Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by weavis

Well if y'awl stop blaming us fer everything......... this included, and actually told us what you like in a man instead of what you dont, and not givin us hope for nuthin' We'd put on a clean shirt and drawers and try a bit harder....

Hey, I like you guys, even the weird ones. You ask for opinions, we have some, and then we get a lot of push back because they don't comport with "your" perceptions. This hot topic doesn't bother me (I love provocation) but it loses all the ones you probably do want to hear from and whobwould likely balance the extremes you hear. I'm not saying you guys should shut the heck up, but maybe you guys should dial the heck back a bit. For once. Ya know?

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by daletournier

You just did.

DOH....

[weavis]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Hey, I like you guys, even the weird ones. You ask for opinions, we have some, and then we get a lot of push back because they don't comport with "your" perceptions. This hot topic doesn't bother me (I love provocation) but it loses all the ones you probably do want to hear from and whobwould likely balance the extremes you hear. I'm not saying you guys should shut the heck up, but maybe you guys should dial the heck back a bit. For once. Ya know?

I havent seen push back. Im sure if your perception that there is makes it so, and for that, we genuinely apologise.

Which leads me to another observation that if equality is what you are seeking, then you have to muscle in, thats part of the deal.....

You have the floor. Genuinely.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by daletournier

You just did.

See!!!!! (Extra exclamation becauses the forum doesn't like pithy answers.)

[weavis]

Originally Posted by sailorchic34

DOH....

You made me laugh SC.. Perfect comeback.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by gamayun

See!!!!! (Extra exclamation becauses the forum doesn't like pithy answers.)

I had to put my glasses on to be sure you spelled pithy right...

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by weavis

I havent seen push back. Im sure if your perception that there is makes it so, and for that, we genuinely apologise.

Which leads me to another observation that if equality is what you are seeking, then you have to muscle in, thats part of the deal.....

You have the floor. Genuinely.

Weavis, I do muscle, believe me. That's why you hear from me and only a few others. I bet there are plenty of women who read this post and just don't want to be clobbered for expressing their thoughts. But it's not just this thread. It's these forums in general. The "hostility" part is very off-putting for many women. What would they get out of contributing anyway? The thread was started by a man, who wanted to tell his daughter about living aboard. Ironic, too, no? I can tell you, a 20-yo woman these days has more chutzpah and gumption than a dozen of women combined who are my age. She doesn't need to read about a bunch of middle-aged women on boats. She can see what her peers are doing on vlogs and elsewhere. It's not so much a matter of "how" to do it but "when." If she wants it, of course. The world is her apple like no other time...

[weavis]

We had just a car crash bad in front of clinica. Dr G has gone. He ask to mail this. sorry for poor english.

I dont know how any of us make lasting relationships in this day and age. Sometimes it seems our parents were the last generation to make them work.
It is very sad.

[kmacdonald]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Hey, I like you guys, even the weird ones. You ask for opinions, we have some, and then we get a lot of push back because they don't comport with "your" perceptions. This hot topic doesn't bother me (I love provocation) but it loses all the ones you probably do want to hear from and whobwould likely balance the extremes you hear. I'm not saying you guys should shut the heck up, but maybe you guys should dial the heck back a bit. For once. Ya know?

Lets get a drink. I'll buy.

[boatman61]

Its a Brave New World..
The Old Edicts are fading into antiquity.. marriage is seen for what it was.. legal title under church and state..
Even in my time people were choosing to live together rather than marry.. some bowed to family pressure and married after 10 or more years co-habiting only to be divorced in a few years..
Reasons were oh so similar because the dynamics had changed.. others resisted family and peer pressure and are hitting their 25th year together.. go figure.
Education is wide open now thanks to the net and kids can see that there's ways to live other than what their state programs them into thinking is 'The Only Way'.. why dya think there's this sudden panic about the Big Providers.. sod all to do with the phoney 'rigged election' bull.
Kinda insulting to the population to say millions of peoples thoughts and decisions can be influenced in things like Brexit by 13 people posting spoof posts on FB.. but thats the Elite for ya..
Don't be Donny the...

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by weavis

We had just a car crash bad in front of clinica. Dr G has gone. He ask to mail this. sorry for poor english.

I dont know how any of us make lasting relationships in this day and age. Sometimes it seems our parents were the last generation to make them work.
It is very sad.

