Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
He never lets his wife drive, even locally. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Clarification of my own post:

When he's in the car, he drives. Always. She does take the car on local trips in their neighborhood.

Still a tad weird.

[john61ct]

That's better.

And some people do prefer to be driven, but that wasn't the case being discussed.

In a shared team setting, craving control is dysfunctional, independent of gender issues but certainly exacerbated by them

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by boatman61

She's around.. think she's busy changing anchorage.. or another project now she's got her new windlass up and running.
Trivia like this is for us with emptier heads..

Actually I'm trying to NOT touch this thread with a ten foot boat hook. The pink boat is currently docked, of all things. But I'll be taking the old girl (and the boat) out next week with luck. It's still winter, but it's California, so fairly mild. Going to be in the low 60's next week, Alas cooler on the water. But it IS on the water so I'll be happy.

Purple, my yanmar with pink injector lines, continues to run well, with over 600 hours on the clock since my summer of discontent back in 2013 when I rebuilt it in the cockpit with a screwdriver and hammer.

I actually need to start my 2018 repair list real soon now. So much to do, so little time.

I'll actually be officially retiring from that engineering thingy in a month after over 40 years designing building systems. OK, OK, I've been officially retired since 2010.

What was this thread about again .

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by sailorchic34

What was this thread about again [emoji3].

Your dating life, Sailorchic, we've all been wondering about the hot dates! Just kidding. You really don't want to get dragged in here. It's a time suck and the boat projects are generally more interesting 😏

[gamayun]

And Weavis says we gotta stick to boat talk...

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Your dating life, Sailorchic, we've all been wondering about the hot dates! Just kidding. You really don't want to get dragged in here. It's a time suck and the boat projects are generally more interesting 😏

LOL, Gee I've no time or interest in dating. Yep, Going to go back to lurk mode and update my boat project todo list

Weavis, is SUCH a party pooper.

Just kidding big guy....

[BandB]

Originally Posted by cyan

My strong sense of fair play cries foul that my ex had to adopt these extreme traits to succeed in her field, just because of her gender. That sucks. She beat the odds, though. She did it. Along the way, she lost the traits that made her a joy to be with. She sold her soul, in a way. She took all of the categories in that article and turbocharged them- owning them. She can't leave this intensity at the office, because it is not an act now. It is her.

Yes, women do often feel they have to act and be tougher. The problem is beyond that though. They're trying to top men and the men's game which is in itself ugly to start with. The deep problem is the feeling of executives that they must act that way and be ruthless and aggressive and inconsiderate often of others. I was extremely fortunately to always work for someone who didn't want that and wouldn't have allowed it. I don't know what I would have done had my career started in a different environment. I saw people who made the changes and the devastating toll on them and their families.

I knew a nice man who took a job for an awful company as CEO. It was his get rich job. I had turned down talking to them. Well, my wife and I had as it was a joint decision. He lasted 18 months before he was fired. He made $18 million as he had a golden parachute. However, he was also made a scapegoat and never worked again in the industry and he spent most of the money he had on lawyers defending himself against shareholders and he lost his wife and kids as they didn't move with him and his wife divorced him along the way, not liking the man he'd become.

He had sold his soul. A lot of people do that along the way in their quest for power, prestige and riches. Unless you're very sure of yourself and comfortable with your life, it's hard to say no. So many just change into totally different people.

Fortunately, there remain some good people. There's a lady, Kay Krill, head of Ascena Retail Group, the owners of Ann Inc., Ann Taylor, Loft, etc. Annual sales of around $7 billion. A true lady who never changed. She's lived up to her social and charitable responsibilities. She's also supported women worldwide and helped women and children. She develops and empowers women and teaches them to put their best foot forward. Through her Vital Voices Initiative she's helped tens of thousands. Each year they select 50 young girls who have ideas to improve their communities and teach them how and support them. She has the HERProject which empowers women to take ownership. And, she's still a very nice lady through it all. It can be done. I'd strongly suggest any women who wants to be in big business to try to meet her and to learn from her. Men would benefit too. We actively empower women in our business but we would never tolerate from men or women the kind of behavior so common in business today. To me, Kay Krill's a hero, successful and helping others without changing who she is.

[Group9]

Originally Posted by john61ct

"lets?!"

I keep seeing that "nice guy" label applied to people with horribly regressive / oppressive attitudes and even behaviours.

Amazing how far people can get by just being pleasant and polite on the outside.

By all accounts, Ted Bundy was a nice guy. Apart from that one bad habit he had.

