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Old 27-11-2019, 20:03   #7546
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Denier is the weight in grams of 9000 meters of fiber, yarn, tow, thread etc.
not political at all.
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Old 27-11-2019, 20:41   #7547
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Re: The New Joke Thread

NFOMCL - Pay that! That's funny!
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Old 28-11-2019, 05:02   #7548
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Re: The New Joke Thread

When two meth addicts start seeing one another, is it speed dating or meth to be?
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Old 28-11-2019, 05:26   #7549
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-11-2019, 05:50   #7550
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dfelsent View Post
Denier is the weight in grams of 9000 meters of fiber, yarn, tow, thread etc.
not political at all.
Bob Denier was a gold glove center fielder for the 1984 ChiCubs and also played for the Phillies
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Old 28-11-2019, 07:56   #7551
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A man Runs Over a woman's Cat. Mortified, he picks up the cats body and knocks on the woman's door.

Seeing the cat, she bursts into tears.

"I'm sorry." Said the man, "I didn't see him until it was too late."

Feeling bad for the distraught woman shedding tears, he tries to make it right.

"I'd like to replace your cat." He said.

Wiping tears away with a glimmer of hope in her eyes, she replies, "Well OK, but you need to be good at catching mice?"
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Old 28-11-2019, 16:08   #7552
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon View Post
When two meth addicts start seeing one another, is it speed dating or meth to be?

Do they immediately hit the sack, or continue meth debating..??

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Old 28-11-2019, 18:05   #7553
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Catagory: Don't sugarcoat it, just tell me what you think.

Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper?

Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.
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Old 28-11-2019, 18:09   #7554
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Re: The New Joke Thread

To quote another contributer: "at least 5 characters".
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Old 28-11-2019, 18:12   #7555
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Sexism and the PC culture be darned....
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Old 28-11-2019, 18:25   #7556
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Addendum to post 7555.

To the feminists: Yes, i explicity said old guys, not old people.

To the PC culturists: Yes, I specifically claimed that old guys rule, as in "rule the roost" as a cock rules the henhouse.

My tea mug...
.
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Old 28-11-2019, 18:29   #7557
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Another addendum: Well, I told you I fish....
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Old 28-11-2019, 18:33   #7558
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Re: The New Joke Thread

So, where's your proof Long John Homes ever owned a henhouse??

Far as I am aware, he's the only bloke ever claimed his was as long as a ruler.

Oh. Sorry. I get it now.

Was off on a tangent, contemplating the chaos that would ensue if I waved mine in the henhouse. More likely to be attacked under the impression said member was a large worm-type delicacy.

Takes the expression "hen-pecked" to a whole new level....
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Old 28-11-2019, 19:00   #7559
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Did you know the definition for Locomotive is a crazy reason for doing it.
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Old 29-11-2019, 09:56   #7560
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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