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27-11-2019, 19:03
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#7546
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: New England. USA.
Boat: McCurdy & Rhodes Custom 46
Posts: 1,474
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Denier is the weight in grams of 9000 meters of fiber, yarn, tow, thread etc.
not political at all.
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27-11-2019, 19:41
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#7547
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
NFOMCL - Pay that! That's funny!
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28-11-2019, 04:02
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#7548
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: Haven't seen it yet. Bought on Ebay
Posts: 1,214
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Re: The New Joke Thread
When two meth addicts start seeing one another, is it speed dating or meth to be?
__________________
If you FEEL like you have been heard. You definitely weren't listening,
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28-11-2019, 04:26
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#7549
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 49,139
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Re: The New Joke Thread
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
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28-11-2019, 04:50
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#7550
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 40
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by dfelsent
Denier is the weight in grams of 9000 meters of fiber, yarn, tow, thread etc.
not political at all.
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Bob Denier was a gold glove center fielder for the 1984 ChiCubs and also played for the Phillies
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28-11-2019, 06:56
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#7551
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,980
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Re: The New Joke Thread
A man Runs Over a woman's Cat. Mortified, he picks up the cats body and knocks on the woman's door.
Seeing the cat, she bursts into tears.
"I'm sorry." Said the man, "I didn't see him until it was too late."
Feeling bad for the distraught woman shedding tears, he tries to make it right.
"I'd like to replace your cat." He said.
Wiping tears away with a glimmer of hope in her eyes, she replies, "Well OK, but you need to be good at catching mice?"
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28-11-2019, 15:08
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#7552
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon
When two meth addicts start seeing one another, is it speed dating or meth to be?
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Do they immediately hit the sack, or continue meth debating..??
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28-11-2019, 17:05
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#7553
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Catagory: Don't sugarcoat it, just tell me what you think.
Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper?
Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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28-11-2019, 17:09
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#7554
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
To quote another contributer: "at least 5 characters".
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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28-11-2019, 17:12
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#7555
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Sexism and the PC culture be darned....
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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28-11-2019, 17:25
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#7556
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Addendum to post 7555.
To the feminists: Yes, i explicity said old guys, not old people.
To the PC culturists: Yes, I specifically claimed that old guys rule, as in "rule the roost" as a cock rules the henhouse.
My tea mug...
.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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28-11-2019, 17:29
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#7557
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,829
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Another addendum: Well, I told you I fish....
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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28-11-2019, 17:33
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#7558
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
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Re: The New Joke Thread
So, where's your proof Long John Homes ever owned a henhouse??
Far as I am aware, he's the only bloke ever claimed his was as long as a ruler.
Oh. Sorry. I get it now.
Was off on a tangent, contemplating the chaos that would ensue if I waved mine in the henhouse. More likely to be attacked under the impression said member was a large worm-type delicacy.
Takes the expression "hen-pecked" to a whole new level....
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28-11-2019, 18:00
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#7559
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Seattle Area
Boat: Catalina 36
Posts: 178
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Did you know the definition for Locomotive is a crazy reason for doing it.
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29-11-2019, 08:56
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#7560
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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