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Old 11-11-2016, 10:41   #1726
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
Heaven forbid those liberals use the same tax loopholes that the republican billionaires are using to dodge their taxes. The billionaires paid good money to their pet legislators to get those loopholes into the tax code and nobody else should be allowed to use them.

I mean really if too many folks use the loopholes where is the money going to come from to pay the subsidies that helped the republican billionaires become filthy rich in the first place?

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But a liberal will get offended at anything.



It's a joke, in a joke thread, get over it.
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Old 11-11-2016, 10:44   #1727
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by PhiSig1071 View Post
Sticks and stones may break my bones,



But a liberal will get offended at anything.







It's a joke, in a joke thread, get over it.

Apparently jokes are only funny if they are at someone else's expense.
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Old 11-11-2016, 11:02   #1728
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Heaven forbid those liberals use the same tax loopholes that the republican billionaires are using to dodge their taxes. The billionaires paid good money to their pet legislators to get those loopholes into the tax code and nobody else should be allowed to use them.

I mean really if too many folks use the loopholes where is the money going to come from to pay the subsidies that helped the republican billionaires become filthy rich in the first place?
Is there a joke in there somewhere?

I've seen some real lousy jokes, but this one completely sailed over my head.

Get it, sailed...
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Old 11-11-2016, 11:12   #1729
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The New Joke Thread

It was a joke and jokes offend, especially if your blond, Polish, Irish, Liberal , Conservative, well every label I can think of.

Toss a Conservative joke back at him, there have to be millions
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Old 11-11-2016, 12:05   #1730
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Donald Trump and Hillary are stranded at sea with no hope of rescue. Who survives? Answer: America!!!

Sent from my SM-T230NU using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app
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Old 11-11-2016, 12:58   #1731
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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The following is a bright spot in an otherwise dismal election, and I applaud her for her finely honed sense of humor. Or humour, as she would spell it.
You do realize that this was written by satirist Andy Horowitz who writes for the New Yorker?
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Old 11-11-2016, 13:55   #1732
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
Apparently jokes are only funny if they are at someone else's expense.
No, but most are. That's human nature - get over it.

Did you hear the one about the fat, one legged, vegan,lesbian Puerto Rican with a liberal arts degree who voted for the Greens Party?
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Old 11-11-2016, 14:17   #1733
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I Googled Conservative jokes, there are a great many of them, some quite comical.
Same website had blond, and some other jokes too
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Old 11-11-2016, 15:17   #1734
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Don't forget short jokes, fat jokes, red haired etc.
I'm short, fat and red headed.
I was born too soon. Red hair used to be a subject of derision, now famous models have it.

8 Models with Red Hair
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Old 11-11-2016, 23:08   #1735
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Red hair used to be a subject of derision,
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Old 12-11-2016, 00:13   #1736
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Tim Minchen...... What a National Treasure!
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Old 12-11-2016, 02:51   #1737
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Tim Minchen...... What a National Treasure!
Absolutely!

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Old 12-11-2016, 11:18   #1738
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Bleemus View Post
You do realize that this was written by satirist Andy Horowitz who writes for the New Yorker?
You mean Andy Borowitz?

Yes, of course. If I included that, would that have made it any funnier? No.

Do all jokes need to have their original author mentioned in the credits? I hope not, some of the best ones don't mention who penned them.

Like the following.



The Jewish quarterback

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European leagues, but he couldn't find a super athlete who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!” the coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom,"he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl !"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!"
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Old 12-11-2016, 16:16   #1739
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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LOL, had not heard that one or new the back story....but I sorta guessed! ...well done
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Old 13-11-2016, 03:59   #1740
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Re: The New Joke Thread

God is dead. - Nietzche, 1883

Nietzche is dead. - God, 1900

Everyone is dead. - Facebook, 2016

See ➥ Facebook sorry for 'terrible error' that killed off still-living users - Calgary - CBC News
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