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Old 18-02-2018, 20:11   #421
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Ann, I think the problem we all have is to react to the lowest common denominator, or to be fair, our interpretation of what that person posted.

Whenever some post really gets me I say..."Perfect time to Ignore" or like Boatie ....have fun with it.
There is not much I would change in CF.

We have just been thru 2 tough Threads on Male/Female introspection well represened by both sides and a few PTWTI posts to get over.
Yet we're stall talking
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Old 18-02-2018, 20:16   #422
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Originally Posted by weavis View Post
So lets move and discuss more solid things regarding how to make CF a more encompassing place....

statistically, CF is the largest boating forum on the web. Approx 5000 people a day visit....

Some of the members insist on breaking the rules.

We ask for language control, and yet.......
We ask for politeness, and yet.....
We ask for self control in discussions and yet......
We ask for no name calling and yet...
We ask for no public questioning of moderation taken. Please write the mods if you have a problem and yet.................

Without any moderation, CF would be a battle ground.

Without the help and co operation of the members, the mod team have to step in. Then ironically if we allow a situation, we get accused of not doing our job.

Let me tell something. If everyone followed the rules, did not use CF to further their own agendas, and just discussed, you would not see us for dust.

It doesnt happen. That is not our fault. Everyone agrees to the rules when joining. The mods have to step in when they are broken.

Recently, I had to write a member and remind that the use of language on CF was explained in the rules. Then I removed a second post and informed that he could write me and edit his post to conform. I was told that he had self edited the original post,and he felt his freedom of speech had been infringed.


oh well.

We do our best.
Should this be part of a new thread?

It seems that 'Freedom of Speech' is different things to different people. For me freedom of speech is not an absolute, it is not carte blanche freedom. It's ironic that in a day that has largely abandoned any philosophy of moral absolutes, many are very quick to appeal to this idea "free speech" as if it was just that- a moral absolute. To me and I suspect many others- Free speech means I can say what I want, as long as it is respectful and polite and hopefully and even better- based on reason, or opinion based on good reason and experience. It doesn't involve slagging or slander, belittling, ad hominem attacks etc. On the other hand, I don't think that we should tolerate the flip side where people get "offended" simply and for no other reason than that others have a different worldview, or that ones opinion is diametrically opposed to yours. As someone has said Tolerance taken as an absolute, is intolerable and gives rise to bullying or despotism- this is partly why minorities can raise such havoc today. Reason would suggest that minorities, (as in those that hold a minority point of view) are just that because most people don't see things that way. And yet such is the age we live in that they are afforded the most ridiculous concessions as to weild power out of all proportion to their number. But then we cannot afford to ignore the minority either, just as those who never kept slaves were once in a minority, we need to accommodate, sometimes even celebrate minorities. Sometimes we can learn a lot from a minority. Which in a roundabout way brings us right back to the role of the mods. Thank you for moderating our comments, and keeping us from extremes, though I will be miffed if you think this topic is offtrack, too long and cut it out of this discussion.

But I digress.

As with all human institutions, mods are necessary and we thank them for a generally great job, though I don't always agree with them. The difficulty for mods is where language contains innuendo, veiled threats that sort of thing. We need mods to show us where the line is, though we may sometimes disagree. But I guess you soon get to know who has a history and is sailing too close to the wind, (my attempt at keeping within the bounds of acceptable nauticspeak) and act appropriately. I think there are a few who shoot from the hip, to speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming.

While this thread has gone in all sorts of direction not directly associated with it's subject, I think generally it has been interesting and am glad it hasn't been shut down, though sounds like it's been lots of work for the mods.
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Old 18-02-2018, 21:46   #423
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Originally Posted by JPA Cate View Post
SNIP!
Now, I am not intending this as an attack, but the timing of the question about what women do when they need to urinate really put me off. Why it put me off is related to how I was conditioned as a girl child, and is personal, but may not be unique. However, I do not mind answering the question, and I, too, think the thread needs to move on. When I need to pee, I come below and use the head. I would not do this anywhere crowded, when I need to be on watch every second. If I were singlehanded, I'd be using an empty mayonnaise jar with a good lid.

I cannot answer the watch schedule question, as I have never sailed singlehanded.

Ann

PS. It is really hard to see one's own biases, but I think gamayun's advice to use to look into them is a really good one. It is something I think all people, including me need to do.
Wow, This brings back memories. Basic bodily functions are skills that need be learned. And when one is in unusual conditions those basic bodily function skills take on a new meaning.

I can think of half a dozen noteworthy examples but will relate only one.

I was on a climb of Mt Hood's North Face Cleaver one winter. The North Face Cleaver is about 2800' of 60 degree hard snow and Ice. There are a number of 90 degree frozen waterfalls on the route and other steep sections.

