Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 14-08-2019, 08:31   #6136
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,206
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
I hope this doesn't offend.

Evidently, the El Paso shooter was mad about “Hispanics invading Texas ...”
I guess he didn’t know that Hispanics have been in Texas, since Texas was Mexico.
This just goes to show ya the lack of education (History) our kids are getting in public schools......
__________________

__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:13   #6137
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

Before any of you married guys yell, "Hey honey! You're in the newspaper!"...

__________________

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:16   #6138
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
This just goes to show ya the lack of education (History) our kids are getting in public schools......
Oh, that's absolutely who he was referring to!

Because people always talk about current events from 200 yrs ago!

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:18   #6139
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:20   #6140
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:22   #6141
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

Let's just assume "yes"...

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:23   #6142
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:24   #6143
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:25   #6144
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 09:33   #6145
Registered User
 
Saleen411's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Discovery Bay, CA
Posts: 1,039
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Do you know the secret to making
your wife/spouse SCREAM for at least 15 minutes after having an orgasm?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
........wipe your d*** off on the curtains.
__________________
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore"- Andre' Gide
Saleen411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 10:13   #6146
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,073
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
To be accurate, that's a misrepresentation.

More than 76,000 aliens were apprehended (people apprehended between ports of entry on the Southwest border), or deemed inadmissible, seeking legal entry at a port of entry in February.
Office of Field Operations (OFO at ports of entry) inadmissibility metrics include:
- individuals encountered at ports of entry who are seeking lawful admission into the United States but are determined to be inadmissible
- individuals presenting themselves to seek humanitarian protection under our laws
- individuals who withdraw an application for admission and return to their countries of origin within a short timeframe.

The CBP included both “apprehensions" and "inadmissible arrivals” in their tally of more than 76,000 “encounters.”
Since the CBP data combines people seeking legal entry with those who sought to illegally cross the open border, the claims that 76,000 people crossed the border without authorization would be false.

However, if you subtract the number of migrants who sought entry at a legal port of entry, the remaining 66,450 is still the highest number of migrants apprehended crossing the open border since 2008.

You coulda just said the JOKE wasn't very funny.
Since jokes are very subjective, I'm not going to subjectively claim what is funny or what isn't. We have a long history in this thread for correcting jokes, so I figured I might as well.

As for the inaccuracy of the 76,000 illegals, I'm going to blame https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/05/u...-increase.html

Quote:
More than 76,000 migrants crossed the border without authorization in February, an 11-year high...
My apologies, I forgot that I needed to fact check the NYT.
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 10:55   #6147
cruiser

Join Date: Jan 2017
Boat: Retired from CF
Posts: 13,304
Re: The New Joke Thread

Yes they are very pro-corporate and IMO reactionary right-wing, definitely need just as much fact-checking as those even more so like the WSJ.
john61ct is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 11:42   #6148
Registered User
 
transmitterdan's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2011
Boat: Valiant 42
Posts: 6,304
Re: The New Joke Thread

Tell a joke or don’t hit send....just sayin’
transmitterdan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 12:17   #6149
cruiser

Join Date: Jan 2017
Boat: Retired from CF
Posts: 13,304
Re: The New Joke Thread

Apparently minimum text characters are required

Click image for larger version

Name:	Picture_20190814_151610664.jpg
Views:	206
Size:	205.0 KB
ID:	197873
john61ct is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-08-2019, 12:34   #6150
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Random bits of conversation overheard down to the pub.

(Warning: Contains no pizza jokes. Or the Parrot Sketch.)


It was after several months in prison I finally saw my window of opportunity.
If only I'd remembered that I was on the 3rd floor.

It’s time we put our weapons aside and determine with our fist who will win this fight
- in a ruthless match of rock-paper-scissors.

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says,
“So, do I come here often?”

Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A: A desserter.

I gave up jogging for health reasons. My thighs kept rubbing together
and setting my pantyhose on fire.

My girlfriend walked out on me for being too old fashioned.
I thought we had good alchemy.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything
and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.

I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it
because the thief spends less than my wife.

__________________

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 21:22.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.