The New Joke Thread

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by john61ct

ZZ Top is the name of the band, has never been the leader's nickname.

But, then which ones Pink?

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by john61ct

ZZ Top is the name of the band, has never been the leader's nickname.

I think he knows that, there was a slight topic shift from the band to Billy Gibbons always having a beard.

What I think is kinda amusing is the drummer's name is Frank Beard and he's the only one without a beard.

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

I think he knows that, there was a slight topic shift from the band to Billy Gibbons always having a beard.

What I think is kinda amusing is the drummer's name is Frank Beard and he's the only one without a beard.

I think it was that the other 2 were jealous of him being named "Beard" so they grew theirs to try and keep up.

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[Saleen411]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Isn't THAT a joke. The other day after not receiving a straw at a drive thru...I drove back and asked for a straw. "OH, well you didn't ASK for a straw!"

WHAT? I can't get a straw anymore unless I specifically ASK for one...."yup"

Geezus.

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Saleen411

Isn't THAT a joke. The other day after not receiving a straw at a drive thru...I drove back and asked for a straw. "OH, well you didn't ASK for a straw!"



WHAT? I can't get a straw anymore unless I specifically ASK for one...."yup"



Geezus.

It’s good logic. If you don’t ask for one you probably didn’t need it. Every bit counts.

Here in South Australia we’ve had a number of these sorts of initiatives in place for decades. It is noticeably less polluted here than in other bits of Australia with similar population loads.

Hang in there, you’ll adjust and see the benefits.

[a64pilot]

I want a straw. Just I don’t see what was wrong with the 1960’s wax paper straw. I think in this case you can have your cake and eat it too, and not by buying and carrying around your own silly glass straw.

[GILow]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I want a straw. Just I don’t see what was wrong with the 1960’s wax paper straw.

Actually, that is ironic, isn't it. Thinking about it now, I would imagine those straws were less polluting than plastic straws. I assume they were scrapped in favour of plastic for reasons of economy or sanitation. Sometimes our best intentions backfire on us.

But seriously, don't want to derail the joke thread with what is basically a political topic, except to say that I live in a place which has been pretty proactive on this stuff, and it shows. South Australia may be a bit of a backwater, but it is a CLEAN backwater.

[mako]

Originally Posted by GILow

... I live in a place which has been pretty proactive on this stuff, and it shows. South Australia may be a bit of a backwater, but it is a CLEAN backwater.

And has gun control that works really well. I'm gunna have to stop making fun of Aussie-land. That place is really cool. I just hated having to drive on the wrong side of the road, other than that and the giant bats, it was a fun visit!

[GILow]

Originally Posted by makobuilders

I just hated having to drive on the wrong side of the road, other than that and the giant bats, it was a fun visit!

Ha ha, I know your pain. My son is in Washington at the moment, having a ball, but getting totally confused by the cars on the wrong side. He keeps sending me photos. I told him about the time I made a U-turn in Palo Alto one night and ended up on the wrong side of the road.

I was fine driving in North America as long as I had someone to follow, but if I didn't.... well, it was not pretty.

Australia... giant bats... yep. Practically a million things in the water or on the beach that try to kill you. Some of the little buggers disguise themselves as rocks just to make sure they get you.

Get away from the water and the list just gets longer.

Don't get me started on drop-bears or hoop-snakes.

[GILow]

Most international visitors probably should take this map with them.

The sharks with lasers is no bloody joke. I swear one went past the other day that made my 42 footer feel like a canoe.

[GILow]

One more, just because...

[Buzzman]

I was in a local cafe the other day and was pleased to note they have gone back to waxed paper straws, individually wrapped in paper. I complemented them on their demonstration of environmental responsibility.

There was a TV doco recently on plastic straws and the damage they do in the oceans, especially to turtles, who often get them up a nostril and then can't remove it, so it gets impacted, infected and kills them.

To understand what this must be like, stick a plastic straw in your nose, then tie your hands behind you so they can't come forward, then attach small cushions to the hands so you have no finger or wrist movement, and THEN try to extract the straw from your nose.

Then, if that still doesn't seem too hard, tie a 2' x 3' piece of 3/4" ply to your back and lie on your stomach and try again....

Who'd be a turtle, eh??

[IslandHopper]

Back to the funny stuff

A woman walks into a chemist shop and tells the pharmacist she wants to buy some arsenic.

He says "What do you want with arsenic?

She says "I want to kill my husband because he cheats on me by having sex with another woman."

The pharmacist says "I can't sell you arsenic so you can kill your husband, even if he is having sex with another woman."

So she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a picture of her husband having sex with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist says "Oh, I didn't realise you had a prescription."