 |
|
31-07-2019, 04:32
|
#5971
|
|
Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 49,362
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
“The thing about quotes from the Internet is that it is difficult to define their authenticity.”
~ Abraham Lincoln, 1933
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"
|
|
|
|
31-07-2019, 10:11
|
#5972
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”
I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”
|
|
|
|
|
31-07-2019, 10:12
|
#5973
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour...
I said, “Wait, I can change!"
|
|
|
|
|
31-07-2019, 12:11
|
#5974
|
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Jacksonville/ out cruising
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 31,351
|
The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPA Cate
Oh, Gord,
I'm still wearing thermal underwear I got 30+ yrs. ago! But only when I'm silly enough to go somewhere that feels cold.
Ann
|
I gave all mine to good will. I have no use for it now, but I had a lot of cold weather clothes
|
|
|
|
|
01-08-2019, 23:39
|
#5975
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $1.50.
A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $1.75.
A chicken pie in St Kitts costs $2.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean! 
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
|
|
|
|
|
01-08-2019, 23:59
|
#5976
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPBs
Posts: 12,891
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
But what are the rates for snake and pygmy pies?
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 00:04
|
#5977
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Boat: Still building
Posts: 1,557
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $1.50.
A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $1.75.
A chicken pie in St Kitts costs $2.50. |
...and a chicken pie in Bray (UK) costs about $250
|
|
|
|
|
...but only if it's a Heston Bluementhal 'special'....
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 04:37
|
#5978
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
I was inspired by a church sign that read “Tell someone that they matter”
I pulled my daughter aside and said to her in my most sincere voice: “Unlike energy, you occupy space and possess rest mass.”
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 04:38
|
#5979
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
Schwepped her off her feet.
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 04:39
|
#5980
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,985
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
How should a farmer dress so he doesn't get attacked by his chickens?
Impeccably!
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 09:49
|
#5981
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
__________________
Who knows what is next.
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 09:49
|
#5982
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
__________________
Who knows what is next.
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 09:50
|
#5983
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.
__________________
Who knows what is next.
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 09:51
|
#5984
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
I THOUGHT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.
__________________
Who knows what is next.
|
|
|
|
|
02-08-2019, 10:35
|
#5985
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
|
Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Therapy
I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
|
First kum, first serve.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
|
| Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
 Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
Advertise Here
 Recent Discussions |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Vendor Spotlight |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
