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Old 06-02-2017, 18:38   #1966
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Nah Jim....im sure we can make a joke out of this
We have to work on this. Three yotties went into a bar, yadda yadda, leading to mechanico's punch line.

Drag on the pocketbook ...

This is what a community is all about - you all work on it, I'm going to bed.
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Old 06-02-2017, 18:48   #1967
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Noit Noit!





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Old 08-02-2017, 14:55   #1968
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Cockpit Conversation

A plane leaves JFK airport under the control of a Jewish Captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish Captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese..."

"No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "Why not?"

"You people bombed Pearl Harbour, that's why."

"No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese. Doesn't matter, you're all goddam alike."

There's a few minutes of silence ...

"I no rike Jews", the co-pilot suddenly announces.

"Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain.

"Jews sink Titanic," says the co-pilot.

"What? That's insane. Jews didn't sink the Titanic," exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg."

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , no mattah ... all fr*#king same."
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Old 08-02-2017, 17:49   #1969
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This is soreal.......


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Old 08-02-2017, 18:43   #1970
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Words of Wisdom in short doses...

Behind every angry woman, stands a Man
who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

Been there done that.
Then, been there several more times,
because, apparently I never learn!

Every time you talk to your wife,
your mind should remember that this...
'Conversation will be recorded for training
and quality purposes'.

Some things are just better left unsaid.
And I usually realize it, right after I say them.

Life is short.
Smile, while you still have teeth.

Don't try to understand women,
women understand women,
and they hate each other.

Arguing with a woman is like
reading the Software License agreement.
In the end you have to ignore everything,
and click "I agree".

Never make a woman mad.
They can remember stuff that
hasn't even happened yet.

Remember, women always
have the last word in an argument.
Anything a man adds after that
is the beginning of a new argument.

"Be decisive. Right or wrong,
make a decision. The road of life
is paved with flat animals that
couldn't make a decision.

If a woman says"First of all,"
during an argument, run away
because, she has prepared
research, data, charts,
and will destroy you.

A wise man once said nothing.
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Old 09-02-2017, 13:01   #1971
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 09-02-2017, 13:06   #1972
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Saw this on Facebook today:
With President Donald Trump and Vice-President Mike Pence in power in the U.S.A.; Walt Disney could never have imagined in his wildest dreams that Donald and Mickey would be running America!
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Old 09-02-2017, 14:13   #1973
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Re: The New Joke Thread

How does Hillary Clinton know when Bill has been out with other women?

He comes home smelling of pepper spray.
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Old 09-02-2017, 14:27   #1974
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The British Guardian newspaper reports on a rumor that Trump will appoint Sarah Palin as ambassador to Canada. Is this part of a Trump secret plan to build a Northern wall, and have Canada pay for it?
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Old 09-02-2017, 14:29   #1975
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Re: The New Joke Thread

#MeanwhileInCyberspace....

A new company has developed, “Modobag,” which they say is the world’s first rideable motorized luggage And you think travelers rushing through the airports while looking at their phones are a menace now?
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Old 09-02-2017, 15:21   #1976
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 09-02-2017, 19:04   #1977
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Shoe shine? Anyone?
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Old 09-02-2017, 19:07   #1978
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The first time a black family was evicted so a billionaire could move in!
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Old 09-02-2017, 22:23   #1979
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
The first time a black family was evicted so a billionaire could move in!
Bah, that happens all the time in South Boston and Jamaica Plain ...
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Old 09-02-2017, 23:24   #1980
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Re: The New Joke Thread

First time a black famuily was moved out of public housing so a white billionaire could move in.

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