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S/V Antares · 05-12-2008, 12:29

A man walks into a Palestinian sex shop and bought an inflatable sex doll. He took it home and it blew it's self up!

Spin_Drift · 06-12-2008, 21:32

Mr. Skinflint, a rather stingy man was eating lunch with Mr. Say-
What, a ventriloquist. They had a nice meal and were chatting afterwards.

After a bit, Mr. Skinflint looked at his watch and was
surprised to see how late it had gotten.

"I'm afraid I'll have to leave soon." he said to Mr. Say-What.

Then he said to the waiter, "I'll take the check when it's ready."

"It's all set, here you go," said the waiter, "but, if I may be so
bold, Mr. Skinflint, I must say I'm surprised to hear you ask for the
check."

"So am I," said Mr. Skinflint, "and that's the last time I'll ever
dine with a ventriloquist."

Spin_Drift · 06-12-2008, 21:33

A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the
back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy,
why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate
the skin off, the meat of the apple came into
contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize,
thus changing the molecular structure and
turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then the boy asked,
"Daddy, are you talking to me?

Spin_Drift · 06-12-2008, 21:34

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

Spin_Drift · 06-12-2008, 21:35

A Groaner...

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds
that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he
passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released -
New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available
now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop.
"I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds
that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have
advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd
like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the
LP on for you."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes
into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces,
"I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds
that they make and yet I recognized none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step
into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds
they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his
head. "I don't understand it," he says, "I am the worlds leading
expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I
still can't recognize any of those!"

"I really am terribly sorry," says the young assistant, "I've just
realized I was playing you the bee side!"

Chief Engineer · 06-12-2008, 21:44

???????

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spin_Drift

A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the
back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy,
why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate
the skin off, the meat of the apple came into
contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize,
thus changing the molecular structure and
turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then the boy asked,
"Daddy, are you talking to me?

Spin_Drift · 06-12-2008, 22:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Engineer

???????

Sorry you did not find it amusing...

The Dad is talking too scientific for a four year old to understand. Way over the little child's head.

Would it have been enough to just talk in the level of a four year old and say (for example), when the air touches the part of an apple where the peel is missing, it turns brown...instead like talking to a scientist...?

So the kid thought...well...you get the drift... I hope this clarifies it a little...

Best wishes, -Spinner

.

07-12-2008, 00:14

I got it, and greatly appreciated the irony.

Lancerbye · 07-12-2008, 00:42

Subject: Saskatchewan Weddings

It all started out with me pickin up my blushin bride in a limo down at the 7 Eleven in Melville when she got off work.

My Dad ran down to the Burger King in Yorkton to pick up the reception viddles.

I took my blushin bride to a place where she could get dressed up and all.

My bride was having problems with a worked up stomach, if you know what I mean,
so we had the preacher meet us at the outhouse for the ceremony.

Afterward, Dad took a picture of my bride by her new tractor.
It was a weddin' gift from our Uncle Ken.

Now that the ceremony was done. It was time to celebrate.
Baba, we call her Gram-chop, had the cooler all stocked up with beer.

My cousin Bubba from Winnipeg dragged out the grill.

Cousin Nick from BC went to roastin ' up some weiners.
.

Meanwhile everyone enjoyed some yard games.

Some of the fellas went water skiing out near Yorkton .

The Hatfield girls (cousin Mary's friends from the city) brought their guns, jest in case.

When all the fun was over, I took my bride to our honeymoon suite at the KOA near Regina .

\

It even had air conditionin'.

After the honeymoon we loaded up and moved to Alberta .

To our beautiful waterfront condo near Edmonton .

Married life is good!

Messenger wants to send you on a trip. Enter today.

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