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Old 12-02-2019, 09:51   #4486
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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At this point probably typing posts with one hand, using the one eye that isn’t swollen completely shut from a hospital bed.

At least it won’t get any worse. Well, not until the wires holding your broken jaw in place are removed and you can talk to her again.
Transference?
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Old 12-02-2019, 09:56   #4487
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The New Joke Thread

No just pointing out that the wife probably would have beaten you senseless for that joke.
Of course I would be in the next bed over for similar reasons.
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Old 13-02-2019, 08:39   #4488
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Valentines Day Special
$500.00
We will arrest you in front of your wife and not release you until Tuesday.
Price includes
  • Camping fees
  • Fishing Licence
  • Tent
  • Food
  • BBQ
  • Beer
We will arrive in full police uniform with lights and sirens
Do they spell license with a "C" down under?
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Old 13-02-2019, 08:42   #4489
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Do they spell license with a "C" down under?
They spell license with a “C” everywhere people write English. Two Cs is a little unusual though.
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Old 13-02-2019, 10:14   #4490
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Do they spell license with a "C" down under?
Mostly it's just me.
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Old 13-02-2019, 11:07   #4491
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Do they spell license with a "C" down under?

In the US, both the noun and verb are "license".


In the rest of the word, the noun is "licence", the verb is "license".


Similar to US practice versus practice/practise in the rest of the world.


Why the US uses "s" for one and "c" for the other is just another of those peculiarities.
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Old 13-02-2019, 12:41   #4492
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Do they spell license with a "C" down under?
Only when it's a noun.
Licence is a noun, license is, on the other hand,, a verb.
Likewise, practice is a noun, practise is a verb.
And, advice is a noun, advise is a verb.
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Old 13-02-2019, 12:48   #4493
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by StuM View Post
... Why the US uses "s" for one and "c" for the other is just another of those peculiarities.
Daniel Webster felt there was a need to create a distinct national language in America, distinct from that spoken in the former British motherland, that they were trying to separate themselves from. Webster wanted to make sure that all Americans were speaking the same words, and spelling them and pronouncing them the same way. He published his grammar books starting in 1783, which included a speller, grammar, and reader, and a dictionary, in 1806. His American Dictionary of the English Language took years of travel and research, but was finally published in 1828, and included Americanisms and Webster's own original definitions for some words.
See also ☞ https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5309...n_tab_contents
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Old 13-02-2019, 12:51   #4494
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 13-02-2019, 13:23   #4495
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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OUCH!

Jim
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Old 13-02-2019, 13:24   #4496
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I just learned something unexpected. 2 Cs is a legitimate spelling.
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Old 13-02-2019, 13:33   #4497
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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If they had just built a big beautiful concrete wall, they wouldn't have had all those problems.
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Old 13-02-2019, 13:44   #4498
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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If they had just built a big beautiful concrete wall, they wouldn't have had all those problems.
This one came up a while back, seems fittingClick image for larger version

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Old 13-02-2019, 14:07   #4499
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A seal walks into a club.
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Old 13-02-2019, 14:39   #4500
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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A seal walks into a club.
A seal walks into a bar, bartender asks what he'd like. Seal replies "anything but a Canadian club ."
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