Cruisers Forum
 


Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 17-02-2018, 22:04   #376
Registered User
 
Exile's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Land of Disenchantment
Boat: Bristol 47.7
Posts: 5,170
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
I was under the impression you're male? If so, then obviously it wasn't meant for you, not sure why the need to comment at all.

Some (probably also male) mentioned they thought it was sexist, maybe they were just taking the p1ss.
In other words, it's not appropriate for a man to have an opinion that your post was not sexist but rather complementary towards women? How about the opinion of a woman who similarly believed it was flattery and not derogatory? Would that be inappropriate too, or do such women not exist in your world? And the male posters you mention who apparently thought it was in fact sexist? They're "just taking the piss," i.e. not allowed to comment either because they're not women? Is there not any curiosity about how different people can look at the same post and reach opposite conclusions? Or is such diversity of opinion unsettling for you & your narrative?

It's good to have you around John, since it reveals where identity politics can ultimately take us.
Exile is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:11   #377
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1,038
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by weavis View Post
Is there a preference for woman in terms of times to stand watch, and how long is comfortable for them when crewing? HOw do they deal with taking a whizz when on watch?
Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
maybe they were just taking the p1ss.
NOW we are back on topic!!
I doubt many women were ever found MOB with their fly open. This seems to be a male hazard only.
cyan is offline   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:14   #378
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,534
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by JPA Cate View Post
Hello, everyone,

I'm not sure how much I want to say here, but kudos to Gamayun, she nailed why I quit posting here for a while, and it took weavis' apology to bring me back. Thank you, weavis.

This link, previously posted by john61ct, may help some of you who want to see, for me it almost completely explains why this thread went so awry: https://amp.theguardian.com/sustaina...ible-privilege

John also posted some other links: I am pretty sure those would be pretty threatening to many of the people (both genders) on here, and you might want to give them a miss.

For those who want to see, thanks.

And @ Gadagirl, thank you for putting the plea for focusing on the positive. There are many reasons to do so, and I am glad that you are. I strive for love and compassion, as well as fun. Still have a long way to go.

Ann
Ann, thanks for coming back....we need you!

..And John, thanks for posting that article, which I just read.
It did make me feel complacent and guilty, but mostly ignorant.

As i never had any children-daughters or even sisters my own age, I merrily assumed that while these career obstacles were real, it was generally getting better.

I guess that is like saying..." I'm only bleeding half as much".

The woman on CF are powerful and smart, time for me to listen more carefully
Pelagic is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:24   #379
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Bellingham
Boat: Outbound 44
Posts: 8,520
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by cyan View Post
NOW we are back on topic!!
I doubt many women were ever found MOB with their fly open. This seems to be a male hazard only.
Quote:
French solo sailing star Florence Arthaud fell off her boat during a toilet break but was saved from the Mediterranean waters by rescuers after she called her mother by mobile phone.
Female solo sailor saved by mobile phone after falling overboard - Telegraph
Paul L is offline   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:35   #380
Registered User
 
Exile's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Land of Disenchantment
Boat: Bristol 47.7
Posts: 5,170
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by JPA Cate View Post
Hello, everyone,

I'm not sure how much I want to say here, but kudos to Gamayun, she nailed why I quit posting here for a while, and it took weavis' apology to bring me back. Thank you, weavis.

This link, previously posted by john61ct, may help some of you who want to see, for me it almost completely explains why this thread went so awry: https://amp.theguardian.com/sustaina...ible-privilege

John also posted some other links: I am pretty sure those would be pretty threatening to many of the people (both genders) on here, and you might want to give them a miss.

For those who want to see, thanks.

And @ Gadagirl, thank you for putting the plea for focusing on the positive. There are many reasons to do so, and I am glad that you are. I strive for love and compassion, as well as fun. Still have a long way to go.

Ann
I re-read the Guardian article Ann, and it frankly talks about a number of things. I assumed you were referring us to one of its main themes, namely the invisibility of gender discrimination. So to that end, it might be more productive to point to specific posts which you or others feel are unduly hostile or overly aggressive towards women generally, thereby making them "visible." That is, after all, how the mods encourage us to deal with posts that violate forum rules, i.e. by reporting them. It would also make it much clearer what is deemed acceptable or not, and people can deal with it accordingly.

The alternative is to leave these generalized complaints out there without any guidance as to how things may be improved. As Dale's frustration in his recent post revealed, there are probably more than just a few of us who are surprised & disappointed about the double standards that have been allowed to fester. Having been around here awhile, I cannot imagine that similarly derogatory comments directed towards "all" women from male posters would be allowed to stand.
Exile is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:37   #381
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Easton, MD
Boat: 15' Catboat, Bristol 35.5
Posts: 3,090
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul L View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyan View Post
NOW we are back on topic!!
I doubt many women were ever found MOB with their fly open. This seems to be a male hazard only.
Quote:
French solo sailing star Florence Arthaud fell off her boat during a toilet break but was saved from the Mediterranean waters by rescuers after she called her mother by mobile phone.Female solo sailor saved by mobile phone after falling overboard - Telegraph
Boy, doesn't that speak volumes!!!!!!!!!!!
kmacdonald is offline   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:42   #382
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,534
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by kmacdonald View Post
Boy, doesn't that speak volumes!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you have your volume turned up too loud
Pelagic is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:50   #383
Registered User
 
Exile's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Land of Disenchantment
Boat: Bristol 47.7
Posts: 5,170
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Ann, thanks for coming back....we need you!

..And John, thanks for posting that article, which I just read.
It did make me feel complacent and guilty, but mostly ignorant.

