Down to the pub the other night in New Mexico and this US Border Patrol officer was chatting and joking around with a reporter over a few beers.
Officer: You want to hear a Border Patrol joke? Okay...
Reporter: Who's there?
R: On what?
O: On the floor, m'ther blankér, and keep your hands where I can see em!
(Couple of beer
O: I caught so many illegal aliens trying to cross the border today I threw back two undersized Guatamalans. Guatmalans are small! It's true! They're like the leprechans of Central America!
Couple of swigs later...
O: Not all illegal Latin Americans are Mexican, of course. There's different kinds, you know? There's Cuban Mexicans and Honduran Mexicans and Costa Rica
Mexicans, Nicaraguan Mexicans...
O: Okay, Cubans are Mexicans with boats.
R: What about Columbians?
O: Oh, no. I don't eff with Columbians. I don't get in their way. They got cocaine and coffee! They can stay up all night long thinking of weird ways to eff you up! No, no... Columbians are real nice people... I leave em alone.
O: The world is changing, my friend. Why, did you know that right up until around 2017, the state constitution of New Mexico barred idiots from voting? Yup. Article VII, § 1, right there in black and white. But they changed it now. Might have been something about the 2016 vote but I'm not really sure.
Anyway... I don't want to talk politics over beer
where people can hear, so let's move on over to that corner table.
Begin countdown clock... Five... four... three...