Cruisers Forum
 


Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 11 votes, 4.45 average. Display Modes
Old 23-11-2011, 04:02   #1336
Armchair Bucketeer
 
David_Old_Jersey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,012
Images: 4
Re: The Joke Thread

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
David_Old_Jersey is offline  
Old 23-11-2011, 04:16   #1337
Registered User
 
Blue Stocking's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Georges, Bda
Boat: Rhodes Reliant 41ft
Posts: 4,131
Re: The Joke Thread

Old New Englanders responce when asked if the oak he was using to steam in the new dinghy ribs was fresh cut and green.
"Birds was singing in it yesterday"
__________________
so many projects--so little time !!
Blue Stocking is offline  
Old 23-11-2011, 06:27   #1338
Registered User
 
colemj's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Presently on US East Coast
Boat: Manta 40 "Reach"
Posts: 10,104
Images: 12
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
You should be banned from this thread...
__________________
www.svreach.com

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
colemj is offline  
Old 23-11-2011, 07:25   #1339
Registered User
 
captainKJ's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: 3rd wave passed the sea wall
Boat: private yacht always moving
Posts: 1,388
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
he should be committed
captainKJ is offline  
Old 24-11-2011, 17:07   #1340
Armchair Bucketeer
 
David_Old_Jersey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,012
Images: 4
Re: The Joke Thread

David_Old_Jersey is offline  
Old 25-11-2011, 00:42   #1341
Registered User
 
Fortytwo's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern California
Boat: 1979 Union 36'
Posts: 259
Re: The Joke Thread

"Watching child birth is like watching your favorite bar burn down."
Fortytwo is offline  
Old 25-11-2011, 17:43   #1342
Registered User
 
lookoutnw's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Currently on the HARD in Guaymas Mexico and staying in Phoenix, AZ
Boat: Columbia 45
Posts: 302
Re: The Joke Thread

Somebody must have been in the ARMY!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
lookoutnw is offline  
Old 25-11-2011, 18:02   #1343
Registered User
 
Lancerbye's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ladysmith,BC, Vancouver Island , Canada
Boat: Lancer 44 Motorsailer
Posts: 1,824
Images: 32
Re: The Joke Thread

GARY IS IN THE HOSPITAL



No comment required, I think ...





Who in the hell is Gary?

Well Gary is the guy who gets home late one night and Marilyn his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"

Gary replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"


"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Certified Public Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the River Bend Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233





__________________
The basis of accomplishment is in never quitting
Mengzi Meng-tse
Lancerbye is offline  
Old 25-11-2011, 18:37   #1344
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: Itís in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,217
Images: 122
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lancerbye View Post
instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the River Bend Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233





Gary must got hurt chasing all those deer at home, or was it elk?
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline  
Old 26-11-2011, 03:45   #1345
Armchair Bucketeer
 
David_Old_Jersey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,012
Images: 4
Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by lookoutnw View Post
Somebody must have been in the ARMY!!!
Nah. Always been private sector ........nowadays I spend my time trying to stop people shooting themselves in the foot - with little success
David_Old_Jersey is offline  
Old 26-11-2011, 22:50   #1346
Registered User
 
lookoutnw's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Currently on the HARD in Guaymas Mexico and staying in Phoenix, AZ
Boat: Columbia 45
Posts: 302
Re: The Joke Thread

I was referring to the cartoon. Typical Military Peace Time Operations...
lookoutnw is offline  
Old 27-11-2011, 06:11   #1347
Registered User
 
bene505's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: NOT on Long Island - Look elsewhere! :-)
Boat: Beneteau 50
Posts: 451
Re: The Joke Thread

I guessed this was a global warming post, where Duck=global warming.

Regards,
Brad

Quote:
Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
__________________
Email address is: b-cf "at" hallmont "dot" com

2000 Beneteau 505 "Summer Boost"
bene505 is offline  
Old 27-11-2011, 06:59   #1348
Registered User
 
S/V Antares's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Annapolis, Bahamas
Boat: 1983 Gulfstar 36
Posts: 1,253
Images: 1
Re: The Joke Thread

Ohhhh! That explains it......?
__________________
Will & Muffin
Lucy the dog

"Yes, well.. perhaps some more wine" (Julia Child)
S/V Antares is offline  
Old 27-11-2011, 11:32   #1349
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: vancouver, canada
Boat: hunter 376
Posts: 623
Re: The Joke Thread

How many sailors does it take to shingle a roof?

only two if you slice them really thin.

(baddaboom)
shorebird is offline  
Old 27-11-2011, 19:12   #1350
Moderator Emeritus
 
Ex-Calif's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ohio
Boat: Now boatless :-(
Posts: 11,580
Images: 4
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning all you need are two hearts and a diamond.
In the end all you want is a club and a spade.
__________________
Relax Lah! is SOLD! <--- Click
Click--> Custom CF Google Search or CF Rules
You're gonna need a bigger boat... - Martin Brody
Ex-Calif is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
Jokes, paracelle

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 16:47.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.