The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

A farmer had a three legged pig, and his neighbor asked him why the pig had only three legs.
"Well, I'll tell you" the farmer replied. "One day I was plowing my field and the tractor turned over and pinned me underneath. That pig ran for help. He saved my life".
"Oh, that's how he lost his leg?" the neighbor drawled.
"No. One night my wife and I were sound asleep and the house caught on fire. That pig woke us up. He saved our lives!"
"So that's how he lost his leg", stated the neighbor.
"No, that wasn't it" the farmer affirmed.
Exasperated, the neighbor demanded "Then how did he lose his leg?" and the farmer replied,

"When you have a pig that good, you don't eat him all at once!"

[GordMay]

[jeanathon]

I was driving down a country lane and noticed a bunch of 3 legged chickens in a farmer's yard. Curious, I stopped to ask him about the chickens and he explained he just loved drumsticks so he bred his chickens to have an extra one.
Curiously I asked him "How do they taste?"
"I don't know. Haven't been able to catch one yet...."

[bobnlesley]

When I was a kid my father's best sheep-dog lost a leg (mum ran over it in the land rover) but it was such a good dog so he got the vet to fix it up and other than on the high fells and over rough ground it was still a pretty good working dog. It did however acquire a new name from us kids, changing from 'Aki-bua' - it was black and fast - to 'yard' as it now had only three feet.

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1641960526

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

What if they close grocery stores for COVID19 ...
... we'd have to hunt for our food, and I don’t even know where Doritos live!

[GordMay]

The inventor of the revolving door looked at a perfectly normal door, and boldly speculated: "what if i added social anxiety?"
If I go too slow? Surely, everyone behind me hates me.
Too fast? Everyone behind me is in danger.
Perfect invention.
Let's put them in the busiest buildings.

[GordMay]

Another Quiz:


What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...
Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?

What if animals were injured in the making of a film. Would they list that, in the credits?
“Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.”

What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen?
Boy, will that be anticlimatic!

What if you were stuck in a sausage skin?
That would really be a wurst case scenario.

What if I was to kill 2 men with a ladder?
Would I be causing co-ladder-al damage?

So what if I don't know what's an apocalypse?
It's not the end of the world.

What if that kim jong un rises from the dead??
Can we name him Kim jong undo?

[Bullshooter]

A friend of mine's wife asked him "Does this dress make my butt look big?"

He answered "No, it's your butt that makes the room look small."

He gets out of ICU next week.

[tennis4789]

I took a cruise. 5,000 pax on board.

I didn't sleep pretty much the whole 7 days.

Every 10 minutes someone was banging on my door.

Just my luck. Freaking Jehovahs witness convention on my sailing!

Every 10 minutes bang bang bang. I'm like go the f away.

After this goes on for days, I finally let one in.

So we sit down. I'm looking at him. Finally I ask what did you want to talk about?

He says, "I don't know. I've never made it this far."

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[SailRN]

[GordMay]