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Old 15-09-2019, 08:35   #6556
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 15-09-2019, 10:54   #6557
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Not the Beatles, but definitely on point !


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Old 16-09-2019, 05:07   #6558
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 16-09-2019, 05:35   #6559
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by senormechanico View Post
Not the Beatles, but definitely on point !



I think we should stop the political jokes. I could have started on Trump but that would be too easy.
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Old 16-09-2019, 05:45   #6560
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Oh boy. I felt a little bad while picking on the moderators a couple of pages ago, but this should be out of bounds.

Tell you somethin'. I work as a pilot. We fly around for hours, two at a time, and we HAVE to get along, for everybody's sake. We have a simple rule: No religion. No politics. We are careful about sports teams. We ask each other about kids and hobbies, and that's about it. I don't mind off color jokes, but if we start in on sh!t that is guaranteed to piss off half the forum, then this thread should be closed down right now. Just my opinion.
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Old 16-09-2019, 06:17   #6561
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Mainebristol View Post
Oh boy. I felt a little bad while picking on the moderators a couple of pages ago, but this should be out of bounds.

Tell you somethin'. I work as a pilot. We fly around for hours, two at a time, and we HAVE to get along, for everybody's sake. We have a simple rule: No religion. No politics. We are careful about sports teams. We ask each other about kids and hobbies, and that's about it. I don't mind off color jokes, but if we start in on sh!t that is guaranteed to piss off half the forum, then this thread should be closed down right now. Just my opinion.

What should be out of bounds? Which of the dozens (hundreds?) of politically incorrect posts are you referring to specifically?
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Old 16-09-2019, 06:26   #6562
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The answer to your question is obvious. And like Sand Crab, I could poke fun at Trump, but that would be just shooting fish in a barrel. Plus, it would upset a lot of people, most of whom I respect, and so I refrain. Read in to it what you will.
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Old 16-09-2019, 06:42   #6563
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Here, these are the Rules to the limit of our free speech. The forum is World Wide so we have to respect others laws outside the USA. Pretend youíre pulling into a foreign port.

The forum has been very graceful with us. We All slip up once in awhile. At lease we donít get shadow banned or muted, and just warnings in most cases, BUT plain excommunicated if one goes too far.

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Old 16-09-2019, 07:18   #6564
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by StuM View Post
What should be out of bounds? Which of the dozens (hundreds?) of politically incorrect posts are you referring to specifically?
Exactly, who decides? Chill, it's a joke thread, see it for what it is.
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Old 16-09-2019, 08:11   #6565
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I like to think humor is the great equalizer. Nothing should be taboo. If "my" candidate does something funny, I'll laugh along with you.

I'd hate to see rigid rules here. But I can also see why some propose them.

While it's hard to define "funny," it's easy to see when a "joke" is really nothing more than a political jab.

If an elected official says or does something funny, as members of both parties have, then it should be fair game. No different than if any celebrity did/said something funny.

If you just want to rail against a policy you don't like, that belongs elsewhere.
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Old 16-09-2019, 09:30   #6566
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Re: The New Joke Thread

True (but sad) horse story:

About 20 years ago, the family was in Banff, Alberta, and we decided to go on a day-long trail ride. We found a stable that offered guided tours through the nearby mountains, including a stop for lunch cooked and eaten outdoors.

Getting horses for the wife and me was pretty easy, but they had a bit of trouble finding a horse small enough for my son, who was then 8. But they managed to find a suitable beast, named Bob, and we set off with about six couples, two cowboys leading the way, and a packhorse carrying lunch.

After an hour or so, we crossed a road and followed the side of it for a while, most of us avoiding some rather large puddles. Bob, however, stepped in one and to his evident and noisy dismay found that it was a sinkhole about four feet deep.

My son had alertly jumped off when Bob went in the hole, so he was fine. Bob, on the other hand, was stuck, his forefeet on the edge of the hole and rest of him in the muddy water.

The cowboys pulled Bob's saddle off, one of them got behind and pushed, the other pulled from the front, and after some effort they got Bob out of the hole. He had some scratches on his legs but appeared otherwise okay. So we saddled up and carried on.

A few minutes later, we were back in the woods -- lovely deciduous forest with sunlight dappling through. Then Bob started to stagger. My son jumped off again. Bob lurched down the hill, banging off trees, and fell kicking on his side.

One of the cowboys said quietly to the other: "Would you please take the guests a bit further down the trail?"

A bit further down the trail, my son turned to his mother, an equestrienne of some years standing, and asked how she thought Bob was doing. Her reply: "I think Bob is toast." She said he had probably suffered internal injuries, was bleeding internally, and was being given an injection to put him out of his misery.

And so it was. Eventually, they brought another horse up for my son, this one much bigger, so that his wee legs stuck out. He was. by this time, rather nervous about riding any more, but there was no choice.

After a while, we we stopped at a clearing for lunch. Climbing off my animal and stretching, I commented to the other guests:

"Man, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse ... and I know exactly where there is one."

Oddly, they all moved away from me.

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Old 16-09-2019, 10:30   #6567
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Connemara View Post

"Man, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse ... and I know exactly where there is one."

Oddly, they all moved away from me.

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I laughed, but I think dark humor unless self degrading, needs at least two points of separation.

Bob was family to some
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Old 16-09-2019, 11:35   #6568
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Connemara View Post

"Man, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse ... and I know exactly where there is one."

Oddly, they all moved away from me.

Connemara
I find it the North American attitude on horse meat a bit strange. I find it good. Ate it often in France.
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Old 16-09-2019, 12:04   #6569
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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Old 16-09-2019, 12:09   #6570
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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