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Old 20-01-2020, 15:10   #8326
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Re: The New Joke Thread

If anyone needs an ark, I happen to Noah guy.
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Old 20-01-2020, 15:22   #8327
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What did the pirate say when he turned eighty?

Aye Matey.
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Old 20-01-2020, 15:44   #8328
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. My opinion of you has dropped significantly lower since then.
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Old 20-01-2020, 15:49   #8329
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Montanan View Post
I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. My opinion of you has dropped significantly lower since then.
That's the same guy who was always shooting himself in the foot, but lately his aim is much higher
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Old 20-01-2020, 20:32   #8330
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Why does the Norway navy place bar codes on the sides of all their ships? When they come back to port they can SCANDINAVIAN.
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Old 20-01-2020, 21:39   #8331
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Please don't make me define "slow."

I am a quick thinker if you give me a lot of time.
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Old 21-01-2020, 08:47   #8332
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 21-01-2020, 10:49   #8333
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Son: Dad, | was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at school.

Dad: What's that?

Son: A big building with lots of kids.
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Old 21-01-2020, 10:50   #8334
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My weekend is looking like a poorly organized herb gardener.

Nothing but thyme on my hands.
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Old 21-01-2020, 10:51   #8335
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A restaurant test-marketed its new line of breakfast sandwiches. They sold lots of Baconsters and Porksters...

...but almost nobody ordered the Hamster.
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Old 21-01-2020, 10:51   #8336
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I saw a bird today. It was eating a gluten free bagel.

It must be a Millennial Falcon...
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Old 21-01-2020, 13:36   #8337
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Son: Dad, | was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at school.

Dad: What's that?

Son: A big building with lots of kids.
You gotta admit, that award was well deserved!
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Old 21-01-2020, 18:02   #8338
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The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
Son: Dad, | was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at school.



Dad: What's that?



Son: A big building with lots of kids.


That was so perfect. I was straight back to Flying High. (I think it was released as Airplane in other countries.)
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Old 21-01-2020, 20:56   #8339
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Only the Canadians got it and they're too polite to say anything.
Yeah, okay, I confess - I had to google him.....

Happy Birthday Frank!
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Old 22-01-2020, 06:08   #8340
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What did the stoned pirate say to es mate.

“I’ve got acute earring”
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