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Old 19-03-2019, 16:25   #4771
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Tiger Woods goes to Ireland

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dose?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!"
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Old 20-03-2019, 22:26   #4772
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 21-03-2019, 07:17   #4773
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A cop sees a car driving slowly and wiggly, changing lanes for no reason and so on. He pulls the car over and an older couple are in the front seats.

Cop: "I had to pull you over, you can't drive like that!"

Man: "I'm sorry, I've drank a little bit to much..."

Cop: "That's not an excuse to let your wife drive!"
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Old 21-03-2019, 07:19   #4774
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Two blind pilots enter a plane. They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.

In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die."
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Old 21-03-2019, 10:26   #4775
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This might just offend everybody.


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Old 21-03-2019, 12:37   #4776
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
[SIZE=3]This might just offend everybody.

Nope, OAC will be good with it.
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Old 21-03-2019, 16:04   #4777
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Nope, OAC will be good with it.

You mean AOC?
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Old 21-03-2019, 16:07   #4778
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Yes, stupid spell checker...
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Old 21-03-2019, 17:02   #4779
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Yes, stupid spell checker...
Why does spellcheck think OAC is correct?
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Old 21-03-2019, 17:28   #4780
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Why does spellcheck think OAC is correct?

I don’t know. I didn’t write the code for it.
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Old 21-03-2019, 17:30   #4781
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Re: The New Joke Thread

OAC: On Approval of Credit
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Old 21-03-2019, 17:50   #4782
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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OAC: On Approval of Credit
What a joke.
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Old 21-03-2019, 17:52   #4783
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Yep. In my world every car ad that posts prices and payment terms includes the letters "OAC".
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Old 21-03-2019, 20:42   #4784
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Re: The New Joke Thread

RBG is often spellchecked to RGB.
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Old 22-03-2019, 01:42   #4785
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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