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15-12-2013, 19:39
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#2941
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the boat, somewhere in Australia.
Boat: Swanson 42 & Kelly Peterson 44
Posts: 9,127
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yowieboy
Hate to be a spoilsport (why does everyone who says that really love to be a spoilsport?), but the Japanese in that joke is complete gobbledegook.
Ah well, I guess it doesn't really matter...
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Yeah, I figured that out when I tried Google Translate.... er... whoops.
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15-12-2013, 21:15
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#2942
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Japan
Boat: Yamaha "Mylady" 25 ft
Posts: 102
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
At least we know who to turn to for translations now.
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Sure, anytime Coops. Just be aware that I don't do Strine...
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16-12-2013, 20:40
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#2943
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
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Re: The Joke Thread
OoHhh That hurts!
A drunk man who smelled like beer
sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face
was plastered with red lipstick,
and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking
out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his
newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man
turned to the priest sitting across from him
and asked, 'Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's
caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much
alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes
and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response,
'Well, I'll be doggone'
Then returned to
his paper.
The priest, thinking about what
he had said, nudged the man's knee
and apologized. 'I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here
that the Pope does.'
MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the
answer.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
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16-12-2013, 21:05
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#2944
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
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Re: The Joke Thread
This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of "COOPERS PALE ALE" cheap at the local bottle shop.
I placed the cartons on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She glanced at the two cartons of beer, leaned over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy swedish accent, "Nice vehicle, but I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?" ...
I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"
She should learn to barter with an Aussie..
Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
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16-12-2013, 21:14
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#2945
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
She should learn to barter with an Aussie..
Coops.
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This bill board should be in Oz.
.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
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16-12-2013, 21:17
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#2946
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the boat, somewhere in Australia.
Boat: Swanson 42 & Kelly Peterson 44
Posts: 9,127
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of "COOPERS PALE ALE" cheap at the local bottle shop.
I placed the cartons on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She glanced at the two cartons of beer, leaned over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy swedish accent, "Nice vehicle, but I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?" ...
I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"
She should learn to barter with an Aussie..
Coops.
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Now if those had been James Squire....
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16-12-2013, 21:17
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#2947
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the boat, somewhere in Australia.
Boat: Swanson 42 & Kelly Peterson 44
Posts: 9,127
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey
This bill board should be in Oz.
.
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If you drink and drive, you're a bl--dy idiot.
If you make it home, you're a legend!
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16-12-2013, 21:23
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#2948
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
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Re: The Joke Thread
If drinking and driving is illegal, then why do bars have parking lots?
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
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16-12-2013, 21:23
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#2949
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPBs
Posts: 12,888
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Re: The Joke Thread
> Sure, anytime Coops. Just be aware that I don't do Strine
OK then, what really is the Japanese for "Wrong Hole!"
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16-12-2013, 21:30
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#2950
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM
> Sure, anytime Coops. Just be aware that I don't do Strine
OK then, what really is the Japanese for "Wrong Hole!"
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In china the word for homosexual is wong ho.
And you can buy the magazines at........
.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
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16-12-2013, 22:01
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#2951
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Back in Montt.
Boat: Westerly Sealord
Posts: 8,180
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Re: The Joke Thread
Ah... the Kowloon bookshop....
In Hong Kong back in the dreamtime.... sung to the tune for 'Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam'
Me no likee British sailor
Me no likee him at all
Yankee sailor call me 'Darling'
British sailor call me dirty whore...
Me no likee Aussie sailor
Me no likee him at all
Yankee sailor **** me one time
Aussie sailor **** me all night long.....
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17-12-2013, 06:58
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#2952
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Boat: Pearson 323
Posts: 79
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Re: The Joke Thread
The Barber
A Guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'
The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'
The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half' .
The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favour , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said....
'Your house'
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17-12-2013, 08:50
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#2953
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Nearly an old salt
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lefkas Marina ,Greece
Boat: Bavaria 36
Posts: 22,801
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GILow
Yeah, I figured that out when I tried Google Translate.... er... whoops.
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You bothered sending Terry's joke through Google translate , you have waaaaay too time on your hands lol
Dave
__________________
Interested in smart boat technology, networking and all things tech
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17-12-2013, 09:40
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#2954
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Japan
Boat: Yamaha "Mylady" 25 ft
Posts: 102
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM
> Sure, anytime Coops. Just be aware that I don't do Strine
OK then, what really is the Japanese for "Wrong Hole!"
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Well, translation is all about context, you know. Care to elaborate, or provide an illustration...?
Off the cuff, I'd say, 穴が違うよ! (ana ga chigau yo!)
Ah, just did a net search and found the joke that you probably are referring to. "Gama Su!" ain't it, I can tell you that.
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18-12-2013, 18:51
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#2955
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Boat: Pearson 323
Posts: 79
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Re: The Joke Thread
An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!". Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "it's all set. They're both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare."
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