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Old 30-04-2020, 13:50   #16
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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Originally Posted by Hobiehobie View Post
It seems you are glossing over a major barrier: your wife does not want to sail full time until one or both of you cannot. My partner and I quit corporate race at 50, and he was reluctant to take off on a boat, so we compromised and decided to sail for 5-6 months and stay in our house for the northern summers, taking the late fall October, November December to travel before heading back to the boat. Works really well. Neither of us would ever want to be full-time cruisers, although there are many people who love it!. And we have a house that we can fall back on if for some reason we cannot or do not want to sail. I would carefully consider whether you really want to be a full time cruiser, and carefully and thoroughly discuss this with your wife. And also, if you are a corporate go-getter type you will last about two weeks with nothing to do! You will need to channel that energy into something else or you will go crazy...even if its manic engine maintenance, stainless polishing, learning new skills, writing a blog, splicing or organizing charitable activities.
Financially I don't want to keep our house and I also just want to disconnect from all responsibilities. I have no intention of coming back. I think we would sail until found a place outside USA and said this is it, let's sell the boat and stay here. Looking forward to being bored, fear not I will find something to do even if that is nothing, it's my dream to do nothing.
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Old 30-04-2020, 14:12   #17
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

When you cannot or, more likely, do not want to, sail anymore, you simply do something else.


This is why it is a good habit to cultivate all the skills gods gave you, and then try out a couple of things you suck at too. You may discover there is also life after life!


I hope to stop sailing when I am 55. This gives me 4 more years to do a handful of stupid things, like visiting the West Indies once more and catching the few tropical diseases I have not had yet. They say Dengue is at rage in French Guyana now, so I assume it will be a total epidemic in the Caribbean in the winter of 2020/-21.


If we make it back to Europe, I am sinking the boat and then moving on to our chalet in the Swiss Alps. Skiing, womanizing, drinking rhum and what name you.



Cheers,
b.
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Old 30-04-2020, 14:30   #18
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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Financially I don't want to keep our house and I also just want to disconnect from all responsibilities. I have no intention of coming back. I think we would sail until found a place outside USA and said this is it, let's sell the boat and stay here. Looking forward to being bored, fear not I will find something to do even if that is nothing, it's my dream to do nothing.
My spouse and I cruise full time for about 1/2 of each year, and we do other things the other half. We own no property, and have no other house other than our boat. So it's certainly possible to cruise part of the year, without the complications of having to own any land property.

As to your bigger question, about knowing how you will exit a cruising life even before you start; this seems odd to me. I suppose it's good to have some long-term plans, but I've always viewed anything out more than a few years as being more aspirational than something to count on. None of us knows the future, and it often surprises and confounds us. As they say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

I don't have an exit strategy for this part of my life. I might follow Jim's fine example, or I might not. Who knows. I know I'll figure something out when the time comes ... or I won't. Either way, problem solved .
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Old 30-04-2020, 14:47   #19
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what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

Mikentosh, I’m 71 and not done sailing yet. But I do sail less and not with as much physical bravado as I once did. After 40 years of sailing small and larger boats like “normal people” my wife and I rented out our house, gave up our slip and cast off the dock lines. We were out for 3 years and enjoyed every minute of it. Family issues and some health problems brought us back to shore. I was limited in getting around before and after knee replacement surgery but have recovered. So we were back to being “normal people” and sailing days, weekends and weeks. What we learned is that life is full. Life is an adventure. Excitement comes in big and small bites. It is more a matter of being open to it than going off and finding it.
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Old 30-04-2020, 15:17   #20
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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Originally Posted by Mikentosh View Post
Thanks for your reply. You sound like an older gentlemen? You have certainly lived an envious life.

I've been working my tail off in the corporate world for nearly 45 years and now 51 years old. I am done! But my wife is much younger and just starting her career and doesn't want to go with me.

