #8797
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 549
Re: The New Joke Thread

with apologies to the fairer sex...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... These are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In Fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine,
really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men! really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.
chrisr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:33   #8798
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:35   #8799
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:40   #8800
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:42   #8801
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

This is my kind of crew!


socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:45   #8802
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:46   #8803
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:49   #8804
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2020, 00:54   #8805
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,031
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

« SSSSM - Part Deux | - »
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:53.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.