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Old 25-05-2019, 06:22   #5551
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.
The radical invents the views.
When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."
~ Mark Twain
Progressives think, they know everything better.
Conservatives know this because of own experience.
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Old 25-05-2019, 06:35   #5552
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Whatever happened to the funny novelty songs, so common in the 1950's and 60's?


“Jeremiah Peabody's Poly Unsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green and Purple Pills”
Written and performed by Ray Stevens (1961)

Do you have that rundown feelin', does your head go reelin'?
Are you nervous, jumpy or on the edge?
Is it neuritis, neuralgia, a head cold or stress?
Or maybe it's your sinus drainage.
Do you have tired blood, beriberi?
Or maybe you're a little overweight?
You better make some correction in all this infection,
Just send in one dollar ninety eight.
Get ridda that runny nose (sniiiff), that naggin' cough (cough), that sneeze (achoo),
That wheeze (gasp) and other injuries.
Take the wonder drug that cures all your ills,
Take Jeremiah Peabody's polyunsaturated, quick dissolvin', fast actin',
Pleasant tastin' green and purple pills.
Oh yeah!
Well, it won't upset your stomach, it's good for arthiritis,
It soothes all your aches and pains.
Get ridda those hammers in your head,
Don't be a hyprakrondriac,
Start feelin' better again.
Clear up that fungus amongus;
It's good for every ailment, includin' water on the knee.
And it's guaranteed to be just what you need
For quick, fast, speedy relief.
Get ridda that runny nose (sniiiff), that naggin' cough (cough), that sneeze (achoo),
That wheeze (gasp) and other injuries.
Take Jeremiah Peabody's polyunsaturated, quick dissolvin', fast actin',
Pleasant tastin' green and purple pills.
Oh, yeah! Little green and purple pills,
Oh, yeah, little green and purple pills...

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Old 25-05-2019, 06:38   #5553
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The New Joke Thread

I remember something I heard in College.
If your not Liberal at 20, you have no heart.
If your not Conservative by 50, you have no brain.

Now don’t get political, but I believe that is a somewhat true statement, as we age, our beliefs change, as we get older we become less risk tolerant etc.
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Old 25-05-2019, 06:43   #5554
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Bit of trivia.
Both Ray Stevens and Ray Charles are from the same town, Albany Ga.
There is a Statue and plaques and a park named after Ray Charles, nothing for Ray Stevens.
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Old 25-05-2019, 07:14   #5555
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
I remember something I heard in College.
If your not Liberal at 20, you have no heart.
If your not Conservative by 50, you have no brain.

Now don’t get political, but I believe that is a somewhat true statement, as we age, our beliefs change, as we get older we become less risk tolerant etc.
Dear Quote Investigator:
Some individuals change their political orientation as they grow older. There is a family of sayings that present a mordant judgment on this ideological evolution. Here are three examples:

Not to be a républicain* at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head.

If you’re not a socialist* before you’re twenty-five, you have no heart; if you are a socialist after twenty-five, you have no head.

If you aren’t a liberal* when you’re young, you have no heart, but if you aren’t a middle-aged conservative, you have no head.

* Within the context of these sayings the terms “républicain”, “socialist”, and “liberal” were all on the left of the political spectrum.

More ➥ https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/02/24/heart-head/
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Old 25-05-2019, 07:56   #5556
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Bit of trivia.
Both Ray Stevens and Ray Charles are from the same town, Albany Ga.
There is a Statue and plaques and a park named after Ray Charles, nothing for Ray Stevens.
Never heard of the latter. Are you saying his musical talent and impact on American culture is as great as Brother Ray the High Priest?
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Old 25-05-2019, 08:05   #5557
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Aha, “The Streak” guy!

Actually did participate in that fad, streaked across three different campuses in my teens.

Fun times!

He seems pretty progressive for a country act, “Everything” lyrics: “We shouldn’t care ’bout the length of his hair/or the color of his skin.”

but “Osama-Yo’ Mama” is a weird hot take, “Osama, yo’ mama didn’t raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped yo’ turban too tight.”

“America Communicate With Me” is about exactly this topic! https://youtu.be/7v7j-Y0YU5Q

I'll stick with Ray Charles, thanks. Saw him in Paris in 1980 I think, absolutely fantastic.
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Old 25-05-2019, 08:15   #5558
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Dunno... I remember hiding under my blanket with my little AM radio in the 70’s, when nighttime AM signals would start bouncing our way, to listen to the Dr. Demento show. It took a certain amount of effort. Nowadays kids can just bring it up on their phone any time.

I suppose it’s still a signal-to-noise problem. Just a different kind of noise.
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Old 25-05-2019, 08:33   #5559
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Fantastic video
https://youtu.be/9KgNaRQ_J-c

https://kotaku.com/what-we-love-abou...oad-1833849341

https://reason.com/2019/04/05/before...ack-with-billy

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/8f...6-4f5f5a6dc52d

And something very different https://youtu.be/JLQ4by3lUJo
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Old 25-05-2019, 08:35   #5560
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
Aha, “The Streak” guy!
He seems pretty progressive for a country act, “Everything” lyrics: “We shouldn’t care ’bout the length of his hair/or the color of his skin.”
but “Osama-Yo’ Mama” is a weird hot take, “Osama, yo’ mama didn’t raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped yo’ turban too tight.”
“America Communicate With Me” is about exactly this topic! https://youtu.be/7v7j-Y0YU5Q ...
Yep, and:
Gitarzan, Ahab The Arab, Freddie Feelgood, Surfin' U.S.S.R., Bridget The Midget (Queen Of The Blues), Along Came Jones, Harry The Hairy Ape, If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus (it’s about taxes, not religion), Mr. Businessman, and more ...
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Old 25-05-2019, 08:37   #5561
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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When I was a little Yankee kid growing up, all those types of foods would have grossed me out.
Souvlaki is just BBQ on a stick. Can't get more universally traditional human about food than that.

But yes, I remember when even Italian was "ethnic" food. Such limitations are just sad, especially imposed on kids.
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Old 25-05-2019, 09:44   #5562
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Never heard of the latter. Are you saying his musical talent and impact on American culture is as great as Brother Ray the High Priest?
Ray Charles and Ray Stevens were loved by the fly-over parts of the US. RC’s rendition of America the Beautiful has no equal. Ray Stevens was famous for poking fun at American culture through song. But I liked “Everything is Beautiful” the best.

Don’t look Ethel!!!!

Ray Charles was in a different league though. And hugely missed.
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Old 25-05-2019, 10:03   #5563
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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... Ray Charles was in a different league though. And hugely missed.
Indeed!
(Tho' Stevens is a great lyricist)


I devised a test to see if people prefer Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder...
It's a double blind study.

Q: Why can't Ray Charles read?
A: Because he's deceased.
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Old 25-05-2019, 10:12   #5564
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Why didn’t Ray Charles ever see his friends?

Because he was married
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Old 25-05-2019, 13:03   #5565
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I loved Ray Stevens. That got me to thinking of my all time favorite funny song.



The real problem with youtube is, if you can get pizza delivered, you could sit in front of the computer all day. We used to call people like that couch potatoes. Is there a new term?
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