My biggest hesitation is getting older and not being able to sail anymore. I just assume I would do similar you and find a small place to live out the rest of my life. I have this idea of sailing to Vietnam and ending our journey there.
Wait a minute. You completely ducked the question again. What is stronger: your desire to change your lifestyle or your love for your wife? Sounds more like a mid-life crisis question than a sailing question. You can't drag a wife just starting her career who doesn't want to go (unless maybe she works from home and needs no space for her work) along with you cruising and have a happy marriage. That is asking her to give up her dreams and aspirations to fulfill yours, and likely hers are more well formed and concrete. I'd recommend moving to a waterfront community where you can pursue some fulfilling day sailing but it doesn't sound like the sailing itself is actually what you are after.

My wife and I are cruisers because it is something we thought we could do together and enjoy, and that turned out to be the case. If either of us didn't want to do it, it just wouldn't work, no matter how much the other loved it. At some point, likely before we are looking up at a coffin lid as Jim put it, one of us will be "done" with cruising. At that point we will quit and find something else we can enjoy together.
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:00   #21
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

Stare fixedly up at the inside of your coffin lid...

Jim
That's a ridiculous statement!

There are so many more things that you can do.....

He's young enough that he could start training for his first triathlon! Or long distance cycling event, or marathon
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:02   #22
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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I've been moving at rocket speed too long. I'm looking forward to doing NOTHING!! At least a year of doing absolutely nothing. I'd be happy to just staring out into the abyss for a while.
You're only 55 I believe you said. You are still quite young to want to do nothing....

At this time, I'm having to re-qualify as a Computer Technician to keep my job even though I have been a manager since 1995.

The last computers I maintained were using DOS 3.2! They were 386 computers

I have to pass the 2 A+ exams just to keep my job and at the same time handle the transition of incoming company and out going company and do the interviews for new hires

These exams deal with all the newer stuff . mobile phones, servers , networks, command line knowledge (that I know) and all the rest of the computer world that has changed so much since 1995 and the thing is ......

it's been quite fun and I still have one test to go. (I'm mid 60's)

I think doing just sailing is too slow for some unless you have a real plan of how to spend your time

Plus it's hard to get in your long runs and cycling rides to stay in good shape....
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:07   #23
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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I've been working my tail off in the corporate world for nearly 45 years and now 51 years old.
Ok, you started work at 6 years old?
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:09   #24
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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My spouse and I cruise full time for about 1/2 of each year, and we do other things the other half. We own no property, and have no other house other than our boat. So it's certainly possible to cruise part of the year, without the complications of having to own any land property.

As to your bigger question, about knowing how you will exit a cruising life even before you start; this seems odd to me. I suppose it's good to have some long-term plans, but I've always viewed anything out more than a few years as being more aspirational than something to count on. None of us knows the future, and it often surprises and confounds us. As they say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

I don't have an exit strategy for this part of my life. I might follow Jim's fine example, or I might not. Who knows. I know I'll figure something out when the time comes ... or I won't. Either way, problem solved .
I would like to be a place in my life where I could have that kind of attitude, sounds refreshing. I like to see a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long the tunnel is, I need to see some sort of objective in my life or I would feel lost. Maybe I can get to this point of not worry so much about the future. I seel all these middle aged people on Youtube and how happy they are or at least pretend to be but I always think about the exit strategy.
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:16   #25
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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Originally Posted by barnakiel View Post
When you cannot or, more likely, do not want to, sail anymore, you simply do something else.


This is why it is a good habit to cultivate all the skills gods gave you, and then try out a couple of things you suck at too. You may discover there is also life after life!


I hope to stop sailing when I am 55. This gives me 4 more years to do a handful of stupid things, like visiting the West Indies once more and catching the few tropical diseases I have not had yet. They say Dengue is at rage in French Guyana now, so I assume it will be a total epidemic in the Caribbean in the winter of 2020/-21.


If we make it back to Europe, I am sinking the boat and then moving on to our chalet in the Swiss Alps. Skiing, womanizing, drinking rhum and what name you.



