Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 29-11-2019, 10:00   #7561
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,072
Re: The New Joke Thread

/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ I'd stay away from the stuffing.
__________________

socaldmax is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 13:15   #7562
Moderator
 
Jim Cate's Avatar

Join Date: May 2008
Location: cruising SW Pacific
Boat: Jon Sayer 1-off 46 ft fract rig sloop strip plank in W Red Cedar
Posts: 16,525
Re: The New Joke Thread

In the Aussie vernacular, this is what "stuffing the turkey" really means!

Jim
__________________

__________________
Jim and Ann s/v Insatiable II lying Port Cygnet again, freezing our bums off.
Jim Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 15:03   #7563
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

We produce 48% more carbon emissions today, than we did in the 1980s; but that figure could easily be halved, if we just divide it by two.
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 15:03   #7564
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

#Meanwhile In Russia Anekdot - dark humor.


The Russian words krem (cream) and Krym (Crimea) are not perfect homophones but are close enough, as are kolyaska (a baby carriage) and Alyaska (Alaska). Hence the joke in which the former Olympic-champion gymnast Alina Kabaeva, widely rumored to be Putin’s girlfriend and the mother of his child, calls her mother in a panic. "I swear I asked him for krem, not Krym," she says. "And now I am afraid to even mention a kolyaska!"
***

On the Estonian border, another anekdot goes, a border guard is filling out Putin’s entry form.

“Occupation?” the officer asks. “Not today,” Putin replies. “Just tourism.”
***

Although Putin is ineligible to run again after his current term runs out in 2024, many anekdoty suggest that he will not leave. Here’s one:

“Do you think Putin will ever relinquish the presidency?”

“Of course!”

“When?”

“Immediately after the coronation!”
***

Gotta go.....
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 17:40   #7565
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,297
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
On the Estonian border, another anekdot goes, a border guard is filling out Putin’s entry form.

“Occupation?” the officer asks. “Not today,” Putin replies. “Just tourism.”
***

Last time I heard that it was Angela Merkel visiting Greece
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 18:30   #7566
Moderator
 
a64pilot's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Jacksonville/ out cruising
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 31,096
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
Last time I heard that it was Angela Merkel visiting Greece


Ah, yes, but more would understand it if you said Poland.
a64pilot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 20:06   #7567
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 574
Re: The New Joke Thread

thought for today...

"An apple a day will keep anyone away...if thrown hard enough"


(with apologies to all the dentists out there)

cheers,
chrisr is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 20:56   #7568
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,072
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 20:59   #7569
Registered User
 
Jon Hacking's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Currently cruising the Philippines, just got back from PNG & Solomons
Boat: Wauquiez 45' (now 48') catamaran
Posts: 735
Images: 1
Send a message via Skype™ to Jon Hacking
Re: The New Joke Thread

We knew a cruising dentist many years ago. His card read:

Candy is dandy, but sex won't rot your teeth!
__________________
-- Jon Hacking s/v Ocelot
Jon Hacking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-11-2019, 22:53   #7570
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

People should really stop uploading their photos to social media.
You never know where they might end up being used. Like this guy...
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Driver icense.jpg
Views:	261
Size:	14.0 KB
ID:	204010  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-11-2019, 06:09   #7571
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-11-2019, 08:02   #7572
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-11-2019, 08:31   #7573
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Orefield, PA
Boat: Catalina 25
Posts: 152
Re: The New Joke Thread

Me: What's the difference the between ignorance and apathy?
My teenage daughter: I don't know and I don't care.
JoeRobertJr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-11-2019, 16:18   #7574
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Overheard at the pub:

"I've been in storms so bad, the seagulls were wearing life jackets !!
.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	snoopy.jpg
Views:	214
Size:	117.4 KB
ID:	204060  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-11-2019, 16:19   #7575
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

5,4,3,2,1
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	solar-panels.jpg
Views:	261
Size:	192.2 KB
ID:	204061  
__________________

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:06.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.