Funny Things I Did in the Navy

[sww914]

Not exactly Navy, but CG story.
When I was small, in the 60's, my family made a trip to the Colorado River. My dad was a bit of a partier and his boat was a classic P.O.S. It was about a 16' flatbottomed lake boat with a big V-8 and a direct drive. He decided (drunk) that it would be a good idea to blast back and forth parallel to the beach inside the 5MPH zone to make waves on the beach. It wasn't long until the USCG noticed what he was up to and they hailed him.
He headed out towards their boat (drunk) and tried to pull alongside.
There were a couple of problems with the boat.
It wouldn't idle below 2000 RPM's so it's slowest speed was about 10.
It was direct drive so there was no way to slow it down but to turn the engine off.
The ignition switch was loose in the dash and you had to reach around the back and hold the body of the switch to use the key.
The steering wheel was stripped on the shaft so it was necessary to cock the wheel sideways to turn.
He headed towards the boat (still drunk) and tried to pull alongside as I've already said and he stuck his arm through the steering wheel to cock it as he reached around to hold the back of the switch and turn the key off. Unfortunately the exposed wires on the switch shocked him and he flinched, thus releasing the steering wheel/ key/ switch assembly and he merrily idled into the CG boat bow first at the aforementioned 10 KTS.
The bow of his boat punched a hole in the side of the Coastie's boat and they were pissed.
UMM, yes, his voyage was terminated.
But that's not the good part.
30 years later, my lovely wife was a new MK3 (Engineer 3rd class), sitting in the base bar in Hawaii "talking story". An old Chief who had been enlisted since the dawn of time was sharing some of his best sea stories. Believe it or not, the finest story of his collection was from he was a young Bosun's Mate stationed on the Colorado River and some stupid drunk a** punched a hole in the side of his boat.
The story rang very familiar in my wife's ears.

[SkiprJohn]

Sww,
Good story. Small world. Is that MK3 or MM3? Was she Coastie or Navy?
Regards

[sww914]

THX!
She was a Coastie.
She rescued some Seals once though, her only contact with the Navy.
Seals don't like being rescued by a girl. At all.

[aboutgone]

I was in avionics A school in millington tn. left my locker open to go to the head...(we just got a newbee room mate in a week before)...and i had left my locker door cracked but not locked. as i was getting dresses and noticed that the cash i had on shelf was gone and the newbee was the only one in the room....i said " did you go in my locker and steal my cash"....he replied, no way!....and left the room....his locker was open,so i peeked in to see if i could find my cash and there was a bottle of Brute after shave there.didnt find my cash,but i opened his aftershave and pissed in it. watched him put it on his face for 3 months.ROFLMAO...a few months later he went to see the capt.(capt. mass) was brought up on charges for stealing from the PX........go figure

[HHNTR111]

I was in NROTC, and each summer we went for various Navy training. The summer between junior and senior year, we trained with the Marines, and they really enjoyed pushing the midshipmen around. On the final morning, just before we got on the bus for the airport, there was a final inspection. The Gunnery Sargeant in charge was giving us a hard time. I was in the third squad, last rank.

He said. "You bunch of $$^&(&('s are never getting liberty". I said, "Give us liberty or give us death", and the snickers started. Since I was in the last rank, he couldn't see who had committed this blasphemy, so he shouted, "Who said that!!!", and I said. "Patrick Henry", followed by howls of laughter from all around. At that, he realized that it was over, we were dismissed, and we were free. Everyone, including all the other Marines thought it was great, except the gunny.

[ViribusUnitis]

Originally Posted by SkiprJohn

Alcohol free beer! Decaf coffee! I know they didn't have such things in Europe or in Asia back in the 70s and 80s. Is it only in America?

What's the point?

How about let's sell some inflammable gasoline?

JohnL

Just a quick note. Regular old gasoline is inflammable.

Nonflammable gasoline is the special stuff that doesn't burn.

[cosmosmariner]

Originally Posted by HHNTR111

I was in NROTC, and each summer we went for various Navy training. The summer between junior and senior year, we trained with the Marines, and they really enjoyed pushing the midshipmen around. On the final morning, just before we got on the bus for the airport, there was a final inspection. The Gunnery Sargeant in charge was giving us a hard time. I was in the third squad, last rank.

He said. "You bunch of $$^&(&('s are never getting liberty". I said, "Give us liberty or give us death", and the snickers started. Since I was in the last rank, he couldn't see who had committed this blasphemy, so he shouted, "Who said that!!!", and I said. "Patrick Henry", followed by howls of laughter from all around. At that, he realized that it was over, we were dismissed, and we were free. Everyone, including all the other Marines thought it was great, except the gunny.

This is great!!! Made my day....I nearly fell out of my chair laughing...read it to my wife and she did the same!!! Thanks!

[BubbleHeadMd]

Originally Posted by cosmosmariner

As a Radioman (RM) in the late '60s early '70s we used 1800 ft open reels of paper tape about an inch wide punched with 5 holes across the tape.

Cosmos,

The Navy was slow to upgrade. I was a submarine RM from the '90's to '01 and well into the 90's we STILL had and actually used that punch-tape.

Oh, and funny stuff that I sent newbies to look for: sound-powered phone batteries.