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Old 18-04-2019, 16:19   #5401
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 18-04-2019, 16:20   #5402
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Old 19-04-2019, 01:42   #5403
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I said "Leave the red light to port."
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Old 19-04-2019, 05:46   #5404
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Trump voting Trucker Keel hauled in California.

Blamed it on his addiction to Twitter while driving.
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Old 19-04-2019, 08:41   #5405
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Little Johnny........



The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.


Little Sally led off. "I sold SES cookies and I made $30" she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civic spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good", said the teacher.


Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.


Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny.


"Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"


"I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny, "I set up a Chip & Dip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poo." Then I would say, "It is dog poo, you wanna buy a toothbrush?
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Old 19-04-2019, 09:11   #5406
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Re: The New Joke Thread

That is called "The Microsoft Sales Model."

First you create a problem, then you make a fortune selling the solution.
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Old 19-04-2019, 09:36   #5407
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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That is called "The Microsoft Sales Model."

First you create a problem, then you make a fortune selling the solution.
Isn't that what Doctors do?

Blood test anyone?
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Old 19-04-2019, 13:52   #5408
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Thank God I don’t have to hunt for food....

I don’t even know where tacos live
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Old 19-04-2019, 13:53   #5409
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A husband and wife are staring at their garden.

“Sooner or later,” the wife comments, “you’re going to have to put in a better scarecrow.”

“What’s wrong with the one we’ve got?” asks the husband. “It scares away all the birds and it’s still got a few good years left.”

“I agree,” the wife says, “but my mother can’t stay out there forever.”
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Old 19-04-2019, 16:15   #5410
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Old 19-04-2019, 16:16   #5411
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Old 19-04-2019, 16:17   #5412
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Old 19-04-2019, 16:17   #5413
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Old 19-04-2019, 16:19   #5414
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Old 19-04-2019, 16:20   #5415
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