Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 15-11-2019, 09:55   #7411
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 09:56   #7412
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 09:57   #7413
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 09:58   #7414
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

I would have guessed NSA...

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 10:00   #7415
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 10:01   #7416
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 10:09   #7417
Registered User
 
Connemara's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada
Boat: Mirage 27 in Toronto; Wright 10 in Auckland
Posts: 742
Images: 2
Re: The New Joke Thread

An Irish Tragedy:

We open on an an Irish lane. Ten-year-old Jimmy O'Reilly is sitting at the side, weeping copiously.

A neighbour passing by sees the boy's misery and asks, " Jimmy, what's the matter?"

Jimmy looks up with a tear-streaked face. "Me father's been killed in a car accident."

"That's terrible. I'm so sorry. Can I help you home to your mother?" replies the neighbour.

"Ah, that's the tragedy of it all," says Jimmy. "She was with him in the car. They're both dead."

Nonplused, the neighbour thinks a moment. "Well, I can take you over to your sister Mary's house. How about that?"

"Ah no, sorr, you're very kind, but Mary died of the TB a month ago,"*Jimmy says, with a fresh burst of tears.

"Well, your brother, John, Surely he can come and take you," the neighbour tries, but again he's greeted with tears.

"Sorr, did ye no' hear about the massive storm that sank the fishing fleet last week? John was following the shoals of herring and has not come back."

At his wit's end, the neighbour finally says "Well, this is a fine kettle of fish and no mistake. But you can't sit here all day. Shall I fetch Father O'Malley?"

Jimmy looks up sadly. "Sorr, you're being very kind but at a time like this, the last thing on my mind is sex."


Let's see. That's the Irish and the Catholics offended. I'll try to fit the rest of you in later.

Connemara
Connemara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 12:23   #7418
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 12:24   #7419
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 12:57   #7420
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Majority of men admit that their ultimate sexual fantasy is having two women at one time. Me too. Talked about it with my wife - and she agreed! Then she got all hissy when I said that she wouldn't be one of them.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 15:05   #7421
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Majority of men admit that their ultimate sexual fantasy is having two women at one time. Me too. Talked about it with my wife - and she agreed! Then she got all hissy when I said that she wouldn't be one of them.
That joke is just plain wrong. On so many levels!

1) Stereo-typical assumptions. For example: The wife agreed with having two women in bed - maybe two other women and excluding the husband.

2) Derogatory-sexism: Using the term "got all hissy" is male-code for otherwise inexplicable female reactions, in that while cats might have been considered as gods in ancient Egypt we live in more enlightened times. Sort of. While the Bible, the Quran and the Torah vie for supremacy, our boat cat sure acts like she's a goddess.

3) "Majority of men" presupposes an assumption: that in these days of zero-privacy of social media and major corporations vacumming up every little detail of everybody's life and sharing that info betwixt each other and selling that info to anybody who'll pay cash, that so many men, in such an environment, would voluntarily admit to such a desire merely supports the unsuportable theory that men are stupid. C'mon! Anecdotes aside, where's the proof that men.... Excuse me... Anybody remember if I filed my tax papers this year?

4) Addemdum to #3: What man in his right mind would admit - actually admit to his wife - that his ideal sexual threesome wouldn't include her? I mean c'mon... a joke is a joke but that stretches the bounds of believabilty!
Can you say d-i-v-o-r-c-e, or a-l-i-m-o-n-y?

5) That you're even reading this whole thing shows that you're willing to accept the premisis of the main statement - excepting that this whole thing is "a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline" - otherwise known as a joke.

Punchline to follow, as I see my wife is pulling on her boxing gloves.
.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	punchline.jpg
Views:	155
Size:	25.9 KB
ID:	203163  
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 15:46   #7422
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,053
Re: The New Joke Thread

Ah! ......the simple pleasures of the Filipino female culture, where discretion far outweighs any judgements on whether a pleasurable arrangement between more than two people is wrong.

The women work hard to keep their men "relaxed".
Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 17:50   #7423
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

On that note...


socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 18:24   #7424
Registered User
 
ben2go's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Upstate, SC USA
Boat: 45' Teign Luxe Motor
Posts: 143
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Majority of men admit that their ultimate sexual fantasy is having two women at one time. Me too. Talked about it with my wife - and she agreed! Then she got all hissy when I said that she wouldn't be one of them.

That was fun when I was young. Now it's just to much like work.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Ah! ......the simple pleasures of the Filipino female culture, where discretion far outweighs any judgements on whether a pleasurable arrangement between more than two people is wrong.

The women work hard to keep their men "relaxed".

Or so I've heard. May be the next stop on my list.


Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
On that note...



That's gross unless it's one you're own.








I was in and argument with my lady while driving. I demanded her to tell me I'm right. After a few minutes she yelled," Your right! Now turn around."
__________________
Go with Flo. She's Progressive.
ben2go is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2019, 18:59   #7425
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Connemara View Post
.
Let's see. That's the Irish and the Catholics offended. I'll try to fit the rest of you in later.

Connemara
Ooh! Ooh! Can anybody play? Please !?!?!?

CULTURE:

In America only the successful author is important,
in France all writers are important,
in England no writer is important,
in Australia you have to explain what a writer is ....




Preview of next week's "TED talk":

In Asia (China, Japan, elsewhere) they appreciate calligraphy as an art form; it's literally translated as "beautiful writing". I got that from the internet so it must be true. So an original sonnet by Shakespeare written in that tedious longhand English takes second place to a bordello-inspired lymric elegently written using Chinese calligraphy.
__________________

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 18:12.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.