Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[boatpoker]

Originally Posted by Barney21

Hey Boatpoker I think you should look in the mirror and congratulate the lucky guy looking at you

Too true, I know what I have and never take it for granted.

[TooCoys]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

What should I do?

In my opinion....

You should finish your boat, do what you love, and stop looking for a mate. what you may find is that while doing what you love, cruising, you'll end up finding a mate that enjoys it just as much as you do.

Your perfect mate may be on an island somewhere, but you'll never find out because you're too busy refitting an old land yacht.


ETA: I guess that was an untimely and very late response.

[Carat]

This is an old thread but I'll put in my 2 cents. Think it's hard for a single man? Try being a single woman mid 40's. Older men want younger women....so pickin's for us 40 yr old women are slim. I workout and stay in shape but still get sidelined for younger women. I don't look like a leather purse with eyes, but still men want that youth. Went out with a colleague. He thought I was late 20's. Told him I was 43, I'm 47 now, and that was the end of that date. Later he met a younger woman, not a hottie, married her and within 2 months she was pregnant.
I'd love to find a man who wants to live aboard and sail the world with me, but most men I've met are stuck in the matrix waiting for a hot young wife, babies and a white picket fence. I've stopped looking and am focusing on getting my own boat and cruising.
Seriously, a good mind, attitude and overall good traits are far better than an aesthetically pleasing young body that might be attached to a disappointing mind and soul. I mean, at some point, you are going to have to converse with the other person.

[boatpoker]

Originally Posted by Carat

This is an old thread but I'll put in my 2 cents. Think it's hard for a single man? Try being a single woman mid 40's. Older men want younger women....so pickin's for us 40 yr old women are slim. I workout and stay in shape but still get sidelined for younger women. I don't look like a leather purse with eyes, but still men want that youth. Went out with a colleague. He thought I was late 20's. Told him I was 43, I'm 47 now, and that was the end of that date. Later he met a younger woman, not a hottie, married her and within 2 months she was pregnant.
I'd love to find a man who wants to live aboard and sail the world with me, but most men I've met are stuck in the matrix waiting for a hot young wife, babies and a white picket fence. I've stopped looking and am focusing on getting my own boat and cruising.
Seriously, a good mind, attitude and overall good traits are far better than an aesthetically pleasing young body that might be attached to a disappointing mind and soul. I mean, at some point, you are going to have to converse with the other person.

I think men looking for younger women is a bit of a myth. After my wife of 42yrs passed away it took a while for me to get back in the game. I went on dating sites specifically looking for a woman my own age (65) or slightly older (68) as I wanted someone with similar interests and life experience. What I found in that age group were either bridge playing couch potatoes or golf club hangarounds ..... neither appealed.

I reset my "preferences" on the dating site to 63-65 and found a lot of women who loved to shop and travel and wanted a "financially secure man" to fund those enterprises.

I reset again from 60 - 63 and found an offensive mix of boozed up, bitter, desperate women and did not feel like making Tuesday night recovery sessions a part of my life.

I eventually got a response from a 59yr. old kid (see post 581) and we just last night celebrated our anniversary, the best two years of our lives together.

[danielamartindm]

Always remember the advice Alfie's father offered:

"You show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a bloke who's sick o' shaggin' her."

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by Carat

This is an old thread but I'll put in my 2 cents. Think it's hard for a single man? Try being a single woman mid 40's. Older men want younger women....so pickin's for us 40 yr old women are slim. I workout and stay in shape but still get sidelined for younger women. I don't look like a leather purse with eyes, but still men want that youth. Went out with a colleague. He thought I was late 20's. Told him I was 43, I'm 47 now, and that was the end of that date. Later he met a younger woman, not a hottie, married her and within 2 months she was pregnant.
I'd love to find a man who wants to live aboard and sail the world with me, but most men I've met are stuck in the matrix waiting for a hot young wife, babies and a white picket fence. I've stopped looking and am focusing on getting my own boat and cruising.
Seriously, a good mind, attitude and overall good traits are far better than an aesthetically pleasing young body that might be attached to a disappointing mind and soul. I mean, at some point, you are going to have to converse with the other person.

Ok. Handsome living aboard vagabond, 75, seeking younger woman with brains.
Yer turn.

