An Irish Tragedy:
We open on an an Irish lane. Ten-year-old Jimmy O'Reilly is sitting at the side, weeping copiously.
A neighbour passing by sees the boy's misery and asks, " Jimmy, what's the matter?"
Jimmy looks up with a tear-streaked face. "Me father's been killed in a car accident
"That's terrible. I'm so sorry. Can I help you home to your mother?" replies the neighbour.
"Ah, that's the tragedy of it all," says Jimmy. "She was with him in the car. They're both dead."
Nonplused, the neighbour thinks a moment. "Well, I can take you over to your sister Mary's house. How about that?"
"Ah no, sorr, you're very kind, but Mary died of the TB a month ago,"*Jimmy says, with a fresh burst of tears.
"Well, your brother, John, Surely he can come and take you," the neighbour tries, but again he's greeted with tears.
"Sorr, did ye no' hear about the massive storm that sank the fishing
fleet last week? John was following the shoals of herring and has not come back."
At his wit's end, the neighbour finally says "Well, this is a fine kettle of fish
and no mistake. But you can't sit here all day. Shall I fetch Father O'Malley?"
Jimmy looks up sadly. "Sorr, you're being very kind but at a time like this, the last thing on my mind is sex."
Let's see. That's the Irish and the Catholics offended. I'll try to fit the rest of you in later.