Cruisers Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 23-12-2019, 00:04   #7861
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:21   #7862
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:22   #7863
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:24   #7864
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:25   #7865
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:38   #7866
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:43   #7867
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 00:45   #7868
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 01:03   #7869
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New York, New York
Boat: Dufour Safari 27'
Posts: 1,488
Re: The New Joke Thread

Click image for larger version

Name:	i-am-here-for-you-thanks-im-going-through-29636240.png
Views:	206
Size:	69.0 KB
ID:	205549
ArmyDaveNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 01:25   #7870
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

This isn't a joke, but the funny thing is, I found this picture on Facebook.

The guy on the left in the blue shirt and shorts is the last CO of my first boat, doing a double re-enlistment at what looks like the edge of the Grand Canyon. To say he was a very relaxed, outstanding sub CO would be an understatement. Everyone gave 100% in an effort not to disappoint him.

After about 2 yrs onboard, I became Leading Petty Officer of the Electronics Division on the boat. One of the ETs who worked for me was JP, who looked exactly like the CO from behind when we were at sea wearing our poopy suits. The CO was supposed to wear a khaki colored belt with his blue poopy suit, but he felt it clashed, so he wore a black belt with it and looked like all of the enlisted men.

One afternoon, he came up to control and stood in front of the Nav. chart, where JP would normally be standing watch. Meanwhile, our big, fat, hairy, bare bellied cook nicknamed "McNasty" took a break and came up to control to see what was going on.

Seeing what he thought was JP from behind, he smacked and grabbed a big old handful of ass cheek and the CO jumped and spun around. McNasty about sh*t himself when he realized he'd just sexually assaulted the CO of the boat! He said, "I'm so sorry sir! I thought you were someone else!"

The CO replied, "Obviously. I didn't think you intended to do that to me. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

McNasty said, "Nice ass?"

The CO started laughing so hard, the rest of us came over to see what was so funny, and the CO told us the whole story.


The CO had a 12 seat airplane and every weekend, he would fly 12 crew members with him from Vallejo down to San Diego to see our wives. He posted up a sign up sheet every Wed. and only charged $20 per person to help with fuel costs.

Every Friday morning, he would make this announcement: "We are going to take off at noon today and we'll be departing San Diego at about 6 pm on Sun., weather permitting. If weather delays us, don't worry about being U.A. because I know where you are, you're with me!"

When I re-enlisted, the yeomen said they had my contract and everything was in order. Shore duty in HI and a bonus of $20,000, they'd get the check tomorrow.

The CO stopped everything and said, "I want you to know in advance, the Navy is only giving you 50% now, after taxes the check is only going to be $7500. The rest of it will come in 3 annual installments of only $2500 ea. I won't let you sign anything until the check is here and in your hands." At that point, he ordered one of the yeomen to go get the check from PSD now, which they did, then we did the re enlistment ceremony.

Those orders as an advanced electronics instructor and later Instructor Training Instructor changed the entire trajectory of my life. Five years later, for the last 6 months of my career, I received offers from 3 different defense contractors in a bidding war to come work for them.

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 03:02   #7871
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,286
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 03:18   #7872
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South Australia
Boat: Wilderness 1100
Posts: 48
Re: The New Joke Thread

That is a great yarn.
I spent a fabulous year there in Vallejo in the 70's, with regular weekends driving to San Diego which I loved. One of my favorite cities.

There was a sub mariners bar off base somewhere which I and a few mates frequented after school, which was an absolute hoot. Many tall tales and lies were told with much frivolity and friendship. You yanks though, never did understand the dangers of Drop-bears. Quite unique to Australia.
scaredycat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 10:24   #7873
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,210
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredycat View Post
That is a great yarn.
I spent a fabulous year there in Vallejo in the 70's, with regular weekends driving to San Diego which I loved. One of my favorite cities.

There was a sub mariners bar off base somewhere which I and a few mates frequented after school, which was an absolute hoot. Many tall tales and lies were told with much frivolity and friendship. You yanks though, never did understand the dangers of Drop-bears. Quite unique to Australia.

Ah, that was most likely "Horse & Cow 33-1/3". The bartender was named Mike.

It was THE sub bar until about 1998, when the base no longer had any subs. They also opened up a new place down in San Diego around 1990 and moved half of the sub memorabilia down there. Then sometime later, Mike's GF took it over and turned it into a yuppie bar, so Mike and Jimmy moved the H&C to Guam and opened one up in Bremerton as well.

I've been to the original Vallejo and the San Diego locations quite a few times, never been to the Guam or Bremerton locations. Lots of crazy stuff used to happen in those bars!
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 11:20   #7874
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Boat: Formosa 41
Posts: 830
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Lots of crazy stuff used to happen in those bars!
Go on....
Jason Flare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-12-2019, 11:27   #7875
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Nice, France
Boat: Hunter Marine 38
Posts: 927
Re: The New Joke Thread

Yes, go on ......
sailormed is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:57.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.