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Old 16-02-2018, 21:59   #316
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Lets try this on CF.

We can all treat each other as equal as sailors and actually discuss attitudes toward boating situations from each individual perspective.

By equal, I mean the love of the water and being on it. Some have more experience than other and we can share... remember sharing? Its a lot better than having to defend oneself against prejudice.
I think that is a great mindset to help improve communication

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.....
There's full time solo sailors and there's solo day sailors.. it like saying a hyena and a poodle are the same animal.
Maybe one day you will join us.. but from what you have said to date mud is vital to your existence and the sea is just a playground you'll go to now and then.
And there is nothing whatsoever wrong with that..
As a doctor.. take a chill pill amigo..
And then there is Boatie, who I think needs to take his own advice.

I came to this Forum at the very top of the Superyacht profession after years in command of Commercial, Square Riggers, Steam Ships, Cruise Ships, then Superyachts.

I started by doing what Boatie does now.

I do view him equally as a peer as we have both experienced the same weather, passages and tribulations.....(It's just that I got paid a hell of a lot better!)

Its the love of sailing and each person's own unique perspective that makes the Forum interesting..... Not who has the most tattoos
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Old 16-02-2018, 23:38   #317
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Wow.
I've just waded through this thread - thinking I might learn something to make life onboard better for a female partner.
Can't say that I did.

Came away a bit sad though. We only lived on board for 6 months last year -but during that time I think my two kids - 6 and 10 years old - probably met half the live aboard cruisers on the east coast of Australia. They would wander off in marinas, or take the dingy in an anchorage, and meet people.
Some were delightful, some indifferent, and some didn't want to be bugged by kids. But everyone was pleasant, and we never had any sense of risk.

It really does sadden me that there are those out living on boats that think my kids were in danger from the single males they met.

I only recall meeting three single males. One had my kids over for breakfast... and got embarrassed when my 10 YO sprung him rowing a young lady back to shore in the morning. One showed me how to make a desalination unit. One asked the kids to keep away from his boat while they were fishing. I'm pretty sure none of them were anything but nice people. Certainly we never thought twice about the kids exploring even in crowded anchorages in the Whitsundays.

Sometimes I sail by myself. Sometimes with just my kids. It really depresses me that some people would seem to assume as a single male with two preadolescence kids on board that I may be up to no good.
It saddens me further to think that if I'm sailing by myself and bump into a single woman somewhere, that she may be thinking such poor things of me as Zee suggests, if I was to offer sundowners, or a hand with something.

We had a couple of blokes ask for help last year - one with an anchor chain stuck in coral, another having lost something overboard. (we carried scuba gear) I'd hate to think that a single woman cruiser would have been hesitant to ask in the same situation.

Mike
Have kids - willing to share!
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Old 17-02-2018, 00:51   #318
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Mike
Have kids - willing to share!
Great post Mike that brings home the reality of cruising

A few on here are a bit guilty of hyperbole, exageratting for effect.

I think we all know that there are slime and sleaze in every dark corner of society...

But out cruising......your kids are pretty safe and here in Asia, they probably would be doted on by the locals
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Old 17-02-2018, 03:05   #319
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

SO starting anew.

Is there a preference for woman in terms of times to stand watch, and how long is comfortable for them when crewing? HOw do they deal with taking a whizz when on watch?
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Old 17-02-2018, 03:06   #320
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Great post Mike that brings home the reality of cruising

A few on here are a bit guilty of hyperbole, exageratting for effect.

I think we all know that there are slime and sleaze in every dark corner of society...

But out cruising......your kids are pretty safe and here in Asia, they probably would be doted on by the locals
I agree, in Asia you would know where you kid was at any time by the crowds around him...

Are you back from Singapore yet?
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Old 17-02-2018, 03:12   #321
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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I agree, in Asia you would know where you kid was at any time by the crowds around him...
My kids are blue eyed blonds. In the Sa pa region of northern Vietnam we lost sight of them ( 3 and 6 yo) within minutes of getting off the train.
We hired an au pair. Who actually just translated for us while the locals played with the kids. Wonderful folks.

Mike
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Old 17-02-2018, 07:52   #322
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pirate Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

Pelagic.. I'm chill.. in fact I was laughing my head off making my posts.. including the Gib Straits experience which is now hilarious in reflection.
As to the guy with two kids.. you are perfectly correct.. kids do thrive in the cruising environment and are welcomed in the main.. I have many friends who cruise with kids.. some do my head in when they hold a conversation in 3 or 4 languages mixed together.. but in the main they are better behaved and more polite and intelligent than their mud peers..
I was not saying things are virulent out there just giving examples of my experiences.. like the French owner of a 50ft Cat who offered me Ä200 to kiss my Missus in Barbatte.. me rich, you poor so wife must be whore.. idiots are everywhere.. its how you take things in your stride that counts.. in his case I had to carry him back to his boat after he tried drinking me under the table then collapsed on the pontoon.
I just think most of it is really funny.. and anyone who lets others get them riled up over nothing more than internet burble should not read or ask for opinions from others.
Also bear in mind.. I hang out in places like Sandy Ground and fishermens bars at ports all over.. not yacht clubs with the posh doctors, lawyers and the like who will tell you the price of their meal instead of what they actually ate.. so I see more of the seedy side of life than most here.
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Old 17-02-2018, 09:01   #323
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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I just think most of it is really funny.. and anyone who lets others get them riled up over nothing more than internet burble should not read or ask for opinions from others.
Quote:
Gamayun.. Finance's sometimes drive me to sail with owners.. and.. not all are bad.
But I have been known to have a gut full and get off somewhere down the line.. making sure I only get paid for work done and no ticket home as I'm leaving by choice.
I have even walked off before setting sail when on the morning of sailing the owner insisted he would be THE skipper even tho' I was hired as a delivery skipper.. this was last year.
I have a clean sheet with deliveries and intend to keep it that way.. no way am I copping the blame for someone else's bad decisions.
I dont think you have thought this through at all.