Yet, lots of people do form lasting relationships! And many of our parents were divorced or had horrible relationships....

Let's see if this helps. Zee made extremely generalized comments that she applied (or tried not to depending on who was defending her) to all single male sailors. When she was called harshly for it, there were a lot of females who rushed to defend. I found Zee's comments off-base and not reflecting, at all, the males I meet on the water or on my dock (and I'm in a "rough" part of Oakland). I chose to not respond directly to her statements because there were plenty of others that piled on, even though I do love provocation. Just not that kind. She has her opinions and they were formed by whatever experiences, but they are just that. Let her state them and the rest of us (women) can move on with other thoughts about our experiences. Instead, we get bogged down with 300 posts about what 'single men on boats' are really like. I truly do understand where you are coming from, Weavis, when you say that comments hurt. I have heard of people who have committed suicide over the pain they suffer from others' words. It hurts me. It also hurts me when people are extreme in their thinking, but if you want women to say what they think, then sit back and just listen a bit. Think very carefully about the critique that you really want to post. I am all for NOT censuring anyone and I do love these debates because it makes me think "why do I think this way" but you're going to lose the other voices that you say you want to hear if you guys don't dial it back a bit.

As to relationships, if I had that figured out, I'd explain that one to you, too. In a woman-splaining way

And never question me about my spelling! I'm a good spellor.

[Paul Elliott]

Originally Posted by gamayun

I'm not saying you guys should shut the heck up, but maybe you guys should dial the heck back a bit. For once. Ya know?

I hope you can understand why, especially in the current political / social climate, men may be a just a little bit sensitive when someone seems to say that all men on boats are sexual abusers, pedophiles, etc. And then the reaction when we protest is "if the shoe fits..." The pushback seems to be all related to that particular accusatory post. Otherwise, I think we men have been fairly restrained.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by kmacdonald

Lets get a drink. I'll buy.

Mac, even you I'd enjoy meeting and having a drink with....but you know if would only be once and only one, right

[Exile]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Weavis, I do muscle, believe me. That's why you hear from me and only a few others. I bet there are plenty of women who read this post and just don't want to be clobbered for expressing their thoughts. But it's not just this thread. It's these forums in general. The "hostility" part is very off-putting for many women. What would they get out of contributing anyway?

I can vouch for the fact that you muscle at times. It's OK with me, in fact comments like yours are all too familiar growing up with my 3 older sisters. It does make me feel bad, however, to think that this thread and especially forums in general are oft-putting to women because they are perceived as hostile. I'm not doubting your perceptions mind you, and it might explain why more women haven't chimed in about their experiences living aboard. But I would also urge you to look at the way you & others have stereotyped guys in general. Some of us may lash out a bit because we feel we've been burned, but women lash out for the same reasons. But our respective words don't necessarily mean we treat the opposite gender poorly, whether in relationships or in general, or otherwise live up to the worst of the stereotypes we are all too often accused of around here. I'm not saying that women fearing being "clobbered" for their input isn't real, only that you may want to look at your own input as perhaps provoking such "clobbering." Again, it's that "equality" thing . . . it comes with a responsibility not to invoke double standards to try & protect yourselves.

As an example, remember how some of these comments from John61 & others early on got jumped on as being sexist/chauvinistic? John and I have our differences, but I would never imagine from his posts that he's a male chauvinist or otherwise doesn't respect women! Sometimes it's best to look a little behind the mere words and consider the actual intent. But then that's the inherent problem with political correctness . . . .

Originally Posted by john61ct

I'd love to meet one that

single-hands across oceans

and also pulls off the girly-girl routine, little cocktail dress, stilettos, the lot when she feels like it.

Not saying she'd have any interest in me mind you, just saying I'd genuinely love to get to know her.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Paul Elliott

I hope you can understand why, especially in the current political / social climate, men may be a just a little bit sensitive when someone seems to say that all men on boats are sexual abusers, pedophiles, etc. And then the reaction when we protest is "if the shoe fits..." The pushback seems to be all related to that particular accusatory post. Otherwise, I think we men have been fairly restrained.

Yeah, the past political/social climate has never been unfair to women.

That was meant to be snarky, by the way. All men are not sexual abusers, pedophiles, etc. We women have the brains to understand that. Truly, we do.