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Old 20-06-2019, 05:46   #5701
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I told my misses that I was going away for the day to try some fishing
“Are you going alone?” she asked

“Of course not” I replied, “I’m taking Rod and Annette.”



*****



I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes, Y.

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels? "
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Old 20-06-2019, 13:33   #5702
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 20-06-2019, 13:45   #5703
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Artisan Knots - Now I know how we are going to finance our cruising!
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Old 21-06-2019, 19:11   #5704
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
.....

I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes, Y.

The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels? "


“W” she replied.
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Old 21-06-2019, 21:35   #5705
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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“W” she replied.
Good one
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Old 21-06-2019, 22:24   #5706
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Re: The New Joke Thread

If the priest had included semi-vowels the list would’ve been longer
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Old 22-06-2019, 00:14   #5707
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Re: The New Joke Thread

As a former submariner, this one reminds me of the good old days.

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Old 22-06-2019, 01:26   #5708
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I know this isn't a pun or an obscure math joke, but it sure brought a smile to my face. Maybe you guys could endlessly debate the structural engineering.

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Old 22-06-2019, 01:53   #5709
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Maybe you guys could endlessly debate the structural engineering.
Looks like good design practices to me. I'd need an asbuilt survey and on site inspection without the shirt to be sure she was built to plans.
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Old 22-06-2019, 06:38   #5710
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Looks like good design practices to me. I'd need an asbuilt survey and on site inspection without the shirt to be sure she was built to plans.
We really need an inclining experiment to check stability.

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Old 22-06-2019, 06:53   #5711
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Hmmmm, for some odd reason this thread has made me think about motorboating all of a sudden!
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Old 22-06-2019, 07:30   #5712
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I hesitate to present this one to readers of the CF joke thread.


What's made of leather, is about a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.
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Old 22-06-2019, 07:31   #5713
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My marriage just ended because I didn't open the car door for my wife.

I swam for the surface instead.
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Old 22-06-2019, 07:33   #5714
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I can't stand idiots that don't know the difference between to and too.

There so stupid.
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Old 22-06-2019, 08:52   #5715
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Re: The New Joke Thread

So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.


When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."


Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.


When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!


As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.


I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.


They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear. I still don't think I looked that bad! I just need to wear underwear more often.
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