The New Joke Thread

[LakeSuperior]

I told my misses that I was going away for the day to try some fishing
“Are you going alone?” she asked

“Of course not” I replied, “I’m taking Rod and Annette.”



*****



I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes, Y.

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels? "

[IslandHopper]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfLu...ature=youtu.be

[JoeRobertJr]

Artisan Knots - Now I know how we are going to finance our cruising!

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

.....

I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes, Y.

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels? "

“W” she replied.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Adelie

“W” she replied.

Good one[emoji106]

[Adelie]

If the priest had included semi-vowels the list would’ve been longer

[socaldmax]

As a former submariner, this one reminds me of the good old days.

[socaldmax]

I know this isn't a pun or an obscure math joke, but it sure brought a smile to my face. Maybe you guys could endlessly debate the structural engineering.

[Fiveslide]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Maybe you guys could endlessly debate the structural engineering.

Looks like good design practices to me. I'd need an asbuilt survey and on site inspection without the shirt to be sure she was built to plans.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Fiveslide

Looks like good design practices to me. I'd need an asbuilt survey and on site inspection without the shirt to be sure she was built to plans.

We really need an inclining experiment to check stability.

I VOLUNTEER![emoji120]

[Reefmagnet]

Hmmmm, for some odd reason this thread has made me think about motorboating all of a sudden!

[LakeSuperior]

I hesitate to present this one to readers of the CF joke thread.


What's made of leather, is about a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

[LakeSuperior]

My marriage just ended because I didn't open the car door for my wife.

I swam for the surface instead.

[LakeSuperior]

I can't stand idiots that don't know the difference between to and too.

There so stupid.

[Eigenvector]

So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.


When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."


Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.


When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!


As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.


I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.


They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear. I still don't think I looked that bad! I just need to wear underwear more often.