YOu like to keep a good clean reputation for deliveries. YOu dont think people should get upset or riled up from internet burble and you find it funny.

Here is the dichotomy of your statements. The internet will make you or ruin you. The information does not have to be true. One delivered boat owner can destroy your business just by placing comments in all the right places. If I were to look up your name when considering you as a delivery skipper, if I saw a consistent placement of comments everywhere I looked... then you dont get the job. You eventually start to get NO jobs when people who know people point to the comments to other people... DOne consistently and methodically, you will be destroyed.

I have been stalked for 12 years. Ive seen amazing things. My friends contacted, my business partners, my local police, the FBI. Ive seen chat rooms ive been member on suddenly have a version of my 'bad doings' splashed across threads. People who know me understand what is going on, people who dont back away. It has cost me thousands to get it cleaned up, and Im the innocent one.

Ive seen reputations destroyed this way. Lots of film actors, sportsmen, business men and even medical professionals.

Some comments consistently stated have even driven people to commit suicide.

Its not burble Phil when it concerns individuals. Look at our own catamaran owner who took his family round the world, kid got sick, went to drs, docs cleared him and then the child got sick again and they had to be rescued... so much gossip and talk and opinions that no one knows the truth about what really happened. Only he does and at this point, RH will not talk about it again because the prejudice, correct or not is there.

Dont be so quick to write it off as amusing. Your clean sheet will suddenly not be so clean.

Jes sayin'.

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Old 17-02-2018, 09:22   #324
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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Also bear in mind.. I hang out in places like Sandy Ground and fishermens bars at ports all over.. not yacht clubs with the posh doctors, lawyers and the like who will tell you the price of their meal instead of what they actually ate.. so I see more of the seedy side of life than most here.
I have only been a member of one yacht club and that was to get registration. It wasnt posh at all. The commodore was a Plumber.

When traveling, the yacht club is really the last place to go. I actually dont know the place you mentioned above, but I do go in all the local restaurants and bars away from the tourist traps mainly because the food is better and its cheaper. Im a Med guy so Tapas and beer or wine or even a decent coffee is where Im at. I wouldnt know a fishermans bar from any other bar in Spain or Italy...its all the same to me. I know places to be careful in.. lots of them.

If you are from the UK, a fight can break out anywhere posh or not so much. There are pubs I would avoid because of known elements...a few in Bristol to avoid muchly for different reasons, I dont do drugs so there are a couple I can think of avoiding to not be harrassed to buy or to be in when the police raid etc...

Ive been to one place on the west side of FLorida that scared me to death...

When I lived in southern Ireland, though known to be Irish, the accent would not be acceptable to pro IRA... Ive sense the atmosphere change as soon as I spoke so would drink the Guinness in 3 seconds and get the heck out.

Life is.
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Old 17-02-2018, 10:04   #325
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

To those coming on here hoping to get some insights for a partner or to hear what women actually think about living aboard, it is always curious to me as well when the testosterone takes over You see this on the "women's thread". If'n we still have one. It tends to shut the women up pretty quickly. This kind of banter is not their cuppa tea. Ironic, no?
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Old 17-02-2018, 10:10   #326
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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To those coming on here hoping to get some insights for a partner or to hear what women actually think about living aboard, it is always curious to me as well when the testosterone takes over You see this on the "women's thread". If'n we still have one. It tends to shut the women up pretty quickly. This kind of banter is not their cuppa tea. Ironic, no?
Well if y'awl stop blaming us fer everything......... this included, and actually told us what you like in a man instead of what you dont, and not givin us hope for nuthin' We'd put on a clean shirt and drawers and try a bit harder....

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Old 17-02-2018, 10:13   #327
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pirate Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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To those coming on here hoping to get some insights for a partner or to hear what women actually think about living aboard, it is always curious to me as well when the testosterone takes over You see this on the "women's thread". If'n we still have one. It tends to shut the women up pretty quickly. This kind of banter is not their cuppa tea. Ironic, no?
Yup.. start a thread seeking thoughts and opinions from single women on boats then chase them away and stick a 'Hot Topic' warning on it..
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Old 17-02-2018, 10:14   #328
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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To those coming on here hoping to get some insights for a partner or to hear what women actually think about living aboard, it is always curious to me as well when the testosterone takes over You see this on the "women's thread". If'n we still have one. It tends to shut the women up pretty quickly. This kind of banter is not their cuppa tea. Ironic, no?
^^^^Exactly, Why I'm not touching this thread with a 10 foot boat hook. WAY to much Testosterone on it.
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Old 17-02-2018, 10:21   #329
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

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^^^^Exactly, Why I'm not touching this thread with a 10 foot boat hook. WAY to much Testosterone on it.
You just did.
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Old 17-02-2018, 10:22   #330
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Re: Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

We are such losers boatie..........
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