Cruisers Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 15-01-2020, 15:46   #8161
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,234
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon View Post
Shouldn't that read?
There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony and missed opportunities.
Not if it's an Oxford comma.
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 16:47   #8162
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,662
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanan View Post
This joke for fans of the Oxford comma:

"There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities."
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon View Post
Shouldn't that read?
There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony and missed opportunities.
Try again.

Hint: There being the missed opportunity to use an Oxford comma.
Montanan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 17:12   #8163
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,234
Re: The New Joke Thread

This is funny because it's so true!


It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle, Alabama. And the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100.00 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
(Stay with this..... And pay attention)
The butcher takes the $100.00 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100.00 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100.00 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town now thinks they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.
And that, my friends, is how a "government stimulus package" works!
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 17:49   #8164
Sempre Avanti
 
IslandHopper's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bundaberg Queensland, Australia.....
Boat: 45ft Ketch
Posts: 1,897
Re: The New Joke Thread

Not all of your posts are coming up empty socaldmax, but quite a few are....

__________________
Look out the window, look at the chart, and look at the GPS,.....In that order.
IslandHopper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 17:55   #8165
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: Its in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,206
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
This is funny because it's so true!


It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle, Alabama. And the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100.00 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
(Stay with this..... And pay attention)
The butcher takes the $100.00 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100.00 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100.00 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town now thinks they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.
And that, my friends, is how a "government stimulus package" works!

The problem is, the hotel owner is still out the $100. The customer took the $100 the hooker owed him. He screwed himself.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 18:05   #8166
cruiser

Join Date: Jan 2017
Boat: Retired from CF
Posts: 13,304
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by IslandHopper View Post
Not all of your posts are coming up empty socaldmax, but quite a few are....



Show up fine here
john61ct is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 18:23   #8167
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,516
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
The problem is, the hotel owner is still out the $100. The customer took the $100 the hooker owed him. He screwed himself.

He wasn't screwed. Effectively, he paid the butcher off with what the hooker owed him.
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 18:24   #8168
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,516
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
Show up fine here
Looks like it might be geo-blocking.


I just see what IH sees, with a little blank square.


And following the link behind the square, I get:


Forbidden

You don't have permission to access /invision/uploads/monthly_2020_01/4885.jpeg.a97be6c8af24abfe04edb89ae8d0317d.jpeg on this server.
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 18:38   #8169
Sempre Avanti
 
IslandHopper's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bundaberg Queensland, Australia.....
Boat: 45ft Ketch
Posts: 1,897
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
Show up fine here
Yep, same as i posted, the posts are empty......

Someone else mentioned it a couple of pages back, only seems effect socaldmax's posts.....
__________________
Look out the window, look at the chart, and look at the GPS,.....In that order.
IslandHopper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 19:37   #8170
Registered User
 
transmitterdan's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2011
Boat: Valiant 42
Posts: 6,480
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by IslandHopper View Post
Not all of your posts are coming up empty socaldmax, but quite a few are....



Your ISP is probably blocking these images.
transmitterdan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 19:47   #8171
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: Its in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,206
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
He wasn't screwed. Effectively, he paid the butcher off with what the hooker owed him.
What the hooker paid him was picked up by the prospective customer.
It didn’t go full circle. He’s still out $100.

But it’s still like the government. We the tax payers are like the hotel owner.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 20:01   #8172
Registered User
 
transmitterdan's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2011
Boat: Valiant 42
Posts: 6,480
Re: The New Joke Thread

He owes $100 less than when he started and he is out no cash.
transmitterdan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 22:07   #8173
Registered User
 
GILow's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Boat: Swanson 42
Posts: 7,006
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
What the hooker paid him was picked up by the prospective customer.
It didnt go full circle. Hes still out $100.

But its still like the government. We the tax payers are like the hotel owner.


No, hes not out $100.

It helps to think of his initial NET position. He owed $100, but he was also owed $100. So his net position was zero.

Which is exactly where he ended up.

And the visitor was not like the government at all. The visitor actually played the part of the banks, introducing liquidity into the financial equation.

Which is why governments get VERY anxious when banks get into trouble, because without the liquidity they supply, economies lock up and end up sitting on their own hands.

Ive got to stop having lunch with economists.
__________________
Launch delayed.
GILow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 22:11   #8174
Registered User
 
Reefmagnet's Avatar

Join Date: May 2008
Location: puɐןsuǝǝnb 'ʎɐʞɔɐɯ
Boat: Nantucket Island 33
Posts: 4,067
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GILow View Post
No, hes not out $100.

It helps to think of his initial NET position. He owed $100, but he was also owed $100. So his net position was zero.

Which is exactly where he ended up.

And the visitor was not like the government at all. The visitor actually played the part of the banks, introducing liquidity into the financial equation.

Which is why governments get VERY anxious when banks get into trouble, because without the liquidity they supply, economies lock up and end up sitting on their own hands.

Ive got to stop having lunch with economists.

Had the actual government been involved, the hotel owner would have been left with $20 to return to his prospect.


Taxes and all that...
Reefmagnet is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 15-01-2020, 23:40   #8175
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 694
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
This is funny because it's so true!


It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle, Alabama. And the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100.00 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
(Stay with this..... And pay attention)
The butcher takes the $100.00 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100.00 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100.00 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town now thinks they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.
And that, my friends, is how a "government stimulus package" works!
first time i heard this one it was a german tourist in greece

still a good yarn though !

cheers,
chrisr is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 23:38.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.