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Old 08-01-2017, 13:13   #1876
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The biggest problem with the birth rates are that far more children are born into poverty and famine than are born to college educated households. I read a statistic somewhere that college educated couples have only 1 child per couple, far below the 2.1 required to sustain the subgroup. Good examples are my half sister and I. Both college educated, neither of us chose to have children of our own. Both of our family names die with us. All of her friends are college educated, most chose either 1 or no children.

It doesn't bode well for the future. The movie "Idiocracy" may just prove more prophetic than anyone realized!
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Old 08-01-2017, 13:19   #1877
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Sorry I put this in the Joke thread
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Old 08-01-2017, 14:23   #1878
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Why did Moses receive the Ten Commandments?

God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'
The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
'Can you give us an example?'
'Thou shall not kill.'
'Not kill? We're not interested..'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honour thy Father and Mother.'
'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'
'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments..
'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
'They're free.'
'We'll take 10.'


There! That should upset just about everybody!!....
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Old 08-01-2017, 16:28   #1879
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by D&D View Post
Why did Moses receive the Ten Commandments?
Saw Stephen Fry tell that one (slightly different version with a European nationality rather than an ethnic slant, but the same last section) on a re-run of QI just a few days ago!
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:02   #1880
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Re: The New Joke Thread

🤔 You left out the LGBT's.

Quote:
Originally Posted by D&D View Post
Why did Moses receive the Ten Commandments?

God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'
The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
'Can you give us an example?'
'Thou shall not kill.'
'Not kill? We're not interested..'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honour thy Father and Mother.'
'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'
'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments..
'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
'They're free.'
'We'll take 10.'


There! That should upset just about everybody!!....
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:09   #1881
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
The biggest problem with the birth rates are that far more children are born into poverty and famine than are born to college educated households. I read a statistic somewhere that college educated couples have only 1 child per couple, far below the 2.1 required to sustain the subgroup. Good examples are my half sister and I. Both college educated, neither of us chose to have children of our own. Both of our family names die with us. All of her friends are college educated, most chose either 1 or no children.

It doesn't bode well for the future. The movie "Idiocracy" may just prove more prophetic than anyone realized!
Glad I'm not the only one concerned! It took a million years to get the population to what it was in 1948. Now it has trippled. 🐀
And it's all women's fault. They are the main one who wants babies! 🐇
And that's no joke!
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:11   #1882
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
🤔 You left out the LGBT's.
You mean... ?
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:20   #1883
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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🤔 You left out the LGBT's.
They heard "Commandments" and got out of there lickety-split!!!!!
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:35   #1884
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Re: The New Joke Thread

D&D, Do you think that just because you post those prejudicial, offensive, derisive, racial, stereotypical comments in a joke section that they are any less offensive? Shame on you!
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:45   #1885
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by silversailor View Post
D&D, Do you think that just because you post those prejudicial, offensive, derisive, racial, stereotypical comments in a joke section that they are any less offensive? Shame on you!
Yeah! Some people can't take a joke.
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:50   #1886
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by silversailor View Post
D&D, Do you think that just because you post those prejudicial, offensive, derisive, racial, stereotypical comments in a joke section that they are any less offensive? Shame on you!
The Mexicans weren't even around at the time the commandments were rolled out.
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Old 08-01-2017, 17:53   #1887
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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They heard "Commandments" and got out of there lickety-split!!!!!
Well, the "L"s did.
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Old 08-01-2017, 19:11   #1888
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Well, the "L"s did.

I saw what you did there. :^)


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Old 09-01-2017, 17:12   #1889
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by silversailor View Post
D&D, Do you think that just because you post those prejudicial, offensive, derisive, racial, stereotypical comments in a joke section that they are any less offensive? Shame on you!
MANY years ago a very smart university professor told his assembled, eager students (including Yours Truly) that all humour is at the expense of someone or something. A Roadrunner clip was shown where, as always, the poor coyote ended up underneath some giant rock to the great amusement of the collective students...and thus the good professor made the point, both visually and verbally, that humour is virtually always based on some misfortune. So you can pretty much take away one nationality/ethnic/social group/whatever and substitute another and any joke continues...and that is the way we should all view such comments as those posted here, viz. with a smile and knowing the particular groups aren't really the point.

Anyway, apologies for offense taken...no offense was intended (or, for most others here, given) ...
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Old 09-01-2017, 17:37   #1890
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Back in the '50's a story (Sci Fi) Konburth "The Marching Morons" A scallywag realestate salesman is accidently put in suspended animation during a dental procedure and reawakens in the not to distant future .All this time the populations IQ has rapidly dropped due to over breeding in the shallow end of the pool. Realizing he could be 'King he sets out to 'control the world' . Herding the morons was easy for him and 'Emperor Donnie ' had a nice ring to it .All was going well for him until the real leadership (the illuminati?) decided to end the joke.
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