Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by zeehag

i kinda meant the ones not as intelligent as those of us not already out here.....

Lol Zee, best statement of the night!

The world is funny and its important not to get caught up in grey areas too much.

I remember when working full time on big yachts with 16+ crew, ........whenever the petty squabbles increased and otherwise great deckhands started to fight over the attention of a cute stewardess....... I'd pray for a Storm!

Kinda puts things in perspective!

[zeehag]

geaux, storms!!!!!! beautiful deadly reminders of our mortality on a personal level.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by zeehag

geaux, storms!!!!!! beautiful deadly reminders of our mortality on a personal level.

Works every time Zee to get rid of petty complaining and distractions.

Reminds everyone that we are a team that depends on each other.

[Wayfarer1008]

The Wolf whistle as every one call it is the universal navy salute whistle salute for look over there and is probably as old as the whistle themselves.
As for legality of verbal abuse its most definitely a murky water situation because expressing yourself good or bad is protected under the right of free speech and only becomes a crime if some one physically acts upon it.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Wayfarer1008

As for legality of verbal abuse its most definitely a murky water situation because expressing yourself good or bad is protected under the right of free speech and only becomes a crime if some one physically acts upon it.

Otherwise baseball and hockey games would become very different

[john61ct]

Originally Posted by Wayfarer1008

The Wolf whistle as every one call it is the universal navy salute whistle salute for look over there and is probably as old as the whistle themselves.
As for legality of verbal abuse its most definitely a murky water situation because expressing yourself good or bad is protected under the right of free speech and only becomes a crime if some one physically acts upon it.

That last is not true even in the US, and some obscure origin story irrelevant.

Falsely calling "Fire!" in a crowded theater is the classic example, speech intended and likely to incite violence or a*riot is clearly illegal, grounds of national security etc.

Racial hate speech is usually forbidden, every jurisdiction has its own definitions and various levels of enforcement.

And civil redress is different from criminal sanctions of course.

Right now sexual harassment is legally sanctioned in the workplace and schools / universities.

Out in public places it is very common, much more than men are aware, for women to be made to feel unsafe.

It is **not** a flattering compliment even without any inferred threat.

[daletournier]

Right now sexual harassment is legally sanctioned in the workplace and schools /universities???? ?..... Really? This is your opinion John, don't state it as fact!

I owned a fitness centre for twenty years, I used to get up in front of classes of seventy women, women can and do carry on in the same way as men given the right environment, never once did I cry "that lady whistled at me, I feel violated and sexally harrased!" because I wasn't!

Assigning the label of sexual harassment or verbal violence to a wolf whistle is just hilarious. Doesn't intent come into it somewhere?

Its a seriously over sensitive world when a wolf whistle gets compared to sexual harassment and violence.... stop the world I want to get off.

[Olddan1943]

I think I am confused AGAIN.
I need firm guidelines so as not to end up on court and or prison. Even at my advanced age, I am still too pretty to go to prison.
Please, someone explain to me the socially accepted method of approaching a woman.
As I understand it, men are to await on the woman to "make the first move" and we have no say so? We are await on the woman to remove our clothing? We shall lay there passively? We must realize and accept she can change her mind no matter what 'stage' has been reached? Sort of puts new meaning to the phrase, "Stand and deliver!!!"
It is beginning to make a "rental" look more and more attractive. At the very least, both parties know why they are there and what is expected. When all is said and done, one or both parties go their own separate ways. Oh wait, 'renting' a woman is still illegal in most states. So much for Plan B.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Olddan1943

I think I am confused AGAIN.
I need firm guidelines so as not to end up on court and or prison. Even at my advanced age, I am still too pretty to go to prison.
Please, someone explain to me the socially accepted method of approaching a woman.
As I understand it, men are to await on the woman to "make the first move" and we have no say so? We are await on the woman to remove our clothing? We shall lay there passively? We must realize and accept she can change her mind no matter what 'stage' has been reached? Sort of puts new meaning to the phrase, "Stand and deliver!!!"
It is beginning to make a "rental" look more and more attractive. At the very least, both parties know why they are there and what is expected. When all is said and done, one or both parties go their own separate ways. Oh wait, 'renting' a woman is still illegal in most states. So much for Plan B.

