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Old 02-01-2019, 10:08   #4096
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Gord,
A B battery was a size My Simpson 260 took one.
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Old 02-01-2019, 11:38   #4097
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Na, from my days in electronics, the Ever Ready 4.5 volt battery, used often in European battery powered clocks, contained 3 x Ever Ready “B” cells. Totally different from the so called B battery used in tube radios, which I do not think were Ever Ready class B batteries. A class B battery was different from a class B cell.
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Old 02-01-2019, 13:21   #4098
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Re: The New Joke Thread

hah that's funny!
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Old 02-01-2019, 13:36   #4099
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Outlaw7 & JohnT:

“The batteries used in this model (Simpson 260) are a single "D" cell, plus four "AA" batteries.
Simpson 260-5 - Volt - Ohm - Milliammeter

However, ANSI “B” batteries (21.5 mm Dia. x 60 mm L - 0.8464" 2.36"), ARE still made and sold, and are still sometimes used in Europe for lanterns and bicycle lamps. According to Energizer, though, their popularity is dwindling there, too, and they might be completely discontinued.
These are not the older vacuum tube plate circuit (“B”) batteries (90V etc) that powered the anode and cathode circuitry, which were previously discussed.


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Old 02-01-2019, 15:23   #4100
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Rx for Dx.

Too Bad.
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Old 03-01-2019, 08:04   #4101
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Gord,
I am talking old old Simpson from the 60's. When the battery became hard to find they revamped the meter to take the new batteries.
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Old 03-01-2019, 08:15   #4102
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Outlaw7 View Post
Gord,
I am talking old old Simpson from the 60's. When the battery became hard to find they revamped the meter to take the new batteries.
You’re right! - I was mistaken
The 1966 model , for instance, had 1 x 1.5V “D”, and 1 x 15V “B” battery.
Page 27 ➥ http://www.simpson260.com/downloads/...anual-1966.pdf


A word about mistakes:


A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

'We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!!!'

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking and tear filled voice, the Abbot screams: "The word was... the word was...
CELEBRATE!!!"
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Old 03-01-2019, 08:27   #4103
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Thanks Gord I thought I was going crazy. My meter has been setting put away for years because of the battery. Our conversation and your resources have pointed me to a battery that will revive it!
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Old 03-01-2019, 11:38   #4104
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Re: The New Joke Thread

These old Simpson meters were notorious for destroying delicate transistors because of the 15V battery. Fluke was basically created to solve the problem because Simpson seemed not to understand that transistors were a “thing”. If Simpson had only a little vision there might not be a Fluke Corp. today.
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Old 03-01-2019, 12:20   #4105
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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These old Simpson meters were notorious for destroying delicate transistors because of the 15V battery. Fluke was basically created to solve the problem because Simpson seemed not to understand that transistors were a “thing”. If Simpson had only a little vision there might not be a Fluke Corp. today.


I distinctly remember “don’t use the ohmmeter on transistor junctions”. But now everyone knows it’s ok with today’s equipment. I will say that with rapidly fluctuating dc the Simpson is more informative than many digital meters.

I just looked. You can buy one , new production , for about $350. They are still made!
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Old 03-01-2019, 13:42   #4106
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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These old Simpson meters were notorious for destroying delicate transistors because of the 15V battery. Fluke was basically created to solve the problem because Simpson seemed not to understand that transistors were a “thing”. If Simpson had only a little vision there might not be a Fluke Corp. today.


Garmin became a company because Bendix/ King couldn’t be convinced that GPS would become a new Navaid, Bendix / King thought that VOR’s would still be the only Navaid’s used.
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Old 03-01-2019, 14:09   #4107
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Re: The New Joke Thread

!!

Awhile back I thought Gordo might have been kidnapped but it seems that he leads a band of battery folk who've kidnapped the joke thread! And clever they are, me hearties! What with injecting juuuussstt enough humor into posts as to pacify the joke addicts. Clever rascals, what?



A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out,

"Are we over the border yet?"




Caution: The joke above is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, locations, or events is purely coincidental - and anyway, The Berlin Wall no longer exists.
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Old 03-01-2019, 15:06   #4108
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Garmin became a company because Bendix/ King couldn’t be convinced that GPS would become a new Navaid, Bendix / King thought that VOR’s would still be the only Navaid’s used.
Well, that suckered me in!

Bendix Field Engineering Corp. BFEC, at their HQ on One Bendix Road. Columbia, MD, USA, had a "clean room" facility where we grew our own crystals and manufactured microchips for, among other purposes, credit-card sized GPS receivers. This was back in the early to mid nineties. I know this because I was a BFEC engineer working in Europe back then and brought a high-level team of military engineers (country to remain anonymous) to the BFEC facility for a tour (and of course possible sales). Operation Desert Storm in '91 convinced many in the military that soldier-carried, small, light weight GPS was a tactical, small unit, desert requirement. By the time Operation Iraqi Freedom (or the "Shock and Awe" campaign) rolled around in 2003 GPS was most definitely a thing - from NavAid aboard ship to planes, tanks, ground troops and those lovely cruise missiles. I don't know how much of the GPS gear came from BFEC, just that we had a presence.

I apologize for violating my own personal rules for joke thread contributions!


Edit: BTW, we had a GPS receiver aboard our rented sailboat in the Med back in '93, but I can't remember the brand/manufacturer. Probably not Bendix or I would have noted that - and crowed to the others aboard. <grin>
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Old 03-01-2019, 16:23   #4109
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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'We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!!!'
I wonder if "GoRd" is trying to hint at something....????

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Old 03-01-2019, 21:42   #4110
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I wonder if "GoRd" is trying to hint at something....????

Lol....he's got my vote!
The Word, according to Gord!
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