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Old 25-08-2019, 15:33   #6301
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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a few good ones I got today................

No doubt about it. It's plain old "wooster sauce" (no shire, Sherlock)
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:21   #6302
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Re: The New Joke Thread

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:22   #6303
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Re: The New Joke Thread

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:23   #6304
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Re: The New Joke Thread

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:24   #6305
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Re: The New Joke Thread

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:24   #6306
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Re: The New Joke Thread

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:27   #6307
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:28   #6308
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
I always saw them as the recreational parts
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Old 25-08-2019, 17:49   #6309
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldnít that be an even number?

Been there before. Not necessarily.
If Jim marries Jane and she dies or they are divorced and he then marries Susie, then three people got married. )
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Old 25-08-2019, 19:15   #6310
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldnít that be an even number?
Either Muslims or Mormons.........
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Old 25-08-2019, 23:32   #6311
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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In a democracy, the people get the government they deserve.
ó Alexis de Tocqueville

Literally true.

Top quality education for all

regardless of location

with much higher government-funded resources for the poorest communities

not just available but pushed hard by the community

Combined with drastically reducing the inflence of the wealthy on our political processes

And drastically curtailing surveillance of our citizens by both corporations and government

Are **all** required together in order to reverse our accelerating headlong plunge into horrific dystopia.

I'm not optimistic.

You left out universal free health care....!!!

And publicly owned not-for-profit banks.

Free drugs (medicines) State-provided.

Ahh. Penny drops. The three largest and best funded lobby groups.

Could that be.....????

Dystopia or dat topia, it's all the same to me! Just another weird lookin' shrub.
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Old 26-08-2019, 08:09   #6312
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 27-08-2019, 04:43   #6313
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 27-08-2019, 07:25   #6314
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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It's no surprise that you don't recognize it. It's believed to be the last remaining example of the supercharged AJS V4 race bike. That is the 1939 version, which is liquid cooled - earlier versions were air cooled and tended to overheat the rear cylinders. It is in the Sammy Miller museum and the rider is the indomitable Sammy Miller himself.

Sorry to interrupt the joke thread.
Worth the interruption! Very cool!
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Old 27-08-2019, 07:27   #6315
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Iím glad thatís over now........
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