[Olddan1943]

Carat, I am 74 and pretty much all women are younger than me. Alas, if they are interested in boating, they all want a rich man with a bigger boat so they can lie on the upper deck, sunbathe and have the crew look after her.
Per boat poker's evaluation of the ladies in various age brackets, I agree with him. Seems 'the ladies' are willing to "trade" (wink wink) for security and wealth for themselves. Some insist on marriage to secure their inheritance and or during the divorce.
Nope, not bitter, just real tired of "takers". I keep hoping for find one who can 'blend'.

[Nicor]

First off, since this thread was brought back to life :

My thoughts on life and retirement :

Go where i want,
When i want,
for as long as i want.

if by chance i did want to meet a young lady to sail into the sunset with
she would have to be at least something like 55 yo and have quite a bit of sailing experience already. Like 15 to 20 years or so.

Good looks and what seems to be on other older men's mind ?
Could not care less.

If she knows how to handle a dual sport motorcycle brush busting, that's even better.

Oh, here is a more important part, if she has sons/daughters/grandkids...
I an't gonna say, but the underlining statement is forget it.

My son is grown and on his own. Dont have to worry about him.

[Lost Horizons]

Originally Posted by Carat

I'd love to find a man who wants to live aboard and sail the world with me, but most men I've met are stuck in the matrix waiting for a hot young wife, babies and a white picket fence. I've stopped looking and am focusing on getting my own boat and cruising.

In reality, most single sailors are men. Exactly because women want babies and picket fences. Therefore, I have not even started looking.

[john61ct]

Wow, pretty honest stuff, amazingly offensive to many I'm sure.

Will just say "not all men", and goes the other way too.

Lots of older people set in their ways, and most especially set in their POV, will be much happier either remaining alone, or if they can afford it, a PAYG 'relationship'.

[goat]

Originally Posted by Carat

a hot young wife, babies and a white picket fence.

^^^^ That's my worst nightmare.

I mean, at some point, you are going to have to converse with the other person.

^^^^ Exactly. I can't understand what kids are saying, they talk too fast about stuff that isn't important, but they're too young to know what is important.

Jesus, I've just read what I wrote. I've turned into my dad.

goat (57 going on 97, apparently)

[Pelagic]

I've always wondered why some people put such age preconditions on finding and developing a relationship?

For me, it starts with eyes and a soul that is honest, open to a different lifestyle and a sense of humor about why we enjoy each other.

Love is not about finding 'sameness' or even equality.... but about giving each other what they desire from the other, in order to feel complete and happy in that union.

Obviously, you need to share and be realistic about the work ethic needed to achieve your goals, but that somehow always feels secondary to the warm spoonful feeling when you awake.

My wonderful partner and I have been together for 13 years.
She is considerably younger than I, yet if ages were reversed, I would love her just as deeply!

[Lost Horizons]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

I've always wondered why some people put such age preconditions on finding and developing a relationship?

To stay out of jail?

[SURV69]

Working on a relationship is intense work and if it doesn't work out, it wastes time. I'm not saying this tongue in cheek, it's just that when the available time becomes shorter and shorter each day, week or month and the chance of finding a mate for sailing is slim.

I don't know what, in the female psyche, draws women to power boats or no boats, before they consider a sailboat. Sailing is "pastoral" ... I would think sailing would be a chick magnet, but it's not.

I see SO MANY men with sailboats that leave wives at home .... the wife doesn't want to come.

So, unless you go through a dating service that spells out exactly what you have to offer and exactly what you're looking for, the odds are against you.

When you're younger, the time is more affordable you have so much life left, you cn afford taking the chances and losing that time to no end.

In my case, I'm 68, look young and I'm pretty healthy ... more healthy that I used to be.

Right now I'm on a hiatus .... I'm on the boat, but sitting for winter(bubbling), in Huron, Ohio(Lake Erie). But long-term, or some derivitive of full-time sailing means I'm never anywhere ... I'm on the move, or I'm static for a short period of time. The odds of seeing a face looking at me from across a crowd, falling in love .... and she loves sailing .... uh uh. Just not going to happen. If I want it to happen in some way or manner, in a matter of speaking, I'd have to "pause", life for a while. At a younger age, I'd do it.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Lost Horizons

To stay out of jail?

If you are considering an age where that is an issue......you have some serious problems