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Old 19-08-2019, 19:16   #6241
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 19-08-2019, 19:18   #6242
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 19-08-2019, 19:29   #6243
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 19-08-2019, 19:46   #6244
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
What's the definition of propaganda?

An Australian taking a really good look at something.
Carn! Gedd ova yerseff, ya whang kerr...!!

TRANSLATION:
'propaganda' = proper gander, i.e. 'a good look'

Australians don't speak English, they talk 'Strine, as evidenced by the popular 'dictionary', "Let Stalk Strine" by Professor Afferbeck Lauder.


Go on, google it.....
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Old 19-08-2019, 20:10   #6245
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Re: The New Joke Thread

You can't make this stuff up...

I was looking on craigslist for a sailboat...

Sailing Instructor - $40 (Oceanside)


https://sandiego.craigslist.org/nsd/...960336260.html
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Old 19-08-2019, 20:21   #6246
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Old 19-08-2019, 21:14   #6247
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The fact that there's a Highway to Hell, but only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers
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Old 19-08-2019, 23:22   #6248
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Probably in Oz...

Nope, just another hoax.
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Old 20-08-2019, 03:57   #6249
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Nope, just another hoax.
I dunno... Looks bl--dy similar to something that stomped out of the wheel arch yesterday when I was doing the car brakes.

I didn't stick around to further science, I made for the house and gave it a few hours to get clear.

Australia mate!
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Old 20-08-2019, 05:04   #6250
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by GILow View Post
I dunno... Looks bl--dy similar to something that stomped out of the wheel arch yesterday when I was doing the car brakes.

I didn't stick around to further science, I made for the house and gave it a few hours to get clear.

Australia mate!

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sc...winged-spider/


"The picture of the “winged spider” that accompanies the article is actually a repurposed hoax image that first circulated in 2012, a photograph of an otherwise unremarkable fishing spider from the Carolina Nature web site, onto which someone digitally grafted wings and then superimposed the results into a faux newspaper clipping captioned “Scientist discovers winged spider.”


But there's these:
https://www.theguardian.com/australi...ing-impressive
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Old 20-08-2019, 07:10   #6251
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The New Joke Thread

In SWA there are these things called Camel Spiders that have to be seen to be believed. There is a season for the things, you wake up on morning and they are everywhere.
We caught one and a mouse, put them both in an arena made from the outer shell of an MRE box to see what would happen. The mouse took to a corner staying away from the spider, but pretty soon decided I guess that an offense was the best defense and attacked the spider.
I had to admire that little mouse, brave little bugger.
Anyway the spider tore its head off and began munching on the body of the mouse.
Camel spiders are large and their jaws are up to 1/3 body length, they chew up their victims and when chewing release an enzyme that dissolves it so that after chewing it up, they can eat it.
Scorpions were a real pain, but after seeing a Camel spider you checked your bed and boots really, really well.
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Old 20-08-2019, 07:31   #6252
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Re: The New Joke Thread

So many horror stories in nature are very real, no need to embellish

https://nypost.com/2019/08/13/zombie...aks-out-hiker/
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Old 20-08-2019, 07:40   #6253
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Thereís an old story that still circulates around the Philippines............

Was sitting in the Bar and after several beers had to take a trip to the pisser. As I was peeing I could see a rat backed off in a corner all sweaty and shaking.

I thought WTH and I bent over to see what was wrong with the rat. And up under the sink was a huge cockroach with a straightedge razor.

..........................................
I swear, the cockroaches in PI are the fastest creature I have ever had to chase. Iíve killed some that were 2Ē long, not including the antennas. They have excellent eyesight.
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Old 20-08-2019, 20:28   #6254
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Re: The New Joke Thread

a few good ones I got today
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Old 20-08-2019, 20:30   #6255
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Re: The New Joke Thread

and there was more
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