There was one gal on the the climb (Let's call her E) and she is a great climber (I've climbed Aconcagua with her hand her husband and her ex).

Anyway, E had been bitching and moaning for the last hour or so and we had been teasing her. Really at this level of climbing there is teamwork and very little if any male/female ********.

E really had been whining a lot and then out of the blue (on a 70 degree section about 2000' above the Eliot Glacier) E shouts out:

" God Damn it Ethan, teach me how to take a crap!"

(Mods sorry about the swearing - It is really part of the story)

E had been holding it in for ages hoping to find a flatter place to take care of it. But there was none and it became unbearable. You can die if you make a mistake.

So I walked her step by step through how to safely take a dump on really steep ice. I checked every thing she did to be sure it was right and safe. There was no modesty - this was life or death climbing.

If there is a point here it is that guys and gals both take a dump much the same but guys do not know anything about how gals take a pee. Guys have questions and need to "think it through" to see the differences.

Pee bottle? Darn right I use a pee bottle. I mark mine well and know the size it needs to be. I really do not want to get out of my sleeping bag at 30 below zero. Gals do the same but need to sit up. They sell anotimically shaped funnels but I really have no experience with those.

Not sure there is anything to take from this post but there it is. And looking back it is funny. I can really feel for E's situation.
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Old 18-02-2018, 21:52   #424
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by JPA Cate View Post



Now, I am not intending this as an attack, but the timing of the question about what women do when they need to urinate really put me off. Why it put me off is related to how I was conditioned as a girl child, and is personal, but may not be unique. However, I do not mind answering the question, and I, too, think the thread needs to move on. When I need to pee, I come below and use the head. I would not do this anywhere crowded, when I need to be on watch every second. If I were singlehanded, I'd be using an empty mayonnaise jar with a good lid.

I cannot answer the watch schedule question, as I have never sailed singlehanded.

Ann

PS. It is really hard to see one's own biases, but I think gamayun's advice to use to look into them is a really good one. It is something I think all people, including me need to do.
My question was indeed genuine.
We were moving a boat about 4 miles, and one of the people helping was a woman. Not a boater and was with one of the other hands that the owner invited.
I was in the galley making some coffee, the owner was forward fixing something and no idea where the male was, but somewhere along the line the woman was piloting.

I came up with the coffee and no one was to be seen! Fortunately all was well but.. where was the watch? Gone to the bathroom, not told anyone, and we were effectively not under control for 15 minutes. in a coastal passage.

I sail single handedly mostly and for a male, even in coastal areas, the call of nature can be responded to over the side. It must be more difficult for a female. I got thinking that perhaps a purpose built commode system would be useful. My mind actually started to design one...
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Old 18-02-2018, 21:59   #425
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Originally Posted by weavis View Post

....
I was in the galley making some coffee, the owner was forward fixing something and no idea where the male was, but somewhere along the line the woman was piloting.

I came up with the coffee and no one was to be seen! Fortunately all was well but.. where was the watch? Gone to the bathroom, not told anyone, and we were effectively not under control for 15 minutes. in a coastal passage.
:
That dammed coffee will get you every time!
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:01   #426
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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That dammed coffee will get you every time!


It was not my vessel so I assumed the owner would be watchful... big mistake.

Coffee was good though.
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:07   #427
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

This is currently in my eBay checkout box. I can't wait for it to arrive so I can wee away off the stern all I want, hahaha!!!

https://goo.gl/images/sr1RcB
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:22   #428
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Same with me. I once passed the watch to my wife so that i could go below to pee.

When I came back on deck there was a buoy passing to our stern about 10' off the side of the boat.

My wife was reading and glancing up once in a while. She did not realize the need to keep an active watch. She does now. It actually shook her to the bones when she realized how close we came to a collision.

She calls it one of her best learning experiences.
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:24   #429
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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This is currently in my eBay checkout box. I can't wait for it to arrive so I can wee away off the stern all I want, hahaha!!!

https://goo.gl/images/sr1RcB
That's the ticket! Climber gals (and sailor gals) rule!
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:27   #430
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

I have to attach an image since the ebay listing will go away.
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:36   #431
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

There is something just, unsettling about that image.
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:46   #432
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Once got caught with food poisoning on a solo overnight passage. Fever, puking and evacuations everywhere... sat on a bucket next to the tiller the entire time for 7 hours. Worked well.
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:48   #433
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Occasionally my wife and daughter say they just can't go below to use the head for number 1 due to feeling sick, so I took a big square bucket, cut a pool noodle to fit the edge, and now we are all much happier.
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Old 18-02-2018, 22:51   #434
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Found this.

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Old 18-02-2018, 23:06   #435
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

I give up.... what is pool noodle?
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