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Old 28-07-2019, 11:56   #5941
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
This is the great thing about getting old. Jokes can be recycled too....
Some times I am too old to do the research.

Explanation link please.
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Old 28-07-2019, 12:09   #5942
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
This is the great thing about getting old. Jokes can be recycled too....
Shhhhush! Or before we know it people will start recycling from the original Joke Thread.
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Old 28-07-2019, 12:39   #5943
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Therapy View Post
Some times I am too old to do the research.

Explanation link please.
Iím with you there.

Itís better to forget and just start over. To hell with the research. Just laugh and stand-on.
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Old 28-07-2019, 13:53   #5944
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therapy View Post
Some times I am too old to do the research.

Explanation link please.
From an old TV show, the Honeymooners.

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Old 28-07-2019, 13:55   #5945
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Re: The New Joke Thread

To the moon Alice I love old tv and movies
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Old 28-07-2019, 14:05   #5946
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Woman walking on the street leading a duck on a leash. Passing drunkard calls out "what are you doing walking with that pig?" Woman answers "it's not a pig, it's a duck" Drunk responds " I was talking to the duck"
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Old 28-07-2019, 18:56   #5947
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench smoking their cigarettes, when suddenly it begins to rain. The first old lady takes out a condom and put it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Second old lady asks: 'what is that? '
First old lady: 'its a condom. '
Second old lady: 'where can i buy one? '
First old lady: 'at the pharmacy. '
So off to the pharmacy she goes to get herself a pack. She walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. The pharmacist quite surprised at the request - because she is over 80 years old - asks her : 'Which size? ' And she replies :'Oh, I don't really care as long as it fits a Camel.

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Old 28-07-2019, 21:40   #5948
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by tao View Post
Woman walking on the street leading a duck on a leash. Passing drunkard calls out "what are you doing walking with that pig?" Woman answers "it's not a pig, it's a duck" Drunk responds " I was talking to the duck"
Hey that pig's someone's mother! https://i.redd.it/655ttlol7n7z.jpg

If that joke confuses you, shows your ageism
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Old 28-07-2019, 22:41   #5949
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to first year medical students. It was not an exciting subject so the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your a--hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably golfing with his buddies."

It took considerable time to restore order in the classroom...

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Old 28-07-2019, 23:03   #5950
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This is logical to some people...

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Old 29-07-2019, 00:14   #5951
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
This is logical to some people...

On the same scheme of things............ I hear there are a lot of sheep in NZ.

To stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers.
Ban sober drivers from driving!
THIS IS HOW gun control WORKS!
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Old 29-07-2019, 03:28   #5952
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I suggest putting a teacher in every gun store.
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Old 29-07-2019, 04:43   #5953
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A woman walks into a drugstore wanting to buy some talcum powder. The clerk, who happens to be bow legged, says "walk this way", as he leads her across the store to the aisle where it's kept. The woman responds "if I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder" (rim shot!)
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Old 29-07-2019, 04:47   #5954
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
Hey that pig's someone's mother!

That's no pig, that's my wife!!
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Old 29-07-2019, 06:05   #5955
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I just watched a documentary on drugs.

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
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