[cyan]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Ouch, Cyan, dude. Are you sure she's so miserable and needs a full-time mate and would go back to her meek, mild self if she could just to get a guy? Seriously, I don't want to beat a dead horse here and get a repeat of the last 1500 posts, but there's something to be said about meeting men and dating on one's own terms, and not compromising oneself. Of course, I can easily argue a bit against myself by saying that "balance" is a trait that's often missing from many successful people's lives, and the lack of it can lead to much misery, too.

The "ouch" was troubling, sorry. Keep in mind that my own tale is an extreme story. My ex is indeed miserable now, without a mate. FYI, she was never meek and mild, even in her sweet small town girl days, and certainly would not become meek and mild just to attract a guy now. I doubt meek-mild was ever an attractive trait to me. However, there may exist a golden mean somewhere between meek-mild and ball-buster. Your mention of balance is spot-on.

On the bright side you have something that my ex never had, as her idea of sailing was to have a big crew on a big yacht do all the "yucky" sailing work to deliver the big sunset to her. Antithetically, you and the other single women on this forum get to be rock stars.
Lemme explain...

There exists a truly enchanting feeling, deep within, that touches me whenever I hear certain female vocalists. I don't exactly know why, but I do know WHICH voices stir my soul. These singers all share a common trait, which I can only describe as flute-like overtones. The sound is endearing and even slightly hypnotic at times. It's always a certain type of female singing voice that performs this magic. I suspect it simply has something to do with a mother's voice in a child's ear and biology, yadayada. The reasons are not important. Such voices sing to my soul.

When a woman (and there are very few of this type) speaks of diesel fumes and sails and winches, I get that same feeling. Enchantment. When my Admiral proudly showed me her first bowline with a grin, I was enamored in ways that are hard to describe. I didn't care that it was actually a SPANISH bowline, and not exactly the version I demonstrated. I was hooked, you see.

Gamayun, you and the other women of CF share this same ability to enchant guys like me: sailors whose true love is sailing. You and the relatively few single CF women share the ability to be rock stars. Your audience might be a bit salty and quirky, but that audience will adore you, this much I promise.
Go ahead.
Sing to our souls.

[fuentes]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

I know a guy in Chicago who used to drive to the West Coast to see his daughter and to Boston to see his son and to Florida to get warm in the winter. He never lets his wife drive, even locally. He doesn't like to fly. He likes to be "in control." He doesn't take painkilling drugs, even for a root canal!!! And he doesn't consider himself a "control freak", nor do I - he's quite a nice guy.

I, too, like my tools neat and accessible. I put kitchen drawer dividers in my nav station for my daily tools, with a hatch holder to keep the lid up - one handed opening and closing. Been there for twenty years. I rarely have to go looking for anything.

Personally, I am not too particular as to where the tools, utensils, etc. are placed or stored. My only request is to "please" put them back to the same place each time after using them. It is so frustrating to spend 30 minutes looking for something you are going to use for 30 seconds.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Oh Pelagic, indulge me from time to time, huh? A girl just might need you to nod your head and agree with her, ya know? It might earn you brownie points and a back rub. Isn't that how this relationship thing works?
.

Aw Gamayun,

I do nod my head lots of times at the content of your posts and many others, but this being a virtual discussion....it is never seen !
(Note" Need to find nodding head emoji)[emoji4]

My problem is that I am always seeking clarity, fine tuning, challenging accepted traditions and getting into ridiculous levels of details.
Quite nerdy but those who know and love me understand that my heart is always in the right place and I'm incredibly loyal

Big virtual hug out to you and any others I've offended. [emoji111]

[goat]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

(Note" Need to find nodding head emoji)

Something like this?
(( {°) ))

[weavis]

Yah cant faze the big guy... Its a fine line between keeping the rules from the mods and the CF boys and girls. Ive put my neck on the line for youz all already so throw in boating related stuph and move away from the deep introspective posts that make my sacrifice worthless will yah?

I was serious about the diesel smell... In this day and age we should be able to have an older but tight diesel engine and contained smells..... but one leak somewhere and its a major cleanup.

bummer.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by goat

Something like this?
(( {°) ))

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by weavis

I was serious about the diesel smell... In this day and age we should be able to have an older but tight diesel engine and contained smells..... but one leak somewhere and its a major cleanup.

bummer.

If you think about all the fuel connections, multi filters with plastic bowls and drains, plus fuel hoses with hose clamps connected to a vibrating environment with large temperature swings, small leaks are inevitable, especially after maintenance.
The secret is to continually monitor and keep the area pristine after you fix a leak.

It also helps if you have a metal boat where none of the diesel leaks gets absorbed before you clean it.