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Old 01-02-2019, 11:58   #4426
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 01-02-2019, 18:04   #4427
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 02-02-2019, 05:38   #4428
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 02-02-2019, 12:39   #4429
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 02-02-2019, 17:43   #4430
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Cover your eyes if Math jokes offend you.


The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, “Go forth and multiply.”
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes.
“What’s the problem?” says Noah.
“Cut down some trees and let us live there”, say the snakes.
Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy.
Noah asks, “Want to tell me how the trees helped?”
“Certainly”, say the snakes. “We’re adders, so we need logs to multiply.”
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Old 02-02-2019, 19:13   #4431
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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How do you identify an extrovert mathematician?


He is looking at your shoes and not his own.
Still looking for an explainer on this one.
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Old 02-02-2019, 19:16   #4432
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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“Certainly”, say the snakes. “We’re adders, so we need logs to multiply.”
Oh! Good one!

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Old 02-02-2019, 19:25   #4433
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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And not just liquids. A few years back I was taking a camping/boating trip to NZ and, to save having to reinvent the wheel, packed a large plastic crate with the essentials - including my butane-fueled single burner stove. As the crate was going in the aircraft's hold, didn't think it was an issue, but apparently the airlines do....so at the check-in counter I had to unpack the crate and ditch the 4 spare butane packs - in the bin - adjacent the check in desk - in the middle of the crowded airport lobby.

Could not see the logic in it at all....and no, the check-in staff wouldn't take them away to a 'safe' disposal. 'Not our job'.

NB: All pressure canisters are 'hazardous waste' in Oz, and can't be simply chucked in normal rubbish - except, it appears, at airports.

At least I could replace the canisters in NZ from the local hardware for pretty much what I'd paid for the originals.

My one burner has a BBQ plate adaption that enabled me to cook snags and onions and sell them to other boaters on the event as we floated down the Waikato River. think I sold about 4, so that pocvered the cost of the canisters...

It also meant I could have a cup of tea whenever I felt like it, also produced from the onboard stove. Drank a lot of tea....

I was in a 14' dinghy, so you'll appreciate this involved some juggling...
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Old 02-02-2019, 19:26   #4434
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Still looking for an explainer on this one.
OK, I'll try. But remember:
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White"


It's suggesting that all mathematicians are extremely introverted compared to other people.



They don't look people in the face, they just look down at the ground..



If they go so far as to look at your shoes rather than straight down at their own when interacting with you, they are extroverted in comparison to the norm.
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Old 02-02-2019, 19:27   #4435
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Oh! And I think I've figured out the extroverted mathematician's shoe joke....

Being mathematicians are naturally shy and awkward, they tend to look at their shoes, rather than look you in the eye when they speak to you.....

....so if one is looking at YOUR shoes, he must be an extrovert.....

Cliches only work becasue, well, they're cliches...
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Old 02-02-2019, 19:33   #4436
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Speaking of not getting it, here's one for the computer geeks.


I'll leave the explainer to someone else


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Old 02-02-2019, 19:38   #4437
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Re: The New Joke Thread

LOL. Had to google it. TCP and UDP are transfer protocols. UDP is faster as it deletes all the checking protocols, so if a packet of data goes missing, neither end knows, and even if the recipient knew, they couldn't ask for it to be resent.

And of course, using UDP indicates the sender doesn't care if you don't receive it.

Or, at least, that's what I think the half page of geek-speak translated as....

YMMV
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Old 02-02-2019, 20:08   #4438
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Having been a IP networking geek since the 80's, that one I got right away.

But the math extrovert one, WHOOOSH!

I've always been interested in shoes (and feet in general) maybe that's why I did not make the connection with shyness.
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Old 02-02-2019, 20:08   #4439
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
And not just liquids. A few years back I was taking a camping/boating trip to NZ and, to save having to reinvent the wheel, packed a large plastic crate with the essentials - including my butane-fueled single burner stove. As the crate was going in the aircraft's hold, didn't think it was an issue, but apparently the airlines do....so at the check-in counter I had to unpack the crate and ditch the 4 spare butane packs - in the bin - adjacent the check in desk - in the middle of the crowded airport lobby.
Ah so that was **you** they were telling me about!!!

Lucky it happened in the US and not NZ...

In transit through Auckland once.... hold baggage checked in in Oz....

Sitting in transit.... summonsed... thought I was getting an upgrade... nope.... frogmarched down to the 'reconciliation room'.... a windowless concrete bunker down in the bowels... just me , the reconciliation officer.... and my bag.

Sez him 'wots in the bag?'

'Stuff for me boat' sez I

"I can see that" sez he.... 'what do you think we may be interested in?'

Tried a few suggestions, settled on tube of sikaflex... told me to open the bag... sent me on my way.

He did tell me that they got a lot of 'camping gaz' cylinders...

I think he was on substantial danger money....

They are pretty thorough in Auk... even transit stuff... recently had one of those 'tactical' flashlights with the 'Cree' LED and lithium batt... I had disabled the batt with a cardboard disc... they disabled the whole thing by pulling out the off/on button.....and putting it in a little plastic bag with a note....
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Old 02-02-2019, 20:11   #4440
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
Having been a IP networking geek since the 80's, that one I got right away.

But the math extrovert one, WHOOOSH!

I've always been interested in shoes (and feet in general) maybe that's why I did not make the connection with shyness.
Good catholic girls were always told to be wary of men wearing highly polished shoes... or so one once told me..
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