For those who might be new to the joke thread: Anything that I post here should be considered as realistic as a treaty with Freedonia.
Now grab a drink of your preference, then continue reading.
In most industries, what you see is what you get. For example, the following conversation might take place in a hardware store:
Customer: "Hi, how much is your paint
Clerk: "$12 a litre for regular, $18 for premium. How much do you need?
Customer: "Five litres of regular, please."
Clerk: "That'll be $60."
But what if the paint shop is run by an airline? The conversation would go something like this:
Customer: "How much is your paint?"
Clerk: "Well sir, that all depends."
Customer: "Depends on what?"
Clerk: "Well, there are lots of things."
Customer: "How about giving me an average price
Clerk: "Wow! That's too hard a question. The lowest price
is $9 a litre and we have 150 prices up to $200 a litre.
Customer: "What's the difference in the paint?"
Clerk: "Oh, there isn't any difference. It's the same paint."
Customer: "Then I'd like some of the $9 paint."
Clerk: "Well, first I'd need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?"
Customer: "I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off."
Clerk: "Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint."
Customer: "What! When would I have to paint to get the $9 paint?"
Clerk: "In 3 weeks. But you'll have to start painting before Saturday that week and continue painting until at least Sunday."
Customer: "You've got to be kidding."
Clerk: "Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available."
Customer: "You have shelves full of the stuff. I can see it."
Clerk: "Just because you can see it doesn't mean we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of litres on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12."
Customer: "What! The price rose while we were talking?"
Clerk: "Yes sir. You see, we change prices and rules hundreds of times a day. Since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. How many litres do you want?"
Customer: "I don't know exactly, maybe five. Perhaps I should buy six litres just to make sure I have enough."
Clerk: "Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then don't use it you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have."
Clerk: "We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, hall, bathroom and bedroom. But if you stop painting before you do the bedroom you will be in violation of our pricing policy."
Customer: "What does it matter to you whether I use all of the paint if I've already paid for it?"
Clerk: "Sir, there is no point in getting upset. That's just the way it is."
Customer: "Well, that does it. I'm going somewhere else."
Clerk: "Won't do any good sir. We all have the same rules."
Zen zone zigzagged