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Old 05-08-2022, 15:24   #3286
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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Old 05-08-2022, 16:06   #3287
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

What if I only came to pee?
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Old 05-08-2022, 17:37   #3288
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Old 05-08-2022, 17:38   #3289
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Old 05-08-2022, 18:06   #3290
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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That's only 12 dumps per roll.

Must have been a woman who calculated that
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Old 05-08-2022, 20:06   #3291
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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Old 05-08-2022, 20:07   #3292
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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Old 06-08-2022, 05:29   #3293
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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What if I only came to pee?
Around here, "toilet" usually refers to the plumbing fixture, not the whole room.

Which had me wondering why they put a light in it, why it would be motion activated, and why anyone would care.
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Old 06-08-2022, 05:33   #3294
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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Old 06-08-2022, 05:35   #3295
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza...
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE !!!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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Old 06-08-2022, 17:24   #3296
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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Old 06-08-2022, 18:34   #3297
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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In what parallel universe is broccoli only 49c per pound..??


It's going for $9 a kilo here in Oz..!
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Old 06-08-2022, 19:29   #3298
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads

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In what parallel universe is broccoli only 49c per pound..??
It's going for $9 a kilo here in Oz..!
She's obviously in the broccoli import business

https://producepay.com/why-the-price...united-states/
In 2020, the average price of imported fresh or refrigerated broccoli was $0.48 USD/lb ($1.05 USD/kg). During 2020, the lowest price was in April at $0.40 USD/lb $0.89 USD/kg), and the highest price was. in September at $0.59 USD/lb ($1.31 USD/kg).
...
Broccoli is sold by the pound or by the “head.” A pound of conventionally grown broccoli can cost between $1.5-5.0 USD, depending on the variety and the point of sale.
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Old 06-08-2022, 20:28   #3299
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Re: The 2021 & 2022 Joke Threads



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Old 06-08-2022, 20:41   #3300
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