As i never had any children-daughters or even sisters my own age, I merrily assumed that while these career obstacles were real, it was generally getting better.

I guess that is like saying..." I'm only bleeding half as much".

The woman on CF are powerful and smart, time for me to listen more carefully
Good grief Pelagic. It's an opinion piece that's short on research & long on anecdote. Could be all true but at least balance it out with objective stats previously cited about the huge gains for women in college & post-grad admissions, as well as in many of the major professions. Your assumption was likely correct in that it's generally getting better but obstacles remain.
Exile is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 22:53   #384
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,534
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by Exile View Post
... As Dale's frustration in his recent post revealed, there are probably more than just a few of us who are surprised & disappointed about the double standards that have been allowed to fester. Having been around here awhile, I cannot imagine that similarly derogatory comments directed towards "all" women from male posters would be allowed to stand.
Until you have walked in another person's shoes, its pretty hard to understand "exactly" how they feel.

Add different chromosome makeup and the infinite variety of personalities of both genders and I think you would agree it is pretty hard to come up with generalities.

If I understood correctly the key point that the ladies are making

..Is that we men try to 'LISTEN' instead of "Already listening"
Correct me if I'm wrong Ann
Pelagic is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 23:05   #385
Registered User
 
Exile's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Land of Disenchantment
Boat: Bristol 47.7
Posts: 5,170
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Until you have walked in another person's shoes, its pretty hard to understand "exactly" how they feel.

Absolutely. Which is why I suggested pointing out specific posts. Since we're wearing different shoes, we shouldn't be expected to guess how their shoes fit.

Add different chromosome makeup and the infinite variety of personalities of both genders and I think you would agree it is pretty hard to come up with generalities.

Agreed, but it's not hard to see the generalities as applied negatively to men, and they have been repeatedly identified. The complaints about hostile & aggressive posts generally directed against women have yet to be pointed out.

If I understood correctly the key point that the ladies are making

..Is that we men try to 'LISTEN' instead of "Already listening"
Correct me if I'm wrong Ann
I don't doubt that the complaints are sincere, but don't know which posts they find offensive towards women generally. When an entire group of people (i.e. men) are repeatedly stereotyped there's bound to be some pushback. By CF standards, it didn't seem inappropriate but, as you correctly say, I'm not in their shoes.
Exile is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 23:07   #386
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1,038
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look



OMG,
I stand (?) corrected!
cyan is offline   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 23:08   #387
Moderator
 
weavis's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK-Mallorca
Posts: 13,278
Send a message via Skype™ to weavis
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

[QUOTE=daletournier;2579712
In regards to losing ladies from the thread or forum in general, it's not only ladies. I glanced over at sailnet the other day and there was a great thread started by Markj regarding crossing to Europe, remember him? He was a long time contributor here, over 12,000 posts. Well we missed out on that information in that great thread because he's no longer here. Why? Turns out he advertised for some female crew here on Cf, copped a whole lot of slack from the over sensitive types, wasn't supported by the mods and now dosent take part in this forum, our loss. So before you go "the poor ladies" get bullied out if this place by to much "testosterone" etc here's a bloke that would never be considered to "sensitive" that's not returning, he's not comfortable here.... once again our loss.[/QUOTE]

With respect, from my perspective, that is not true. Two sides to everything.
__________________
- Never test how deep the water is with both feet -
10% of conflicts are due to different opinions. 90% by the tone of voice.
Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
weavis is offline   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 23:09   #388
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,534
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

I think the best solution for this thread is to just move on with a bit better sensitivity and acceptance to the fact that we white middle class males have in fact had a privledged existence
Pelagic is online now   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 23:21   #389
Moderator
 
weavis's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK-Mallorca
Posts: 13,278
Send a message via Skype™ to weavis
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
(Quote) Its not burble Phil when it concerns individuals. Look at our own catamaran owner who took his family round the world, kid got sick, went to drs, docs cleared him and then the child got sick again and they had to be rescued... so much gossip and talk and opinions that no one knows the truth about what really happened. Only he does and at this point, RH will not talk about it again because the prejudice, correct or not is there. (Quote)

If by RH you mean Rebel Heart you got some things wrong there..
It was not a catamaran but a poorly fixed up monohull he'd been fixing up in Cali then had to do more work on it in Mexico to try and make it seaworthy..
They set of from Mexico, got 700 or so miles out and had to be rescued because the boat was in trouble.. the speculation was whether the child really was as sick as claimed.
Chinese whispers do that.. each time someone else tells the tale..
Funny I knew it was a Hans Christian 36 but somehow I was multi tasking at the time of writing. Apologies. The point remains that NO one know quite what happened.

Thanks for the actual correction.
__________________
- Never test how deep the water is with both feet -
10% of conflicts are due to different opinions. 90% by the tone of voice.
Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
weavis is offline   Reply
Old 17-02-2018, 23:33   #390
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Easton, MD
Boat: 15' Catboat, Bristol 35.5
Posts: 3,090
Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
I think the best solution for this thread is to just move on with a bit better sensitivity and acceptance to the fact that we white middle class males have in fact had a privledged existence
Really? Care to back that up with facts, any facts? White middle class males have been denied promotions due to affirmative action and quotas for decades. I can't begin to tell you how many times I was told I had to hire or promote a black female. Calling it "sensitivity" doesn't make discrimination right. The colleges in this country were told by the courts that their practice of "diversity" was in fact discrimination against whites and they paid dearly for their actions. Let's not make the same mistake with "sensitivity".
kmacdonald is offline   Reply
Closed Thread

Tags
cruising, living aboard, men, single

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. 2hullvenus Liveaboard's Forum 2544 29-01-2020 13:08

Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 18:32.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.