And needing a laughter break from socaldmax's posts I wandered down to the pub where real world stuff gets discussed. Like George, who told us he'd been arrested.
Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
George: “I had to get to work
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
George: "I don’t have a driver’s license
for the bus."
And so forth. Other bits and bobs heard about town:
George, to a bakery shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.”
Shop assistant: “Cupcake?”
George: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”
"My new 1000 watt sound system is great! I can control the volume of my neighbor's banging on my door."
"I'd read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution:
NO MORE READING!"
"Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”
"Hey – did you just call me ugly and fat in retrospect?!"
“I wish I could go to the Maldives
“Wow, you’ve been to the Maldives
“No, but I wished it before.”
“Mommy, I saw you jumping on daddy’s belly yesterday night.”
“Yes, we were trying to get rid of daddy’s big belly. I jump on him so all the air would come out.”
“Aha, I know why it isn’t working then – the woman from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping
and blows all the air back into him again.”