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Old 04-12-2019, 07:25   #7606
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Re: The New Joke Thread

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will understand this.
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:26   #7607
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Christmas Pro Tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree.

When your kids act up, throw one in the fireplace.
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:32   #7608
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will understand this.



That's a Rational Conclusion
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:47   #7609
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Smith was a man of facts, data, a scientist, a computer jock, and a confirmed atheist. He became obsessed with the desire to prove the truth. He mortgaged his house, cashed in all his retirement accounts, and put a down payment on the most advanced most powerful AI computer in the world.

He plugged it into every data bank in the world, accessed every library in the US and Europe, and had it scan every book not yet digitized since scribes started printing books.

Finally after 10 years of focused, single minded effort, he sat down at the keyboard, took a deep breath, and typed, "Is there a God?"

The monitor dimmed for a moment and then up on the screen came the words, "There is now."
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:26   #7610
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
Christmas Pro Tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree.



When your kids act up, throw one in the fireplace.
Wow, talk about old-school parenting style.

I suppose OK as long as you start out with lots of kids, but. . .
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:11   #7611
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Hopefully after the first one goes up in flames, the rest of them wise up fast. Whichever kid(s) don't, throw that one in next.
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:43   #7612
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Age doesn't make you forgetful. Having way too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful.
***

Getting into a relationship might seem like a good idea but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.
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Remember, when you are dead you do not know that you are dead.
It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:28   #7613
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Breaking News

Google's NEW* Opt Out feature and policy!






(* "Opt Out" feature first posted in 2009 but some CF users might be too young -
or too old - to remember.)
.
That's kind of spooky... since then Google has built an ever-expanding complex in our remote mountain village that looks almost like that. Nobody really knows what goes on inside, but there are big plumes of "steam" coming out of it.
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Old 04-12-2019, 13:34   #7614
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Cooling towers from a server rack farm. I bet near a cheap source of electricity, they're paying a tiny fraction per kWh compared to other local businesses.

Maybe even generating their own.

Plus huge subsidies in the form of tax breaks. . .
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Old 04-12-2019, 13:46   #7615
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Cooling towers from a server rack farm. I bet near a cheap source of electricity, they're paying a tiny fraction per kWh compared to other local businesses.

Maybe even generating their own.

Plus huge subsidies in the form of tax breaks. . .
They've basically replaced an aluminum smelter that used to be a direct-service customer (no transmission loss) for the local hydroelectric dam. But they've had to double and quadruple the substation since then.

The local joke is, "That's what happens when you delete a gmail."

Wow, the internet doesn't have any good pictures. I'll have to snap one next time I drive over the top of the hill. This was "phase one." It's about ten times that much now.
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Old 04-12-2019, 14:41   #7616
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Hopefully after the first one goes up in flames, the rest of them wise up fast. Whichever kid(s) don't, throw that one in next.
https://youtu.be/vMxXjvSY8yc
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Old 04-12-2019, 15:48   #7617
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Andrew will go on a state visit of Parisian road tunnels later this week
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Old 04-12-2019, 16:51   #7618
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Probably been up before but ...................
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Old 04-12-2019, 21:37   #7619
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 05-12-2019, 18:06   #7620
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Re: The New Joke Thread

To assure victory in upcoming negotiations with the USA, the DPRK is rapidly absorbing and/or adapting to American culture. For example: blending western music with local dance steps.
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