The Joke Thread

[David_Old_Jersey]

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

[Blue Stocking]

Old New Englanders responce when asked if the oak he was using to steam in the new dinghy ribs was fresh cut and green.
"Birds was singing in it yesterday"

[colemj]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

You should be banned from this thread...

[captainKJ]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

he should be committed

[David_Old_Jersey]

[Fortytwo]

"Watching child birth is like watching your favorite bar burn down."

[lookoutnw]

Somebody must have been in the ARMY!!!

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

[Lancerbye]

GARY IS IN THE HOSPITAL



No comment required, I think ...





Who in the hell is Gary?

Well Gary is the guy who gets home late one night and Marilyn his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"
Gary replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Certified Public Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the River Bend Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by Lancerbye

instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the River Bend Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233

Gary must got hurt chasing all those deer at home, or was it elk?

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by lookoutnw

Somebody must have been in the ARMY!!!

Nah. Always been private sector ........nowadays I spend my time trying to stop people shooting themselves in the foot - with little success

[lookoutnw]

I was referring to the cartoon. Typical Military Peace Time Operations...

[bene505]

I guessed this was a global warming post, where Duck=global warming.

Regards,
Brad

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

[S/V Antares]

Ohhhh! That explains it......?

[shorebird]

How many sailors does it take to shingle a roof?

only two if you slice them really thin.

(baddaboom)

[Ex-Calif]

Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning all you need are two hearts and a diamond.
In the end all you want is a club and a spade.