If you do choose plan B what ever you do DON'T whistle!!, it's a form of violence.

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by daletournier

If you do choose plan B what ever you do DON'T whistle!!, it's a form of violence.

Am I permitted to say "Thank you", as I leave the money on the side table?

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by john61ct

....., every jurisdiction has its own definitions and various levels of enforcement.

And civil redress is different from criminal sanctions of course.

Right now sexual harassment is legally sanctioned in the workplace and schools / universities.

Out in public places it is very common, much more than men are aware, for women to be made to feel unsafe.

It is **not** a flattering compliment even without any inferred threat.

Hi John,
I pretty much agree with what you said above 'EXCEPT' maybe the reason it happens is not because of legal sanction, BUT because it really is so poorly defined?

Me...Defining SH...
1....Anything sexually physical like groping, patting a bottom, or even unwanted hugs.

2..... Repeated unwanted sexual propositions, especially in the workplace involving a supervisor....

3..... What else am I missing.?
Note, I do not include a wolf whistle

Here in Asia, young women will wear 2 or 3 pairs of underwear to protect themselves from being groped on the trains and busses, so that definitely is indicative of a problem, but obviously so hard to police.

Women in the US speaking out forcefully, I think is great!

But when does a publicaly outed indiscretion that happened 40 years ago, become a witch hunt?

Horny guys and according to Dale, horny women can act badly, if they feel sexually empowered to try......

But isn't that just... , (to make a bad pun), something in our Genes?

Many Women dress and perfume themselves to feel feminine and "attractive", but unfortunately, that often attracts some unwanted attention by a horny guy.....

Women, should encourage each other to let it be known (in no uncertain terms) that SH will not be tolerated!.....

Sailors should be upfront with what they hope to get sexually from a female crew, before that lady comitts to a passage.

But it makes more sense to me that this is done privately between the two individuals WHEN it happens, rather than via the media, years later.

[JPA Cate]

Guys, believe it or not, the "wolf whistle" can be perceived as threatening. You may think it is harmless, but women as a group are fairly aware that men are bigger, and that they themselves are potential victims of getting crosswise with that superior power. Most do not take the wolf whistle as a compliment, but as a potential threat.

Ann

[Olddan1943]

And what cn a man do when a woman says, "You might as well because I am going to tell everyone you tired."?

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Guys, believe it or not, the "wolf whistle" can be perceived as threatening. You may think it is harmless, but women as a group are fairly aware that men are bigger, and that they themselves are potential victims of getting crosswise with that superior power. Most do not take the wolf whistle as a compliment, but as a potential threat.

Ann

Hi Ann,

I guess men view a whistle more contextualy.

A man sees a young woman, perhaps a neighbour, a friend, in a cute sun dress, walking by and gives a complementary whistle,.... She smiles, laughs, curtseys and walks on with an extra swagger in her step.

You are describing what could happen in a dark alley, or situation where the woman is at risk, regardless of the whistle.

Is my thinking still off here?

Is it wrong to complement a woman for her looks, with zero sleaze intent?

[JPA Cate]

Pelagic, no, of course it isn't wrong to complement a woman with zero sleaze intent, but if you elect to do it with a wolf whistle, it may well be misinterpreted. In your example with the neighbor, it is different because you know each other. It is the stranger's wolf whistle that is more likely to be perceived as a threat.

olddan1943, if she says that to you, run away as fast as you can, or, if you're in mind to be litigious, that's a a big threat, a verbal assault, and can be a civil court issue, at least in some of the states. There ARE lawyers who specialize in victimized men.

Women can be demonized, as men have been, too, but probably have as many bad apples as guys do. I don't blame you for being scared, people's memories for sex offenders are long. I would think especially if you are wealthy, behaving circumspectly would be in order--you've more to lose if she sues. However, I don't know how available lawyers to take her suit pro bono would be.

Ann