Single Women Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by sailorcherry

Why don't you guys spend less time on this thread and go work on your boat projects or better yet go SAIL?!

PS- But before you do that, read Bill's response. It's spot on and some of you could really benefit by at least hearing him out.

No boat..
Wrong season..
No deliveries..
And its raining so don't fancy a hack down some country roads..

[JPA Cate]

Good morning, everyone.

Last night, I was thinking about cyan and his daughter, and in a way, I was sorry to have to reach back so far into the past, but I would like to name three women here, of whom I have met but one.

For your daughter, and if she is interested, cyan, she could take a look at Linda Weber-Rettie, from California, who singlehanded from SF to Japan, where she received a remarkable welcome, back in the 80's.

The other two, almost everyone has heard of: Isabelle Autissier and Ellen MacArthur, great athletes, great sailors, (although, imo, Isabelle was kinda hard on equipment).

Some friends' daughter went to maritime college here in Australia, within the last 10 years. She found at that time, a lot of male resistance to her efforts, as seems to be common, still, these days, actually, and she persisted, and toughened, and is currently employed as a ships officer. It took a lot of perseverance, and she was profoundly unhappy on occasion; but she attained her goal, and has now the career she wants.


Ann

[weavis]

As for me. I went down to the river, (on the boat) cooked Pasta and had 6 people come over and eat. Some red, some white.... beer and good company.

Before I came home. Manuels wife gave me a bag filled with veggies and fresh home made bread... a kiss on each cheek and a hug from all. We normally would sit and talk but everyone was busy tonight.. Madrid is playing.

Need to take a look at the anchor chain tomorrow and do a bit of greasing...

So now Im sat here looking at my plants thinking that when I come back from Hong Kong at the end of March, its a whole new growing season...

Contento.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Some friends' daughter went to maritime college here in Australia, within the last 10 years. She found at that time, a lot of male resistance to her efforts, as seems to be common, still, these days, actually, and she persisted, and toughened, and is currently employed as a ships officer. It took a lot of perseverance, and she was profoundly unhappy on occasion; but she attained her goal, and has now the career she wants.

And it wouldn't surprise me that, based on the extra efforts she had to put in to overcome that male resistance, she will likely exceed the success of her male colleagues. Some might come out of such an experience with resentment and a sense of victimization, while others would be that much more grateful for the harder road they've now successfully overcome. And then there's the added satisfaction of knowing that your efforts will likely make it easier for women who follow.

[boatman61]

Guess I should let folks know..
Ellen Macarthur is of the opinion that.. if she ever sets foot on a sailboat again it will be a day to soon..

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by Exile

And it wouldn't surprise me that, based on the extra efforts she had to put in to overcome that male resistance, she will likely exceed the success of her male colleagues. Some might come out of such an experience with resentment and a sense of victimization, while others would be that much more grateful for the harder road they've now successfully overcome. And then there's the added satisfaction of knowing that your efforts will likely make it easier for women who follow.

I have known men who actively tried to make life easier for any underdog, male or female. In my experience, they are rare, AND they ARE out there. However, I also think, that among people, competitiveness and making it easier for whoever follows don't go together. While someone like MacArthur or Autissier's precedence might help others, I don't think it was part of their motivation; and while it might be present, I wouldn't exactly expect it to be a strong motivator now.

Highly motivated, assertive, competent individuals are pretty rare, I think, in most populations.

For people who are interested, I was quite surprised to discover, some years ago, that there were female soldiers masquerading as men during the War Between The States (often called the Civil War, but, imo, it was highly uncivil! ). Also, there were a few female sailors, also having to disguise their femininity. My guess is that because of who writes the histories, we don't know the half of it, really, but I suspect there have been "outside the box" women as long as there have been humans.

Ann

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Its an individual thing and as such, no boxes to fit folks into.. its why folks sail.

Yeah, your right Boatie ....
I guess it was a dumb question....[emoji17]

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Yeah, your right Boatie ....
I guess it was a dumb question....[emoji17]

Questions are only dumb if you already know the answer..
I specialise in dumb answers..