Cheers,
b.
Combining sailing, womanizing, drinking beer and wine, skiing (and snowboarding) is how I’ve managed to stay sane after retiring at 59. I was insane before retiring. I hope the last thing I see is not the underside of a coffin lid, but an intimate view of a lovely amiga or two. Toss my body in the garbage afterwards.
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:16   #26
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

So why does it have to be either a full time liveaboard cruiser, or a land dweller without a boat? We own a decent-sized cat, that is currently docked behind our house. We day sail, and occassionally do short trips. Every other year, we head from Texas to the Bahamas for a few months, then back. In off years, we also travel (airplanes, international and domestic). We are solid cruisers on our trips, competitive racers on occassion, and enjoy just letting the wind fill the sails. Theres no shame in having time off the boat. It doesnt have to be an all or nothing existence. As a matter of fact, we meet more part time cruisers out there than full time liveaboards.
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Old 30-04-2020, 16:43   #27
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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That's a ridiculous statement!

There are so many more things that you can do.....

He's young enough that he could start training for his first triathlon! Or long distance cycling event, or marathon
i think what jim is saying is that he will be sailing until he dies

if you knew jim, you would know that is not a ridiculous statement (although i can see that it is not the answer for everyone)

cheers,
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Old 30-04-2020, 17:12   #28
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

Best solution would be ocean front property with a comfortable solar powered house, that has a dock to keep your comfortable boat, and then travel a few years, return for the Winters. When your too old for the boat, sell it and stay in the house until your medical or mental faculties fail you, then sell it, buy an apartment near a hospital, and wait it out watching netflix.
Or just go nuts one day, get in your boat, and sail it into the nearest Hurricane, it would be exciting at the end, no doubt about it.
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Old 30-04-2020, 17:14   #29
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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Wait a minute. You completely ducked the question again. What is stronger: your desire to change your lifestyle or your love for your wife? Sounds more like a mid-life crisis question than a sailing question. You can't drag a wife just starting her career who doesn't want to go (unless maybe she works from home and needs no space for her work) along with you cruising and have a happy marriage. That is asking her to give up her dreams and aspirations to fulfill yours, and likely hers are more well formed and concrete. I'd recommend moving to a waterfront community where you can pursue some fulfilling day sailing but it doesn't sound like the sailing itself is actually what you are after.

My wife and I are cruisers because it is something we thought we could do together and enjoy, and that turned out to be the case. If either of us didn't want to do it, it just wouldn't work, no matter how much the other loved it. At some point, likely before we are looking up at a coffin lid as Jim put it, one of us will be "done" with cruising. At that point we will quit and find something else we can enjoy together.
Good points. My partner and I spent an entire night sitting on the dock next to our small and ill-equipped sailboat while my son slept below. We charted out a dream that turned into a plan, that we both believed in and worked towards. 10 years later we achieved the first part of that plan, moving to a waterfront location in the Pacific Northwest. 5 years after that we realized the dream. We moved on to our new sailboat and sailed off for a 4 year adventure. The point is that we were both committed to it from the beginning, so we didn't begrudge the sacrifices made or the opportunities missed in working towards it. You both have to be 100% committed to have a hope of it working out - and many couples who ARE 100% committed find after a few months that it is just not what they had envisaged. There are lots of "plans changed boat for sale" ads out there.
~Alan
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Old 30-04-2020, 17:34   #30
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Re: what do you do when you can't sail anymore?

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i think what jim is saying is that he will be sailing until he dies

if you knew jim, you would know that is not a ridiculous statement (although i can see that it is not the answer for everyone)

cheers,
Yep, Chris, that's what I was on about... I thought it was pretty obvious!

And agreed that it isn't for everyone... but then, the question in the OP was "what do YOU do when..." and I was answering that question for me... if I'm lucky. Reality may intervene and spoil my plan!

And Thomm, there is more to life and ambition than endless exercise and beach cats.

Jim
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