The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by john61ct

autoerotic asphyxiation is an apt metaphor for the political zeitgeist

fun but very risky

Yeah, if a bunch of old pervs were yankin and chokin, it's best they do it in closed door meetings.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by Freedom45

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar.

The bartender says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”

Another jumper cable joke:

Im thinking of getting you jumper cables for Christmas.

Why?

Because you're always starting sh*t!

[svmariane]

Autoerotic? The lady with the elephant?
Nah... that's foreplay between two consenting adults.

(That was a joke, people. Chiill.)

[socaldmax]

Nothing more annoying than stale nachos...

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All of the married guys nod silently...

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[john61ct]

You're right, take private autos out of the picture (please)

Originally Posted by svmariane

The lady with the elephant?

Nah... that's foreplay between two consenting adults.

They were right, since we won the battle for legal marriage for The Gays, now's the time to campaign for inter-species relationship equality.

LGBTQI now add B for Besties!

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[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by Glenn C

"Man who cut off 52yo's testicle in Port Macquarie motel room was just trying to help, court hears"

Man who cut off 52yo's testicle in Port Macquarie motel room was just trying to help, court hears - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

OK, so I'm not 52, I'm 57, and Port Macquarie is more than half an hour away.

And, no, I don't do gender reassignment surgeries. Thanks for asking.


Hadn't seen this one before. Must have missed that episode of the local 'news'.

Lost his job, life destroyed, and all for wanting to 'help'.

He's the bloke they took "gullible" out of the dictionary for...

[socaldmax]