[Exile]

Originally Posted by sailorcherry

read Bill's response. It's spot on and some of you could really benefit by at least hearing him out.

Good advice sailorcherry, and I would second reading Bill's response or reading it again if need be. But then be sure to watch this two-minute video for perhaps a bit more perspective on why so many equally well-intended people find the views represented in Bill's post so counter-productive. At that point perhaps you'd have some tools required for the type of debate that could yield educational benefits and possibly improve mutual understanding.

Btw, I wonder if this woman is single and a sailor with her own boat. I think I could be in love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at0t53G3C7U

[Melissa36]

Originally Posted by weavis

Have you thought about changing locations or seeing a therapist?

Those who have already been there know where telling takes you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFZQ...qpDzx&index=15

Good-bye free will. This is how therapy works these days.

(Actually, it has been going on since as far back as history has been recorded.)

[cyan]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

For your daughter, and if she is interested, cyan, she could take a look at Linda Weber-Rettie, from California, who singlehanded from SF to Japan, where she received a remarkable welcome, back in the 80's.

The other two, almost everyone has heard of: Isabelle Autissier and Ellen MacArthur, great athletes, great sailors, (although, imo, Isabelle was kinda hard on equipment).

Hey Ann, sincere thanks! I'll pass those along.
It's amazing what can happen when a girl locks on to a female role model that has been a pioneer in her field.

[weavis]

For boatie..

[john61ct]

Originally Posted by montenido

Although some, not all, men find Zee's comments insulting, I do not.

great post

[zeehag]

i am impressed. i received thanks from FEMALES on my postings. 8 of em. thankyou fro the thankyous, ladies.
women can do anything we want to do. that is what krimps guys shorts. sorry guys, you did this.
males compartmentalize women. they put us into a box on a shelf expecting us to remain there.
sorry we move around and we are able to do whatever we want to do.
once a woman understands this little concept, she is on her way to whatever she wants. kind of makes brains of males itch some, as they are mortified when women do fun stuff. oh yeah, you are all gung ho on having wifee learn sailing. then you are pissed when she is better than you are. hahahahaha gotta love it.

because we are women, we are forced to be more wary. we need to keep our wits when all around us turns to horsepoops. at least horsepoops are safe compost for the garden. unfortunately horsepoops live all around us and do nothing positive for gardens. these things want to fix our boats ( so they never work correctly again) and they want to take care of us ( so we donot run away hahaha) and they want to show their pride.
pride is all well and good until it gets in the way of rational thinking.
all this has only reconfirmed that which has been known many many decades.. that pride and affect are the preventers of relationships of any kind. pride prevents input absorption.
ever hear of that book how to win friends and influence people??
you ALL should find and read that antique treasure. as well as some other antiquated writings of same ilk. i'm ok-you're ok is a good start. be here now is also a good one. these are basics of independent growth.
perhaps if you are intelligent you MIGHT see some of the games being played by means of the writings presented.
all personalities aside, there are many women out here doing that about which information is being sought. there are many sources of information. dissing a woman out HERE doing that which has been requested is not how to win friends and influence people, nor how to learn. want to LEARN something, immersion always works. just be wary of the ones in whom you place so much faith. they could well be snake oil sales persons.
open minds and common sense are required for learning, as is the ability to think for ones self. choose gurus wisely.
i came into boating lifestyle despite others and before the BOOKS were written teaching unnecessarily how to live on a boat. how to cruise on a strict budget and all the allegedly informative books teaching of the lifestyle of the writers are common , now.
it is also not how to learn what is real out here, which is a different world from the desks so many of you drive. real life is also different from writings of those who have gone before... the relevance, for example, of heavy weather sailing on an engineless boat being used for heavy weather sailing a boat with engine. the 2 are different. choose input wisely.
we each get from this life that which we invest into it.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by weavis

For boatie..

Keep on point Weavis..