The New Joke Thread

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

This explains it all... Men in Black & Aliens...

Yeah? Well riddle me this, Batman! Why is it that when standing in line for the ATM on a Friday afternoon and my turn finally comes around I forget the dratted PIN? And don't tell me it's because of those ladies in tight blouses, short skirts and high heels! Gotta be another reason!

{ Ummm .... Not me... just an image to show a point. }

[Jdege]

Originally Posted by dfelsent

Let’s not forget about engineering hammers. Attachment 180212

Usually used for fine adjustments or resetting computers.

You never want to hit your computers.

They do, though, work better when they're intimidated.

[LakeSuperior]

What's the most common tree in California?


Ash.

[Bill_Giles]

Translating jokes reminds me of a famous example of one that does not translate from English. One man to another: "My wife has gone on holiday", second man: "Jamaica?", first man: "No she decided on her own." Does not translate well into German for example.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by john61ct

He must not have anyone around him left to point out even his most obvious mistakes.

Or perhaps he does not care, knowing his supporters don't either?

Ahh.. Thats asskissers for you..
But then if you remember no one dared tell the king he had no clothes on till a little boy shouted it..

[Outlaw7]

Picture this you go shopping for cereal, you go to pay only to remember you gave your ATM card to your son to buy dinghy fuel. You write a check for that cereal the first thing the clerk will ask you for is your picture ID like a drivers license or such. It's a long reach but you need a picture ID to buy cereal unless you have cash and I have had to show my license a few times to use my debit card or a credit card.

[Outlaw7]

And by the way in before the lock!

[a64pilot]

It’s irrelevant.
Let’s get back to humor

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

It’s irrelevant.
Let’s get back to humor

Yep! It is hard to ignore Trump and there is absolutely nothing funny about him, so out of the Joke Thread, please.

Jim

[Buzzman]

Did you know Bridge card players are all Democrats???

No??

Well, the winning bid is often "No Trumps".....


There ya go, Trump humour....

[Dave_S]

Apparently I can't just post an image so here are some words

[john61ct]

Calling me a liar?

http://assets.amuniversal.com/d9497c...5056a9545d.jpg

[transmitterdan]

It is often the case that one must show ID at the grocery store to use a credit card or write a check. Also, using a $100 bill may result in a request to see a picture ID so they can record who gave that bill in case it comes up bogus. Finding new ways to belittle Trump is a new cottage industry.

[john61ct]

I really agree, this is not the place, let's not ruin the thread (further)

pot, kettle, black 8-)

[Buzzman]

You think you have problems in America?

We've had 5 Prime Ministers in almost as many years!

And each in their own way has been somewhat comical....

But let's not go there. Too divisive...