Cruisers Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 19-11-2019, 05:01   #7456
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,284
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

The art of politics.
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 05:13   #7457
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,284
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:46   #7458
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

My wife left me a note saying I should try out for "American Idle."

But the joke is on her because she spelled it wro--- hey, wait a minute!





Yes, that's a repost. No, I don't care. I'm just trying to fill the void while me, socaldmax and a few others come up with new material. Meanwhile, I'd bet that everone would appreciate it if some of you looky-loos would offer a few contributions to the thread! C'mon! What could go wrong?
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:47   #7459
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong?
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong 01.jpg
Views:	189
Size:	73.9 KB
ID:	203429  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:49   #7460
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong 2
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 02.jpg
Views:	183
Size:	53.1 KB
ID:	203431  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:50   #7461
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

What could possibly go wrong? 3
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 05.jpg
Views:	269
Size:	137.2 KB
ID:	203432  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:50   #7462
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong 4
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 04.jpg
Views:	263
Size:	25.4 KB
ID:	203433  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:53   #7463
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong 5
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 03.png
Views:	203
Size:	180.2 KB
ID:	203435  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:53   #7464
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong 6
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 06.jpg
Views:	204
Size:	10.8 KB
ID:	203436  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:55   #7465
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong 7
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 07.jpg
Views:	200
Size:	384.7 KB
ID:	203437  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 17:56   #7466
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Go wrong 7.5
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wrong - 07.jpeg
Views:	198
Size:	61.1 KB
ID:	203438  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 18:08   #7467
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Dear Murphy's Law:

When I asked if my day could get any worse it was a rhetorical question... NOT a challenge!

Sincerely, Karen
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 20:06   #7468
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2016
Boat: McCurdy & Rhodes Custom 46
Posts: 669
Re: The New Joke Thread

A scientist doing research on dolphins discovered that if he fed them a certain type of sea gull, they did not age at all. He kept his secret (and the dolphins) for many years, collecting all the sea gulls he could find while the dolphins continued to live forever, unchanged.

One day he went to the beach looking for more sea gulls, but there were none to be found. He had captured them all. So he went to the zoo, where he had heard that they kept a few specimens. He found their cage, snatched several chicks from their nest, and tried to beat a hasty exit from the zoo. On the way out, he snuck through the lion enclosure. Tiptoeing gingerly over a sleeping lion towards the door and freedom, he was immediately arrested and thrown in prison. The charge?

Wait for it......

Transporting underage gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
dfelsent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 20:30   #7469
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

One time my wife and I went on a ski trip. And, yeah, I got hit in the head with a ski lift chair. Knocked unconcious; blood everywhere. Snow patrol took me down the slope, then ambulance to hospital. Humiliating, okay?

So I survived (You're reading this, no?) and I filed a claim with my insurance company. The adjuster laughed and said "Got hit in the head with a moving skilift chair? Boy, you must be some kind of stupid" - and then denied the claim! I wanted to know why! Shouted out that it was an accident!

He said "I told you why: you're stupid. Must have been like that all your life, and we don't cover pre-existing conditions."

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-11-2019, 21:09   #7470
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Got 39 mins for some comedy? No profanity, non-racist, non-sexist, non-xenophobic, non-political, non-technophobic comedy?

Edit: The ski lift accident I posted above was (ahem) borrowed from this clip.

Anyway, here you go:
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:49.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.